After two years and two months of TTC (me-PCOS DH-low morphology) I finally got my BFP on June 30th after my final round of clomid and IUI. Unlike other people I don't get excited to test after the TWW, honestly I dread it. Seeing that one line month after month kills me. Anyways, when I saw that faint second line I didn't believe it. I googled false positives...I even called the number on the box to see if I did it right (even though I've obviously taken them a zillion times). After each beta it became more and more exciting for me. I was thrilled, scared and an array of other emotions I can't even name. Then at my third viability scan my biggest fear was recognized. My baby had stopped growing. On Monday I was told I should be nine weeks, but my baby had stopped growing at six weeks and died. Yesterday I miscarried.
I feel so lost and alone. My dh is so optimistic still and to be honest it's kind of annoying that I'm grieving so deeply and he doesn't appear to be. Our next step on our infertility path wad IVF, but I'm plagued with fear that I'll lose the next baby too or that it will fail.
I'm not even sure what I want to hear, but I know I don't want people to keep telling me I'll get pregnant again and I'll get a baby. First off because they don't know that and neither do I. Second off that doesn't change that I had a baby and it died.
Married February 2012
TTC 2 years 4 months
Diagnosis: PCOS and dh low morphology
1 MC at 9 weeks
Re: Back so soon (BFP and loss mentioned)
Me: 31
DH: 29, SA - Great
Married: June 12,2011
TTC #1: 1/2014
Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea
Treatment: Clomid: 50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored
Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI IUI #1 8/31/2015
9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!