Gender Neutral Baby Gifts — The Bump
Baby Showers

Gender Neutral Baby Gifts

Is this rude? On the back of the invitation I'm putting 'Though we are expecting a girl, we would prefer gender neutral items for preparations sake if you decide to gift us.' I just feel like it's rude to ask for specific things as gifts but I don't trust my gender determination! And I want to be prepared
«1

Re: Gender Neutral Baby Gifts

  • I personally don't think it's rude. But that's just me.
  • Ehhh I don't think it's rude, but it isn't polite either? That's the best way I could phrase that I guess. Have you announced that you are having a girl yet? Are you having a registry? Maybe only put gender neutral things on it. I've seen that done. 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    je5sc0Erinka
  • I haven't, we were told she was a boy at first too, part of the reason for my apprehension, but Dad has told his family. The gender neutral registry is a great idea though! @ChiccoBeanz
  • You should avoid telling anyone what you think the gender is along with having a gender neutral shower & invites.
  • I would also find it rude. Put neutral items on your registry and call it a day.
    LFAF October Signature Challange
    image
    image
    fwtx5815missemmawoodhouseSassenach1743
  • Yes it would be impolite to dictate to your guests what kind of gifts to buy you. You do have some control though, as others said, you can register for only gender neutral items and you can return anything you receive that's super girly. I'd also recommend that the host not put anything about the baby's sex on the invite. (I assume someone else is hosting this shower for you?)
    LFAF Awards
                       

    me: 27 | husband: 35
    IR PCOS  dx Sept. 2014

    married May 2015 --> started NTNP
    BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16 
    baby #1 born 2.19.16 

    TTC #2 in April 2017
    BFP 12.30.17 - EDD 9.6.18


       Fertility Friend Chart
  • GingerTurtlesGingerTurtles
    250 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited August 2015
    Yes, it's rude. It's attempting to dictate what gifts are given. If you want gender-neutral gifts, register for gender-neutral gifts. 
  • @fxtx5815 no I will be hosting my own. There's no one to host it for me and if I am never given this opportunity again I would like to have one.
  • @fxtx5815 no I will be hosting my own. There's no one to host it for me and if I am never given this opportunity again I would like to have one.

    I apologize if this comes off as prying, but I am trying to get the full context of your situation. Why is this the only opportunity for you to have a baby shower? Is that by choice?
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • @wassuphoes yes I know many people feel that way. But I want to have a shower so i'm not going to let lack of support keep me from enjoying and celebrating my pregnancy because people feel like it's more polite to do things one way as opposed to another
  • @ChiccoBeanz I never said it was the only opportunity, I said it *could* be
  • @ChiccoBeanz I never said it was the only opportunity, I said it *could* be

    Sorry, I totally misread that. Well bottom line, the note you want to put on the back is rude. Just put gender neutral items on your registry. People will by you what they choose to by you. If they ask what you want you can direct them to your registry and then they have an entire list to choose from. That should make things easier for you. Have a happy and healthy pregnancy, and a beautiful healthy baby.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    brianambriggs
  • I would just stick to gender neutral shower invites along with anything you register for being gender neutral (if you're going to register). Enjoy your shower & your baby. Don't let this ladies get to you. Good luck Momma!
  • FWIW, many people consider it rude to host your own shower. 


    Maybe a sip and see after the baby is born would be more appropriate.
    This.
  • I would deliberately buy pink or blue clothes if I received an invitation for a shower with that sort of note.  Trying to dictate what people will buy for you is beyond tacky, but then so is throwing your own shower.
    Me: 30 DH: 35 
    TTC #1 - Jan 2015
    BFP on 5/13/15
    DD born 1/24/16
    TTC #2 - Jun 2017
    BFP on 8/24/17
    Anniversary 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    DylansCandyBarfwtx5815missemmawoodhouseSassenach1743
  • I would deliberately buy pink or blue clothes if I received an invitation for a shower with that sort of note.  Trying to dictate what people will buy for you is beyond tacky, but then so is throwing your own shower.


    I would do this also. But I would monogram it so it couldn't be returned.

    On second thought, I wouldn't be attending a baby showers that an expectant mom throw for herself.  So I wouldn't be buying a gift at all.

    BabyFruit Ticker


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    kmcc14fwtx5815missemmawoodhouse
  • Since the purpose of a shower is to 'shower' the mother-to-be with gifts & welcoming her to motherhood, no you should not be throwing your own shower.

    This is the equivalent of flat out asking your friends and family to buy you stuff. The offer to throw a shower is a GIFT in itself from the host, a shower is not something that we as pregnant women are entitled to. Not everyone gets a shower, that's life. Babies can be celebrated after they're born, and people actually get to meet them.

    The money you'll have to spend to provide food and drink appropriate for the time day for this shower should be put toward buying baby items yourself. It's nobody else's responsibility to provide things for your baby.

    Nobody has ever come up with a valid reason for why they should be throwing their own shower.
    LFAF Awards
                       

    me: 27 | husband: 35
    IR PCOS  dx Sept. 2014

    married May 2015 --> started NTNP
    BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16 
    baby #1 born 2.19.16 

    TTC #2 in April 2017
    BFP 12.30.17 - EDD 9.6.18


       Fertility Friend Chart
    kmcc14wassuphoes
  • Okay thank you for turning this post into a bash OP session when she was clearly trying to make sure she did not offend anyone by stating the above! I'm spending a great amount of money on my shower and the gifts that I would be receiving from people who would not gift me otherwise with be equivalent or less than the amount i'm spending. As stated there is NO ONE TO THROW MY SHOWER. But I appreciate the bash session as if it will make me change my mind. By all means, judge and bash on. Because it definitely makes a difference if I 'ask for gifts' myself or have someone else 'ask for gifts' for me. Seriously. Thanks.
    cmcweeney
  • Like if not one person bought gifts I promise it would make me no difference. I'm not begging for gifts or struggling by any means.
  • dufferoodufferoo
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    member
    edited August 2015
    I'm just curious @brianambriggs how there can be no one to throw your shower. Don't you have a single female friend or even co-worker? Those are usually the people who would usually offer to throw a shower.
    DylansCandyBar
  • I have no friends. The father of my child is not in my life and I have no family besides extended family I literally never speak to and close family members are estranged so thank you for making me list out more reasons why my life is in shambles. All I asked was for opinions on a specific matter because I had no one else to ask and I am getting judged and bashed. Bravo.
  • So who is invited to the shower? What they are trying to say is if you are friendly enough to invite someone to a shower and they would give you a gift then I would think they could "host" or at least pretend to host the shower. I joined a few mommy meetup groups recently and made friends with the people in the group pretty quickly. They host showers for anyone in the group. Maybe there is a single mom group or something you could check into on the meetup app. The groups offer a lot of support. It's great to see what other moms are doing and learn about fun activities to do in the area. Also, maybe join a church or temple (whatever religion) is a good place for support from caring people.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I've been following this and I too am genuinely curious who would be attending if you have no friends and extended family far away. I'm sorry you are in that situation. PP who suggested the mommy groups had a great idea. I have also met great people through the meet up app- although mine is a group for walking dogs.
    kmcc14
  • I have no friends. The father of my child is not in my life and I have no family besides extended family I literally never speak to and close family members are estranged so thank you for making me list out more reasons why my life is in shambles. All I asked was for opinions on a specific matter because I had no one else to ask and I am getting judged and bashed. Bravo.

    Well that sucks, but in this case, I certainly don't think "we" is the proper pronoun to be used on your shower invite.
    JessicaS0914
  • JessicaS0914JessicaS0914
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited August 2015
    I have no friends. The father of my child is not in my life and I have no family besides extended family I literally never speak to and close family members are estranged so thank you for making me list out more reasons why my life is in shambles. All I asked was for opinions on a specific matter because I had no one else to ask and I am getting judged and bashed. Bravo.

    Now I'm calling total BS on this post. You started off and continue to say "we". Who is the other party have this child if the dad is not in the picture? It's physically impossible to spend a 'great amount of money' on your own shower with no guests unless you are planning on buying a lot of decor and food for an empty room. I'm sorry if you feel unsupported by your loved ones in your pregnancy, but you're just not maki any logical sense.

    So to answer your original post - no, don't put anything on invites requesting specific gifts from all the people you DONT have in your life?
    DylansCandyBarfwtx5815missemmawoodhouseSassenach1743
  • BS? Who are you people to lie to. That's classic. I'm not going to continue to entertain this post so you all be blessed.
  • But I'm still so confused.  I'm sorry about the having no friends thing but if that's the case, then who is coming to your shower?  This is where I'm lost.

    You're going to do what you want to do but I hope you at least know that there are many people, perhaps even some of the people you are planning to invite, that will find this whole thing to be really rude and tacky.  If there is no one to throw you a shower, then you don't get one.  Plain and simple.  It's not a right nor an entitlement, it's a gift.
    Because fall

    image
    kmcc14wassuphoesfwtx5815missemmawoodhouse
  • Although I'm in Australia and not seen as rude to host your own baby shower, I personally would never do it. I'm hosting a small get together at a high tea with around 5 people and clearly stipulated that it is not a baby shower, instead just a small get together.I actually hate receiving gifts, so hoping that by saying its not a baby shower will indicate that I don't want gifts although I think most people will.
  • Okay thank you for turning this post into a bash OP session when she was clearly trying to make sure she did not offend anyone by stating the above! I'm spending a great amount of money on my shower and the gifts that I would be receiving from people who would not gift me otherwise with be equivalent or less than the amount i'm spending. As stated there is NO ONE TO THROW MY SHOWER. But I appreciate the bash session as if it will make me change my mind. By all means, judge and bash on. Because it definitely makes a difference if I 'ask for gifts' myself or have someone else 'ask for gifts' for me. Seriously. Thanks.

    Who is this "she" you are referring to? Aren't YOU the OP?

    If your life truly is in shambles like you claim, then maybe you should be focusing your time and energy on fixing that before your baby comes rather than planning your own shower?

     

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards