Crying it out??

ecloho

I am just curious who has tried letting their little one cry it out to sleep? My boy is only one month old so probably too young to even attempt that, but I'm just curious and if so, is it something that works for you and you have continued to try? Really just want to know opinions from people who have tried it, not looking for people to judge those who do

kamio92

It's something we will start introducing when bubba hits 3 months until then we are attempting to respond immediately (ASAP) to her needs and cries. I won't lie though, she's been laying there crying at the top of her lungs while I'm getting ng formula ready for 5 or so minutes or she'll be freaking out about breastfeeding and I'll take her off and put her on my lap or just down in general and leave her to scream while I take a moment to pull myself back together and calm down/de-stress.

Marinewife81

We did CIO with my other 2 but the first one was 18mos and the second was over a year. At 1 month old it is way too early for that (at least on purpose). With 2 other kids in the house, sometimes he just has to cry for a little bit, though I try to stay where he can see me so he knows I didn't abandon him.

kelly422

1 month waaaaaay too early. Wait until 4 months at least, more like 6 months!

oneblessedmess

I haven't tried it but don't judge those that do. However I do think anything before 6 months is far too early.

I have put her down and let her cry for a bit while I get food for myself, and once when I was getting overwhelmed by her crying. I think that's okay. I just think it's too early to use CIO as a training method.

lovehorse77

When you post on a public forum be prepared to get all opinions, not just the ones you ask for. I have not, and will not, try letting LO cry it out. That's my choice, I realize others can choose whatever they like. Anyhow, I'm really posting to let you know what I did because it worked really well for my little girl (not that it'll work for all babies). If she wakes at night and is still awake after a diaper change and feeding we just put her in her crib. If she's happy, great. If not, we pick her up and soothe/comfort her but we keep the lights off, don't make eye contact and limit any talking. It feels tedious but she never got into any crying fits and it really helped her learn the difference between day and night. And bonus is you can start doing that right away! Maybe if it works as well for you as it did for us, you'll never let your little one cry into exhaustion until he/she falls asleep scared and alone. We kept up what I described above w consistency from day 1 and now at 2 months, baby girl sleeps through the night. (I realize we are also very lucky and it might not be that fast w all babies). I found the "No Cry Sleep Solution" book to be really helpful. Also, some say that being consistant is more important than whatever method you choose.

jesicabrennan

We did at about 6 months with DS1. Will be doing it again if this one starts waking up every hour and a half to nurse like big brother did!

randa923

As of now I (I say I because my hbby doesn't do night time feedings since I have th boobs) never let my LO cry it out. He will be 8 weeks on Wednesday. At night I also limit eye contact and don't really talk to him during feedings. In fact if he looks at me I close my eyes to pretend I'm sleeping hoping he will do the same thing lol. I usually rock him back to sleep and he typically goes into his crib no problem. If he doesn't then I rock/nurse him more. During the day I also try to get to him right away. He's way too young to cry it out in my opinion. If we decide to do that later it will only be for 2-3 minutes to begin with. Hubby wants to let him cry it out when he's bigger-I'm not sure I do....

PurpleBookmark

We did at 6 months with DS1 and DD1 and it worked wonderfully to get them to sleep initially. We did kind of the Ferber method, we would go in every 5 minutes, then 10, then 15, then 20. DS never went past 10 and DD only did 20 the very first night and never again. Very minimal crying within a week. Now they go to sleep no problem although they definitely weren't thrilled to go to bed until they turned a year and we started allowing their stuffed animal to sleep with them.

I believe with Ferber method you're not supposed to pick them up but we did when we went in at the intervals, picked up, cuddled, told them it was night night time and we loved them then put them back down.

Also want to note it never worked for us in the middle of the night, both kids continued to wake up for one more bit of milk for quite some time. DS did until 2 months shy of 2 and DD dropped it at about 18 months. They both finally dropped that last "snack" on their own, and now sleep 7 pm to 7 am at ages 4 and nearly 2.

2babes3angels

We used it with our ODS when he was a year old and was still waking up to nurse 2x in the night. It took 2 really hard, awful nights and 1 not so bad one, and he's been sleeping through the night ever since (he's about to be 2). It really is a very effective tool, but it also sucks.

Ckorines

Never. It's not for us.

katiexxpaige

My LO is 7 weeks old. We will let him cry if we know he is fully satisfied and just wants to be held if we are unable to tend to him at that moment (showering, prepping something, etc) and typically he will soothe himself somewhat quickly. At night we just started letting him cry himself to sleep in his crib. The first night he cried for an hour before he fell asleep then the next 2 nights only ten minutes. During the night we don't tend to him unless he full on cries vs just small fussed since he will just fall back asleep. Do not let anyone tell you that you are not parenting right, use your instincts! Remember what you do depends on the personality of your baby! I would wait another few weeks, my pediatrician said you should not let a baby cry for more than 30 minutes until 6-8 weeks old

corndogrobot

We tried it for one night (with our first--he's 4 now) after I read a book about it. Ferber method-- I think
We lasted (maybe) 40 minutes. Gave up and started co sleeping. That worked better for us. We attempted this around 6 months old. You have to do works best for you. Cry it out wasn't our style. And I'm glad it didnt work for us, I love co sleeping.

Ckorines

We are cosleepers too!

mrsrep123

So are we

SBbabyonboard

I co slept with DS. But my DD is in a bassinet right now and will be switching to crib sleeping at 3 months as she already naps in there during the day. I'm not to sure about the just let them cry method, I'm sure it does work for some but myself I can't let my daughter go a couple of minutes without feeling horrible. She doesn't know any better and just wants to know she not left abandoned. Although my daughter sleeps through The night at 6 weeks old so maybe i would feel differently if she was up every 1-2 hrs during the nights. Every parent is different as is every child. We all just need to do what feels right!

lovehorse77

I know to each his/her own (to an extent), but the thought of a little babe crying on and on because they want sonething, even if it's comfort and not food, breaks my heart. Just thinking about it with my LO makes me want to cry. Cry it out definitely isn't for my family.

mirrenrue

Does crying it out pertain to a nap as well? He was being rocked in his glider to fall asleep for a nap. I got in the shower and a minute later started crying. It didn't sound like a bloody murder scream so I just hurried up (washed my hair too) and by the time I got out it had been 10 minutes and he fell asleep. So I let him cry it out but not on purpose. He just wanted his pacifier and once he didn't get it, he fell asleep anyway. I wouldn't let him cry past 10-15 min anyway if I can help it. But as a mother you learn their cries and I think you can make the judgment. LO is just now 8 weeks old.

Knottie99627423

Aren't there now studies showing that leering babies "cry it out" is psychologically damaging?

shantelleyrae

Babies spend 9 months so close to us then there out. And it's scary for them! They just want be held close! I suggest baby wearing.. Also look up the 4th trimester. It's good for babies to wake throughout the night. It keeps sids away... I would never let my baby cry it out.. Sure he crys.. But I'm right there trying to soothe him

jessieR358

katiexxpaige said:

My LO is 7 weeks old. We will let him cry if we know he is fully satisfied and just wants to be held if we are unable to tend to him at that moment (showering, prepping something, etc) and typically he will soothe himself somewhat quickly. At night we just started letting him cry himself to sleep in his crib. The first night he cried for an hour before he fell asleep then the next 2 nights only ten minutes. During the night we don't tend to him unless he full on cries vs just small fussed since he will just fall back asleep. Do not let anyone tell you that you are not parenting right, use your instincts! Remember what you do depends on the personality of your baby! I would wait another few weeks, my pediatrician said you should not let a baby cry for more than 30 minutes until 6-8 weeks old

An hour? That seems extreme for a 7 week old. Poor baby. Of course they want to be held at this age. That is a need.

Knottie99627423

The idea of letting a 7 week old "cry it out" is absolutely heart breaking. You, YOU, are all that baby knows. Understand that your baby feels abandoned. A 7 week old is not manipulating you. They NEED your comfort and warmth and love. I read this yesterday and I have thought about it all night. You can take comfort in knowing that you were partially responsible for my baby getting a million more kisses yesterday. Please don't let your 7 week old cry it out.

katiexxpaige said:

My LO is 7 weeks old. We will let him cry if we know he is fully satisfied and just wants to be held if we are unable to tend to him at that moment (showering, prepping something, etc) and typically he will soothe himself somewhat quickly. At night we just started letting him cry himself to sleep in his crib. The first night he cried for an hour before he fell asleep then the next 2 nights only ten minutes. During the night we don't tend to him unless he full on cries vs just small fussed since he will just fall back asleep. Do not let anyone tell you that you are not parenting right, use your instincts! Remember what you do depends on the personality of your baby! I would wait another few weeks, my pediatrician said you should not let a baby cry for more than 30 minutes until 6-8 weeks old

meganpatel

Knottie99627423 said:

The idea of letting a 7 week old "cry it out" is absolutely heart breaking. You, YOU, are all that baby knows. Understand that your baby feels abandoned. A 7 week old is not manipulating you. They NEED your comfort and warmth and love. I read this yesterday and I have thought about it all night. You can take comfort in knowing that you were partially responsible for my baby getting a million more kisses yesterday. Please don't let your 7 week old cry it out.

I agree with you. I thought about it all last night too, and discussed it with DH this morning. We can't let our LO cry it out as she doesn't know how to manipulate us. Sometimes we just want cuddles. I know I do. It's not 'spoiling' your baby, it's called loving them. We are their entire world and remain so for many years. My baby also got many more kisses and cuddles this morning and I was rewarded by beautiful giggles and smiles.

oneblessedmess

Knottie99627423 said:

Aren't there now studies showing that leering babies "cry it out" is psychologically damaging?

I was reading about that the other day. Generally speaking, babies who are left to CIO tend to grow up to be needy and insecure toddlers and children. Babies who are consistently comforted and reassured end up feeling more secure and in turn are more independent. Which makes sense, if you are comforting your baby when he needs you then you are reinforcing that you've got their back. They don't always need to turn around and make sure you haven't left them alone, never to return.

And yeah, I also think letting a 7 week old cry for you for an hour is cruel. Even those who advocate CIO don't advise doing it until at least 3 months.

WSatisfiedP

Letting a 7 week old baby cry for an hour is one of the most horrible things I've heard, bordering abuse. Yes, here I am. Judging.

jessieR358

WSatisfiedP said:

Letting a 7 week old baby cry for an hour is one of the most horrible things I've heard, bordering abuse. Yes, here I am. Judging.

It physically still makes me sick to my stomach thinking of that baby crying for an hour. I don't think neglect is out of line. I'll judge too.

PurpleBookmark

jesshrou said:

Letting a 7 week old baby cry for an hour is one of the most horrible things I've heard, bordering abuse. Yes, here I am. Judging.

It physically still makes me sick to my stomach thinking of that baby crying for an hour. I don't think neglect is out of line. I'll judge too.

Yeah we do CIO at 6 months but no matter the age an hour just seems WAY too long.  In a 7 week old I honestly can't imagine, it would break my heart.

LSquared3960

I am a big believer in CIO. We did it with my DS at 5 or 6 months and he is a well adjusted, independent, happy 3 year old.  By 7 months, we could put him in his crib at night or for a nap wide awake and he would happily coo until he fell asleep. Even still at nap time DS will lay quietly in bed with a book until he passes out. I don't believe for a second that if its done right that you are causing long term psychological harm to your child, but that's just my opinion. 

That being said, letting a 7 week old cry for an hour makes me sick to my stomach. At this age they are nowhere near ready for any kind of sleep training. I'm pretty sure any pediatrician would tell you that. 

ecloho

Thank you @LSquared3960 well said! =D>

kristyn831

Having a 7 week old cry it out breaks my heart. Whatever pediatrician said it's ok for a 6-8 week old to cry for more than 30 minutes is a moron. Don't be lazy, get out of bed and tend to that baby! You're all he knows at this age, even if he just wants to be cuddled.

Knottie99627423

LSquared3960 said:

I am a big believer in CIO. We did it with my DS at 5 or 6 months and he is a well adjusted, independent, happy 3 year old.  By 7 months, we could put him in his crib at night or for a nap wide awake and he would happily coo until he fell asleep. Even still at nap time DS will lay quietly in bed with a book until he passes out. I don't believe for a second that if its done right that you are causing long term psychological harm to your child, but that's just my opinion. 

That being said, letting a 7 week old cry for an hour makes me sick to my stomach. At this age they are nowhere near ready for any kind of sleep training. I'm pretty sure any pediatrician would tell you that. 

Are you a psychologist? Because they think it does cause long term damage. Maybe you do in fact have a PhD in child psychology and have studied this but unless you do, let's leave it to the experts.

Knottie99627423

Also, thank freaking goodness I'm not the only one who thought that crying it out at 7 weeks was harsh.

LSquared3960

Knottie99627423 said:

I am a big believer in CIO. We did it with my DS at 5 or 6 months and he is a well adjusted, independent, happy 3 year old.  By 7 months, we could put him in his crib at night or for a nap wide awake and he would happily coo until he fell asleep. Even still at nap time DS will lay quietly in bed with a book until he passes out. I don't believe for a second that if its done right that you are causing long term psychological harm to your child, but that's just my opinion. 

That being said, letting a 7 week old cry for an hour makes me sick to my stomach. At this age they are nowhere near ready for any kind of sleep training. I'm pretty sure any pediatrician would tell you that. 

Are you a psychologist? Because they think it does cause long term damage. Maybe you do in fact have a PhD in child psychology and have studied this but unless you do, let's leave it to the experts.

Like I said, it's my opinion based on my experience with my child. Pretty sure there is research out there arguing both sides of this topic.  

hankhunter

read Bruce Perry's MD PhD evidence based research regarding the neurosequential model of therapeutics, CIO is not a way to raise kiddos - the first three years of a child's life are incredibly important for developing trust. I will never let my daughter CIO.

ecloho

Crying it out, specifically baby wise, came up at my lactation support group on Monday...consultant feels that for very young babies (first 3 months or in the "4th trimester") it is "learned helplessness" & not age appropriate

beccer123

I will let mine cry a little. Maybe not an hour but still. My DD cried it out for 3 nights when I took her paci away. 

@LSquared3960, I'm glad to see that CIO worked for your DS and that you went with it and that he is so well adjusted. For the most part with DD, she didn't cry much. I lived with my mom and grandma in the same house so she didn't get a chance to CIO other than me putting my foot down on the paci. Now, she's 9 and she's always looking for attention for anything she can get it for. So, I think it just depends on the child as to how the react to CIO or being comforted. That's my opinion. No PhD here just my experience.

beeish

I had this discussion with DH yesterday. My mother, his mother and all great grandparents say let her cry it out. I'll be damned if my little one is going to cry it out!! I've caught him trying to let her cry it out when I take a shower or I'm cooking and have set him straight.
I never let my first cry it out and I have no problems with separation or attention craving.

ecloho

They are too young to develop bad habits!! Please mommies watch this video! I also posted it as a separate discussion

https://www.parents.com/videos/device/mobile/v/78168399/baby-sleep-get-the-facts.htm