My baby will only sleep if I hold her!!

ginabeanz

I need some suggestions please! My daughter (3 months) slept in her crib for about an 1 1/2 hours last night, the longest stretch was 30 minutes before she woke up. I put her in there sleeping that's the only way she would sleep if she was up she cried. I had her upper body swaddled because she's too long to swaddle her whole body and when I'd lay her down she would wave her arms around and wake up ( that's why just her arms are swaddled). After I did that it was much easier for her to sleep in the crib. I have a white noise machine going too. I don't want to do the cry it out. So when she'd cry I would try to comfort her and if that didn't work (if she was crying) id pick her up. This went on until 3 am. Right now she'll only sleep if I hold her. We started at 10 pm. Any suggestions are appreciated ☺️

lynnewells

Try an earlier bed time. My dd did the same if we started bed time any later than 8pm

ginabeanz

Ok we've been trying to move up her bed time. She was going to sleep around 11:30. When I try around 8 or 9 she wakes up after 30 minutes. We have a bedtime routine and it seems if we start before 9:15 she just lays there with her eyes open... I want her to get to sleep earlier!!

xuxachi

What does the rest of the day look like?

ginabeanz

She typically wakes up eats then plays for an hour then naps but only in my arms. She naps anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours. We have a pretty consistent bedtime routine also.

xuxachi

Hum, well it sounds like she's overtired at night since she's not settling well. I would aim for a ful 12 hours at night, like 7 to 7, then around 3 naps during the day of about 1.5 to 2 hours. I put my DS down for sleep no more than 2 hours from when he wakes including feedings - a bit less in the AM and longer as the day goes on. He goes to bed around 8 and sleeps until 8ish (or I wake him up since I have to get my other kids off to camp or whatever and I personally find it easier for everyone to start my day at the same time every day.) I do a "dreamfeed" at around 10:30 before I go to bed and then my guy is still waking around 4:30/5:00 most nights. Sounds like you've got a good routine and by now you should be able to wean the swaddle - one arm at a time. Maybe some light rocking to get her sleeping and then maybe put your hands on her arms/belly for several minutes until she settles at bit - no eye contact. If she's in the sweet spot for sleep (not too overtired but sleepy enough) then she should drift off to sleep. It's all about getting the timing right. That's my $0.02 without knowing the specifics of your situation.

ginabeanz

So last night we put her in her crib sleepy but not sleeping starting at 9:20. When she cried we patted her back and sang or shhhed. If that didn't work we would pick her up. In between she was crying pretty hard. But finally at 12 she was sleeping. Then she woke up 45 minutes later. Around 1 I got her to sleep again. She stayed in her crib and I only got her out once to feed her she just kept getting upset every 30-45 minutes so as soon as I almost fell asleep she was waking up. This went on until 5 am. I just held her and she slept in my arms until 7. Then she was up for the day. But I do think it got easier throughout the night. I also think we kind of started over again since last night we put her down sleepy and not sleeping like we did the night before. I'm trying to move her bedtime up. Before she was not falling asleep until 11:30.

lmk115

We did the Ferber method and it worked beautifully. I think it gets a bad name, you are not letting your baby cry helplessly. You go in to calm them, increasing the amount of time one between. The key is that when calming them, you do NOT pick them up. Our baby boy was used to being rocked to sleep, so we had to break that sleep association. Once he could learn to fall asleep without being rocked to sleep, he also could learn to fall back asleep when he woke in the night. This is the skill that was most important for him to learn, since at 4 months, their sleep patterns change and become more adult like, with REM cycles that include longer periods of lighter sleep. This is what cause the 4 month regression, babies begin to sleep lighter and wake much more frequently. I highly recommend that you buy and read the book. Knowing the reasoning behind the whole method was key for me. My husband wasn't thrilled with letting him cry until he read the book and understood the reasoning.

smilesallaround

I am starting the baby whisperer method today. I absolutely love the book and am hoping it will work for my son. Best of luck to you.

ginabeanz

I read the Baby Whisperer too. That's what I'm trying out but we modified it alittle with the singing. Hope it works

cam12345

I follow baby whisperer too Gina and I just want to give a heads up that singing may stimulate the baby, or you could be creating some accidental parenting in that they will rely on the sound of your voice to fall asleep. Just a thought!

katkik

It's just like if you keep a radio on while you go to bed...it promotes your brain to a weird awake listening state...so I would recommend dim lights if any light at all...and no singing and do the diaper change before the baby sleeps...then don't do a diaper change till she is wide awake in the morning unless you heard her make a massive poop. That's what I'd recommend

azadir

Do you think you might have hit the 4 month sleep regression? It's normally around 14-16 weeks that it starts. I'm still going through it myself but at its worse last week I was getting up hour on the hour to resettle or feed.

ginabeanz

Yes I think it's the 4 month sleep regression. Naps are starting to get disturbed too

ginabeanz

Each night is worse. She's even restless if I let her sleep in my arms...

kpribilski22

Have you tried a sleep sack or a woombie? They work great for me. Stick to your routine. It will get better.

ginabeanz

How long have you been going through the sleep regression azadir? It seems like it's been going on for 2 weeks now

azadir

I'm on my third week now. Occasionally she will have a night the same as she was before the regression. The other nights are still bad but less intense. Maybe every 2-3 hours a wake up. When I get a good night I thInk it's over but then the next night it's bad again. I hope it ends soon. They say it can take up to 6 weeks! Hang in there Gina! Some babies are more sensitive than others... We can only do our best. I'm doing this with you! We can wake them up at 4:00 am when they are teenagers!

JMCnina

Hi ginabeanz, I'm interested in knowing how it's going with you! My LO was sleeping through the night until the 4 month regression. I feel the most challeng part of this regression (waking up every 45-60min.) lasted a month and now she is sleeping much better. She would also ONLY sleep in our arms until we started the baby whisperer method. Now she can sleep in her crib!! I just stay with her with my hand under her (on her back) and shushing until she is in a deep sleep- usually 10 min. She seems to be waking and fussing every 2 hrs or so, but is able to fall back to sleep on her own. I try to wait to make sure she needs the help to fall back to sleep. For the last couple nights, I've only had to shush without patting from bed (her crib is in our room). Anyway, I hope things are better for you and your LO!!