Lost my baby girl:(

mamalucy15

8.9.15 at 21w6d I gave birth to my first child Luna I miss her so much there wasn't anything the doctors could do since my umbilical cord slipped out and there was no fluid I still blame myself even though I know there was nothing I could do at that point my heart aches so bad they said she was healthy and I was healthy I just don't understand and I know so many women go through this but I can't help but ask "why my baby" after two years of trying I finally got to be a mommy and now I feel so alone even with my husband by my side. Friday we will have her services and I fear I'll break down in front of everyone because they keep telling me "it's okay your young you'll have more" i feel angry when they say this I don't know If that's normal...

valleric

I heard that too. After trying for 1 year. I mc at 9w. That's the last thing you want to hear!

DrKariC

I agree that's the absolute worst thing to say - it disregards your grief completely and I think it's so rude.

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. Don't force yourself to be nice to anyone that makes you feel worse during this time. If they say something that hurts, you can remove yourself or just say a simple "I know you mean well but a more helpful thing to say is 'sorry for your loss' I'm not ready to move on to thinking about more kids right now." I can't imagine how difficult this must be, as my miscarriage happened very early and I still feel a lot of grief. Lean on people you feel comfortable with and be kind to yourself. I'm so sorry.

adrimolina

I am so very sorry for your loss. I have had 2 consecutive losses and people´s comments bother be so much even though they mean well, but most are so hurtful. Please don´t blame yourself, sending you love and strength.

mamalucy15

Thank you for the replys it really does help talking to others who can sympathize or have been through the same trauma I know my family and friends mean well but there comments are unnecessary and I will tell them kindly I don't appreciate some of there comments I love my daughter and I will never replace her. I'm sorry for your losses as well no matter how early or late in pregnancy it's always difficult to lose your precious baby.

nram25

I know exactly how you're feeling because I was once you 3 years ago when I lost my baby girls at 23wks. It was devastating because it was my first pregnancy as well. There's not a day that goes by that I don't miss them and I still visit their graves. My little angels are in heaven now watching over me and their unborn brother and sister. Losing a baby or babies is indeed a hard pill to swallow and until anyone has walked in your shoes they'll never know how you truly feel and there's not much they can say. Grieve as much as you need and I promise better days are to come. Sorry for your lost and Praying for your strength.

whit3183

I am so, so sorry for your loss No one should ever make comments like that to you -- saying you'll have more kids someday is rude, insensitive, and it fails to take into account the enormous loss you have had. Don't worry about breaking down in front of people, and don't worry about lashing out at those who make insensitive comments.  You have been through one of the hardest losses ever, and you should be able to grieve without judgment.