Sex After Birth — The Bump
Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Sex After Birth

I'm approx 10 weeks postpartum. I was signed off for intercourse at 4 weeks after a vaginal delivery. I didn't tear except for a small part of my clitoral hood that causes no real issues now at all. However, at 5 weeks we tried to DTD and I ended up bleeding for 3 days afterwards. We waited until 8 weeks postpartum before trying again and this time I bled for a week. I'm exclusively breastfeeding but yet they tried to tell me it was a period. I have implanon and have experienced bleed with that before but that was light spotting. This is always heavy postpartumish bleeding. 

Despite the bleeding, sex has become nearly completely unenjoyable. We use lube, he's gentle, etc. It's just so uncomfortable and I always feel really swollen afterwards as if my lady parts are rearranged even though I didn't suffer any real trauma. Does this get better? Has anyone else experienced this? My husband and I were very sexual before and I don't want that to completely go away because I can't enjoy sex anymore. Even masturbation takes effort. Help!

Re: Sex After Birth

  • No experience as im a FTM, but I have been given the advice many times to let your doctor know whats going on bc the can give either prescribe or give you a sample size of estrogen cream and it can often do the trick down there. Im concerned about this when im allowed "back in the game" as well and most of my friends have suggested asking for the estrogen cream.
    KamiF
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  • Right there with ya.  I'm 8 weeks PP.  Had a c-section though.  Was given the green light at my 6 week PP appointment.  Was thinking sex wouldn't be all that different since I had the c, but I was wrong.  We've done it twice and both times have been very uncomfortable, at best.  And my desire is not what it used to be.  I haven't had the bleeding, but I've never really 100% stopped bleeding since delivery.  (It's just been extremely light.)

    Am really just hoping it gets better with time.
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    SashaDenn25
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  • If you're breastfeeding, your body is producing less estrogen, which is why must people that breastfeed don't get their periods back right away. Lack of estrogen also dries you up down there. Try using lube and see if that helps. Basically, when you are breastfeeding, your body wants to do whatever it can to stop you from getting pregnant again. So you will have less CM and likely not menstruate for a while.
    Me: 37 DH: 37
    Married 5-31-14
    DD1 born 6-21-15
    DD2 born 6-11-17
    DS born 9-5-18

  • Lalala2326Lalala2326 member
    edited August 2015
    With my first I have similar issues and finally asked my doctor at 8 months PP. She said that my hormone levels were just extremely low from breastfeeding and I didn't have the elasticity or lubrication I had before. She ended up prescribing topical lidocaine which I needed until DD nightweaned and started really cutting back around 15-16 months PP. She weaned at a little over 18 months PP and I was just started to feel normal again around 4-5 months later when I got pregnant again :P I'm only 3.5 weeks PP this time but have zero sex drive again. I'll be asking my doctor for lidocaine again at my 6 week appt and planning on going through the motions till I wean :P Hopefully you get your drive back sooner, but just know it can be normal and isn't permanent if it doesn't come back right away. Its really a short period of time in the grand scheme of things. Just make sure you have good open communication with your husband.

    Edited to add that I had 2 planned c-sections with no labor so definitely no vaginal trauma.
  • MtnAsh143 said:
    I'm approx 10 weeks postpartum. I was signed off for intercourse at 4 weeks after a vaginal delivery. I didn't tear except for a small part of my clitoral hood that causes no real issues now at all. However, at 5 weeks we tried to DTD and I ended up bleeding for 3 days afterwards. We waited until 8 weeks postpartum before trying again and this time I bled for a week. I'm exclusively breastfeeding but yet they tried to tell me it was a period. I have implanon and have experienced bleed with that before but that was light spotting. This is always heavy postpartumish bleeding. 

    Despite the bleeding, sex has become nearly completely unenjoyable. We use lube, he's gentle, etc. It's just so uncomfortable and I always feel really swollen afterwards as if my lady parts are rearranged even though I didn't suffer any real trauma. Does this get better? Has anyone else experienced this? My husband and I were very sexual before and I don't want that to completely go away because I can't enjoy sex anymore. Even masturbation takes effort. Help!
    Sadly, this was normal for me after both vaginal births. It just takes time for your tissues to be able to tolerate the friction of sex. Also, hormonal changes and BF-- can make sex uncomfortable and irritating to the tissues. Sex became enjoyable about 6-8 months after I gave birth. You have to go slow and really, do it as often as your body allows (and you feel up to it). Its really a slog in the beginning, but its not a personal failing. It is very common.


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  • I have the same issues. I am 9 weeks PP after a vaginal delivery and BF, only tried sex twice, used lots of lube, but it was still very uncomfortable. It felt like broken glass down there. Plus I have zero sex drive. I think I'll have to try again soon, but by the sounds of it , it won't get better for awhile. Does the estrogen cream get transfered to the baby or affect her in any way?
  • I've had similar issues. My baby is almost 8 months old, but we've only had sex a hand full of times because it's been so uncomfortable. I tore a bit, and pelvic massage has helped to loosen up the scar tissue, but it probably won't get back to normal until I'm done breastfeeding. It's very frustrating for both me and my hubby, but you can only do what you can do. Keep communicating and try to find other ways to have intimate time together.
  • I'm glad that you posted this. I am 3 months PP and BF. We have attempted sex and it ended badly. It is such a relief that I'm not alone in this and it will get better. Thank you.
  • Zarea said:

    I have the same issues. I am 9 weeks PP after a vaginal delivery and BF, only tried sex twice, used lots of lube, but it was still very uncomfortable. It felt like broken glass down there. Plus I have zero sex drive. I think I'll have to try again soon, but by the sounds of it , it won't get better for awhile. Does the estrogen cream get transfered to the baby or affect her in any way?

    Nope, with it being a cream you just have to make sure to thoroughly wash your hands after application!
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