Pregnant after a Loss

The panic is setting in!

just booked my first prenatal apt and they aren't available to accommodate me until I am 9 weeks. 9 weeks is when my second miscarriage was confirmed in May. How do I settle these nerves and panic until that apt? I'm freaking out. That's a long ways to go just HOPING for everything to be ok with this baby.

Re: The panic is setting in!

  • Hey girl. I feel for you. I am freaking myself. Is there anyone else you think you might be able to get in with? Or tell them to put you on a list if something opens up sooner?? The waiting is misery!!!
  • Apparently my provider has changed the way they do first prenatal apts and they include your US, genetic testing options and lab work at the first apt. They won't even have me do blood work before. I explained that I just had my second loss in May and it was just brushed aside like it was no big deal.
    I wanted to try and keep it from family to surprise them after the dr since they've been through so much loss and sadness with me but now I'm thinking I need their support. :(
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  • That sucks. They should be more understanding! I know what you mean, i've been feeling the same way. This is so hard to deal with especially with little to no support.
  • It certainly seems odd that they won't see you sooner given your history. I know it's a pain but maybe look into new doctors or even a high risk doc.
    Married 7/20/13
    #1 MC August 2014 @ 5 Weeks
    #2 MC November 2014 @ 5 Weeks
    #3 EDD 2.17.16


    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Thanks @borgahurst
    I'm in CA and have Kaiser- they gave me the whole "protocol" spiel. Not sure how to go about going around that.
  • Is that the front desk telling you that, or the actual nurse/doctor. The front office staff can be a pain in the ass. When I thought they were ignoring me I spoke with the on call OB nurse who agreed I need to at least get early lab work.
  • Yes, @ash413 it was the receptionist. I had previously emailed my dr who told me to just treat this as a normal pregnancy and come in between 7-10 weeks for my first visit. I understand there's not much they can do to ease my mind but that's not comforting. Even my husband doesn't understand why I'd want to be seen earlier. He said "wouldn't it be great to go in at 9 weeks and hear everything is great?". And yes, that would be nice but it's 4 weeks away! How do I settle myself down for 4 more weeks. Darn those losses- they've ruined the pregnancy magic for me. :(
  • Is there anyway a clinic or something would just do labs for you?? I can't believe they aren't willing to check your hcg just to ease your mind if nothing else. This is so tough. You think they could have some compassion.
  • I'm so sorry! The waiting is awful! Would you be willing to switch practices? I had one MMC and my midwife let me do blood work and come in at 7 weeks. While that didnt fix the anxiety, it did help.
  • I can switch doctors within my practice but they all just treat you like a number until you're farther along. It's a super frustrating system of doctors with too many patients. Do you think it's worth me asking for a 48hr blood draw to see my levels or not subject myself to that added stress. I'm at a loss.
  • Is there any other OB practice you can see?
  • No, not that my insurance will cover
  • I think the betas helped me calm down a bit (at least I knew it wasn't chemical). I started worrying again very quickly after but I also started worrying again after my 7 & 11 week appointments (and I got good genetic screener results at 11 weeks). My 15 week appointment is Thursday and I'm still worried (though calmer than before). It's so hard not to be anxious--I'm so sorry! I wish there was something to do for the anxiety, but I don't have any suggestions really. Going for walks helped a bit. As well as imagining punching people who told me not to worry :D
  • If you feel like it would make you less anxious, request the draw. It does add some anxiety, but also a little relief if they are good. I know you have a while to wait for your US so if youthink it will help you with the wait do it. Good luck! Hugs
  • Ok ladies, I emailed my doc regarding having my blood drawn sooner than my labs in 4 weeks. As well as asking for any suggestions she may have on making it through these next 4 weeks relatively calmly!
  • I feel your pain but I'm at 8 weeks now and have had 2 midwife appts, bloods and 1us. I'm irritable and horrible and stressed. So stressed. This is my 3rd pg. 2nd mc was earlier this year. Have another us on Friday morning before work. Thinking of you all.
  • I spoke with my OB. She said she doesn't feel as though blood draws are necessary for me. She said while they are helpful to detect an abnormal pregnancy- they do not show if you're going to miscarry. Her advice is to stay well hydrated and rested and watch out for bleeding or worsening cramping.
    So... Bring on 4 weeks of freaking out.
  • Ugh. I'm so sorry! So much waiting with babies. The waiting is awful.
  • Ugh it sucks they just see you as a number. I am sorry. Have you looked to see if there are any ultrasound schools in the area that do free ultrasounds so the students get experience? There is one somewhere by me that I know people have gone to for extra ultrasounds. Idk how you even go about looking for that. I hope the next 4 weeks fly by for you.
  • Thanks @rachrobertson. I'll look into that! Hadn't even thought of it.
    Ok, so because I'm a nervous wreck I decided I would just become a POAS addict until my apt. This morning my first response test looks weird. I slightly freaked. (I'll attach a pic) but the test line is super dark and appeared immediately. The control line is super faint and took a while to appear. I barely had to pee so my sample was small... And I feel as though the dark line is in the center, not the left side. The pic is: top test 13DPO and the bottom test is today at 5w1d. I also took a Clearblue that said 2-3 weeks this morning.
    I'm going CRAZY!
  • Sorry, here's the pic.
  • I have read somewhere that there is only so much ink in those. So, if you have a higher amount of hormone that makes the test line darker, it takes away from the control line. So, I would take the weird lines as a positive. And those stupid clearblue tests that tell you how many weeks were only right for me like 10dpo, after that, they were always behind. You have every right to feel and act like a crazy woman. It is hard to not have control over something so close to you. I was 14 weeks yesterday and have only recently started feeling like we get to bring this baby home because he is finally big enough to find with my home Doppler pretty easy. So, I only let myself check every other day to keep me sane. But, up until now, I was the crazy lady. ;)
  • ☺️ thanks. It's ridiculous how obsessive I am but since I have absolutely zero control (and zero symptoms) I'll do anything for a little reassurance. And a home Doppler? That's awesome! Probably won't come in handy until 12ish weeks?
    I'm so happy for you. And really soon- the squirming and wiggling will be extra reassurance for you!
  • I had a wicked POAS addiction with both FRERs and Wondfos. I definitely got to the point where the tests started lightening (I think over 20 or so...I still have them at home I think. So I'm also a hoarder) because of the hook effect. After I got the lighter test, I diluted the urine (very unscientifically because I was freaked out--so I just put some tap water in and dipped a new test) and it went to being darker than the control again! Maybe try that?
  • Plleriti1 said:

    Thanks @rachrobertson. I'll look into that! Hadn't even thought of it.
    Ok, so because I'm a nervous wreck I decided I would just become a POAS addict until my apt. This morning my first response test looks weird. I slightly freaked. (I'll attach a pic) but the test line is super dark and appeared immediately. The control line is super faint and took a while to appear. I barely had to pee so my sample was small... And I feel as though the dark line is in the center, not the left side. The pic is: top test 13DPO and the bottom test is today at 5w1d. I also took a Clearblue that said 2-3 weeks this morning.
    I'm going CRAZY!

    The clear blue is 2-3 weeks since ovulation which is equivalent to around 5 weeks pregnant.
    And there us a huge range for those
    1-2 = hcg up to 199
    2-3 = hcg 200-1999
    3+ = hcg greater than 2000.

    However, it is based on the hcg in your urine, which is obviously lower than if you got a blood draw.

    You can go to "any lab test now" and for $50 they will do a beta HCG, if your OB isn't. You don't need a doctor's order.
  • @Plleriti1 how are you making it? Nerves any better?
  • @ALC08 actually yes, slightly. I did have the tiniest bit of spotting today after a workout class but I'm not really worried about that. I confided in my sister and a girlfriend so having them to talk to helps. My husband is kinda closed off about this baby given our loss history. And I've committed to only POAS once a week now until my apt just for confirmation that I'm still pregnant. How are you?
  • Glad you've been able to feel a bit more settled. I'm ok. Symptoms seem to come and go, new ones appear. I've had a little nausea the last few days. Not terrible but just enough to make me feel bad and mess w my appetite. The nurse told me for some women they wax and wain so i am trying not to worry myself sick. There's nothing i can do anyway. Just trying to hang in there until next monday. I think hopefully by then we will have a better idea whether or not we'll make it. Hoping for a great heartbeat and a little relief, but i know that may not happen. Trying to stay positive.
  • I completely get it. And I'm hoping for a healthy strong heartbeat for you also! Why does this have to be so terrifying? When's your due date?
  • Thank you! Idk but it is! My app says i'm due april 21st. When is yours?
  • Same!!! Lol! So it must be a great day!
  • Similar case for me, @Plleriti1 ! Have to wait till next Wednesday to get an ultrasound. HCG level was rising last week but I have no symptoms to calm my nerves!
  • Best wishes to you @Skydance
    With my daughters pregnancy I had zero symptoms pretty much the whole time! Some of us are just blessed like that! (And as I say that I'm feeling a little extra queasy this morning. Hopefully it passes soon!)
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