STMs, what do you wish you knew/were told/were more prepared for in the labor process?

bb89012

STMs, going through labor another time now, what do you wish you knew/were told/were more prepared for?

LC122

Being your own advocate or having someone who has no problem advocating for you.

This is more about knowing that you can refuse and request whatever you want. Some things are done for very specific and good reasons but others are common practice for "just in case suchandsuch happens" and they just don't apply to everyone, in reality and statistically.
With my first, I was just irritated by the number of times I was woken up for vitals or something else trivial that was really just a nurse checking a box on a chart and not medically necessary. With my second, I had a sign that said something to the effect of "Do not disturb (unless you're bringing breakfast)"
That being said, if you have blood pressure issues, let them come check yours.

kristib1027

What happens after the baby comes out. I was soo young when I had my first so I had no idea that things keep coming out after your baby comes and that you can tear and the overall healing process.

KRH6829

I was unaware that you could go into the hospital to be induced, have it not work, and then be sent home the next day. They induced me four days later and it worked, but it took a long time. I started having contractions right away in the morning when they induced me and didn't have my son until the next evening. I wish that I had know how long there induction process could take. I hope that this little girl comes on her own and that I don't have to be induced again.

maiatene

That you can't eat or drink anything until the baby is born no matter how long your labor is. I didn't eat for at least 24 hours and needless to say I was starving. Starving and tired is not a good combination in general, when you have to birth a baby its worse lol.

this time I'm hitting up shake shack before I check in

Court11152325

@maiatene did you birth at a hospital? I was under the impression hospitals didn't let you eat because of the chance for a c-section.

maiatene

@Court11152325 I did but the intake nurse said if I ate before checking in they would've given me something so I wouldn't throw-up. It's a sucky rule but I totally get why it's in place. Now I think they let you have apple juice which is better than water so hopefully that holds off the hunger until I can push this kid out lol

juliesteve

...that just because you ask for an epidural, doesn't mean you'll get one. Emergencies happen where the anesthesiologist gets called away and you don't get one in time. Happened to me! DD was coming fast, I thought I would die from the pain, anesthesiologist was on his way when an emergency was paged on the PA system, I waited 30 minutes and couldn't any longer. DD was born with no drugs. Next time, if it's too much, I'm getting drugs ASAP

LauraSmarterSpam

maiatene said:

That you can't eat or drink anything until the baby is born no matter how long your labor is. I didn't eat for at least 24 hours and needless to say I was starving. Starving and tired is not a good combination in general, when you have to birth a baby its worse lol.

this time I'm hitting up shake shack before I check in

Yes!! This sucked hardcore. The last thing I'd eaten was dinner at 6:00, and went into L&D the next morning thinking I would just get checked up and we could go get brunch afterwards. I ended up being stuck at L&D until DS was born the following morning. They had a sandwich waiting for me after DS was born. OMG it was the best thing I'd ever eaten. I'm a mustard gal, but they had a packet of mayo. I didn't care, I squeezed that packet all over my sandwich and inhaled it!

Sorry about that rant!
Back to OP's question. Since DS was born early, and was in the NICU I didn't realize I had to pump immediately. I fell asleep and was woken up an hour later by a lactation consultant who asked if I planned on providing breast milk for DS. When I told her yes, she gave me tips and told me that I needed to pump every two hours into order to get milk to come in, and the colostrum is liquid gold.
So yeah if baby is born early, set that alarm clock for every two hours and get to pumping!

AnnH74

This baby is my third one. With my first I waited around until the nurses suggested we try to start nursing. With my second I took the initiative and started within an hour after delivering. I had the experience already. My second nursed better than my first not that my first did horrible. I think getting my second nursing quickly helped. Don't be afraid to start nursing or skin to skin or whatever you plan to do with your baby even if the nurses don't get you going on it. Ask if you need help.

elbou

I discovered this by accident with DS and really wish I had known about it with my DDs!

First some quick background info: after birth, you keep getting contractions to help your uterus shrink back to its normal size...these are referred to as after-pains.

When I got the first after-pain following DS's birth, I wasn't able to take medicine for it (can't remember why...he might have been nursing and it was out of reach...something like that) so I tried firmly massaging the area where the pain was the worst. Turns out, massaging it like that helped pass a blood clot, and once the clot had passed, the pain immediately went away. It was quicker and more effective than pain-killers were with either of my daughters. I tried it again with the next after-pain, and it worked just as good the second time. I didn't need any pain medicine for the first 24 hours after birth thanks to this little trick.

Mizuiro007

I wouldn't wait as long to ask for an epidural this time if I feel I need it. Other than that it's more postpartum stuff. This time I've asked my mom to be with me in the hospital and I'm taking my own nipple balm and not waiting until my nipples are raw and bleeding to start nipple care.

ACarter0914

Be prepared for after! I was young so I didn't really know what I was getting into but make sure you have everything to make you comfy. Being there for a couple days was rough without stuff I really wanted/needed. Plan like your going away for a LONG weekend and bringing home a baby!

What are you using for nipple care @Mizuiro007 I've been thinking about his but I have no idea where to start.

Mizuiro007

@ACarter0914 I tried The Honest Company nipple balm after my son and loved it. It doesn't take much so that little jar goes a long way. I've already been using it lately with my nipples drying and cracking and it's helping. Mostly I like that it's made with natural food-grade ingredients that's safe with baby. I saw recently Bamboobies has a nipple balm that looks similar, or at least has some of the same ingredients.

ACarter0914

Thank you!! I think I'm going to buy myself a jar right now. @Mizuiro007

Ccat1977

I remember thinking there are some things I'm glad I didn't know. I was sort of in a haze - epidural worked great, was exhausted. So happy I couldn't feel the afterbirth or stitches. Sometimes if you know too much all you do is stress about it when there's really nothing you can do. Nipple cream is a good idea - thanks!

rdilts

I didn't know that you weren't allowed to walk around after you got an epidural. This time, I am going to try to go without one. After I got my epidural last time I had to lay in bed for another 18 hours. YUCK!

KRH6829

rdilts said:

I didn't know that you weren't allowed to walk around after you got an epidural. This time, I am going to try to go without one. After I got my epidural last time I had to lay in bed for another 18 hours. YUCK!

I am really surprised by this and not sure if that is the norm. As soon as my son was born and they were done stitching up some tearing down there they shut my epidural off. I was up and walking in about an hour and that was encouraged by the doctor and nurses at the hospital. That would have been horrible to have to stay in bed for that long!

rmarie13

I think she means the time between the epidural and labor.

discohiker

The emotional let down and feeling of disappointment after induction,labor, and 20 hours of pain when I was told I'd have to have a c-section. I could barely breathe I cried so hard.

tetchy

You bleed for many weeks after a c section.  I thought that bleeding would just be for vaginal births.  I thought they cleaned you out like a pumpkin during the c section.

stickybun14

Would you start using nipple balm whilst still pregnant at all? If I use it and prep my nips will it make them less likely to crack and bleed during breastfeeding? Stupid question?

Thanks @Mizuiro007 I've just looked up that brand online and I can get in Australia!

Mizuiro007

@stickybun14 You're welcome. I'm always glad to be of some help when I can.

Prep shouldn't really be necessary. However that's not to say you can't start using it. Like I said in a previous post, my nipples have already started cracking so I've been using it. If I didn't need it I doubt I'd bother yet.

armywife8289

Wish I was told about all my drug options for birth. Like if I were to vomit uncontrollably to no end what they could give me besides an epidural. I was a 10+ in pain due to vomiting, I was a 4-6 in labor contractions at 8.5 cm... I am upset at the stuff the epidural did to my bladder

Alyssaerin996

Just popping in to say I'm so grateful you're all willing to share! I'm fascinated (and a little obsessed) with the whole process and gathering as much info as I can before I go in in a few months!

Holdmomma

maiatene said:

That you can't eat or drink anything until the baby is born no matter how long your labor is. I didn't eat for at least 24 hours and needless to say I was starving. Starving and tired is not a good combination in general, when you have to birth a baby its worse lol.

this time I'm hitting up shake shack before I check in

I'm thinking my experience was not the norm, but my L&D nurse did not limit my food intake. In fact she told me that the standard food options weren't very good and encouraged me to order a meal from the menu, like room service in a hotel. I checked in at 9:00am had my baby by 6:30 pm and was served breakfast lunch and dinner in that time span. I was induced, but did not have pain meds or an epidural. Plus I think they figured I was low risk for a c-section so maybe that's why...

If you are offered food, or eat before you go to the hospital I would not recommend eating anything heavy or greasy...like French fries. The pain from labor can cause nausea and eating a rich meal will ahead of time will make it more uncomfortable.

Mizuiro007

Holdmomma said:

maiatene said:

That you can't eat or drink anything until the baby is born no matter how long your labor is. I didn't eat for at least 24 hours and needless to say I was starving. Starving and tired is not a good combination in general, when you have to birth a baby its worse lol.

this time I'm hitting up shake shack before I check in

I'm thinking my experience was not the norm, but my L&D nurse did not limit my food intake. In fact she told me that the standard food options weren't very good and encouraged me to order a meal from the menu, like room service in a hotel. I checked in at 9:00am had my baby by 6:30 pm and was served breakfast lunch and dinner in that time span. I was induced, but did not have pain meds or an epidural. Plus I think they figured I was low risk for a c-section so maybe that's why...

If you are offered food, or eat before you go to the hospital I would not recommend eating anything heavy or greasy...like French fries. The pain from labor can cause nausea and eating a rich meal will ahead of time will make it more uncomfortable.

I think it may depend on procedure where you deliver. I delivered in a birthing center attached to a hospital and they allow anything you can call a liquid. I had a lot of orange jello.

kaitykins

My hospital allows food and fluids unless you are high risk for c section and something about if you have an epidural.

stickybun14

I was talking to my mum about the no eating. She said when I'm in labour eating is the last thing I'll want to do. I told her I was upset that she clearly doesn't know me well enough to know how food obsessed I am.

redfallon

All I wanted to do was sleep. I didn't care about food during labor. I was so tired.

Alyssaerin996

Did anyone prepare themselves for the worst and wind up thinking it wasn't THAT bad? I'm genuinely curious if that is ever the case...

Magnolia+Mama

I really wish someone had encouraged me to avoid visitors in the hospital. My parents came for about 2 hours and then DH's parents came directly afterwards. DD slept the entire time they were with us and we should have been resting rather than entertaining. When they were gone it was time to feed, pump, and the whole routine. We were exhausted and I wish I had kicked them all out. Next time!!

redfallon

@Magnolia+Mama said:

I really wish someone had encouraged me to avoid visitors in the hospital. My parents came for about 2 hours and then DH's parents came directly afterwards. DD slept the entire time they were with us and we should have been resting rather than entertaining. When they were gone it was time to feed, pump, and the whole routine. We were exhausted and I wish I had kicked them all out. Next time!!

I didn't want any visitors in the hospital when DD was born. In-laws came, anyway. Thank goodness they didn't stay very long. I don't have bad relations with them, but I didn't want anyone there in our first hours.

I don't feel that I'm that worried about it this time. We've asked SIL to come up and stay with DD while I am laboring. It's going to be around Christmas, too. I don't want to have a party in my room, but I'm ok with visitors this time.

blansaw

A gift someone gave me in private at my baby shower was an "after birth kit" It had extra large period pads, hemorrhoid pads (they sooth the area down there after delivery, best things to have handy), a package of cheap Hanes underwear that could be thrown away if they get dirty, breast pads, and a bunch of other items. I used every one of them.  Bless her, because I know I didn't feel like going to the store, and I had no idea I would need such things.  

Mizuiro007

blansaw said:

A gift someone gave me in private at my baby shower was an "after birth kit" It had extra large period pads, hemorrhoid pads (they sooth the area down there after delivery, best things to have handy), a package of cheap Hanes underwear that could be thrown away if they get dirty, breast pads, and a bunch of other items. I used every one of them.  Bless her, because I know I didn't feel like going to the store, and I had no idea I would need such things.  

I was so grateful after DS that I have a husband that isn't bothered by buying that stuff for me. Then he figured out the local CVS has a clinic and the lady from the clinic helped him pick out a bunch of stuff and it was all so helpful. Including these long, narrow flexible ice packs. I used those so much.

Rratledge

Alyssaerin996 said:

Did anyone prepare themselves for the worst and wind up thinking it wasn't THAT bad? I'm genuinely curious if that is ever the case...

My first delivery was surprisingly fun! I was really scared leading up to it. My doctor decided that I needed to be induced. Once the contractions started to get uncomfortable, the nurses suggested an epidural if I wanted one. Once that kicked in, I had no more pain. When it was time to push, the nurse took a towel and she and I played tug of war to help me push harder/better. I did tear a little and had an episiotomy, but I didn't even notice. Of course there were unpleasant things - having my water broken by the doctor when I was not at all dialated was very painful, but once that was over, the rest was great! I hope everyone can have a similarly pleasant birth (including me for the second time)!

sassysister18

I was able to eat through my labour with my son, I saying that though, once it was in full swing it was the last thing I felt like doing!!

littleSkittle14

That sometimes a c section IS medically necessary, and it's not the end of the world.

I definitely subscribed to the idea "my body was made to do this, there's no way I'm going to have a Csection". I was so naive. Ended up with an emergency c section... And my beautiful daughter!

It's great to have a birth plan, but don't expect things to go perfectly just because you write it down

inkbee1

I remember at some point looking at DH and saying I can't do this...then an hour later (and this is after about 8 hours of labor) I had my son. Thinking back on it all--even the delivery, the tearing, the stitches, the sore nipples all without pain meds--it doesn't really seem like it was that bad. I mean, I'm having another one lol

inkbee1

Also, a couple hours after I delivered was the first time I realized how hungry I was. I didn't think about food or water the whole time, although I vaguely remember DH making me drink water throughout. Then I remember being more hungry than I have ever experienced a couple hours after delivery and thankfully where I had my son, they had a snack fridge so I asked the nurse (I was in tears by then) for something to eat and she gave me a sandwich and let me know when breakfast would be there as well

Birthinrox

Eating and drinking during labor really depends on your provider. Many midwives (and some OBs) encourage you to drink and eat as your body dictates during labor. Many favorite midwife's rule was "don't eat anything you don't want to see coming back up". I ate hard boiled eggs, watermelon, bananas, and drank coconut water throughout my labor. I didn't throw up either.
As for the person who asked what we thought labor was like after compared to before. I didn't think it was that bad. In a way it felt exactly as I expected it to. My advice is appreciate the breaks between contractions! I did it without an epidural and ended up getting IV narcotics for therapeutic rest. That allowed me to rest and begin coping better. I'm so glad I didn't get an epidural, my son was 9lbs 6oz and I really think being able to move and change positions helped bring him down.