Visitors Now??? — The Bump
September 2015 Moms

Visitors Now???

With just a few weekends left until the due date, my husbands two best friends want to visit.....I don't have the energy to entertain people and spend two weekends entertaining guests. I need all the time I can get to finish up the nursery and the last of our purchases. I don't know how people can think it's acceptable to visit the WEEKEND BEFORE MY DUE DATE....nothing is for certain yet, but my husband is going to need to speak up and say that it's not the best time for us right now. It blows my mind how people can't figure that out on their own though....

Re: Visitors Now???

  • I think unless someone has been or is pregnant, they don't understand the exhaustion or need for organization. I hear you on not wanting them. However, maybe they're just trying to squeeze some time in visiting before your lives completely change. I know we have been trying to see people we might not see for a while with a newborn and toddler at home. I'd say either say no or let your husband take care of entertaining completely. Remember you might not be able to see people in the same way you saw them before.
    starryblue04Knottie26995154aavila18serenityuy01
  • starryblue04starryblue04 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Photogenic First Answer
    edited July 2015
    That's completely true - they're really nice people and just want to spend time with us before life changes, although one of them has a baby and should understand..... I'm just anxious about all of the things that still need to get done and how little time we have to finish it all!
    rebeccabloomwoodaavila18serenityuy01
  • I think it's funny how people don't realize they're overstepping or not using their common sense, if they're truly good friends I'm sure if your hubby says something they'll understand, they honestly probably don't realize
    starryblue04
  • I second @Boobopgirl tell them you're super excited for them to come so you have a ton of hands to help get al the work done. And thank them for their hard work in advanced! Also ask them they will be in charge of some meals to take the stress off you :)
    starryblue04
  • My husband's family is visiting tomorrow and even though I'm still 5+ weeks from my due date I'm really not looking forward to it. I feel like the end of my pregnancy is making me antisocial but like you said, I just don't have the energy to try to entertain people.
    image
    MusicEBA22[Deleted User]starryblue04
  • Honestly, when my husband's friends come over to visit lately, I say hello and chat a few minutes then go about my business getting the nursery ready, etc. They don't mind and my DH gets to spend a little quality time with his friends. Granted, this is a little different than them spending the weekend, but they should understand if you aren't around entertaining the whole time. And at the end of the day, if it's too much stress to have them over, just tell them. They should understand if they're really good friends. 
    starryblue04
  • I will share that with my last baby my inlaws drove from another state two weeks before my due date to watch my daughter while we were in the hospital. They had an open ended departure. I was leery of their plan and sure enough they sat around for a week expecting us to entertain and feed them while gawking at me like I was a circus freak. Some folks are social at the end - I am not one of them! Thank goodness I went into labor a week early at 39 weeks - and asked them to take their act to a hotel once we came home. From now on our rule is help only and not visitors. Good luck! I'd rather friends than family - so you have that going for you!
    starryblue04
  • I feel you, @starryblue04 I'm due in 5 weeks and this is our first FREE weekend in a months to actually get baby stuff worked on....and by work on stuff I mean that we live in a smaller town and have to drive an hour and a half to the baby stores and get stuff. Then come home and organize, clean, build stuff. So when DH says his best friend wants to drive down with his girl we have never met and 'hang out all weekend', I wasn't thrilled!

    I just quickly said, "So, instead of baby stuff we will be cleaning our home for new company and hosting?!?!" Then I said no thanks, I have waited for this weekend forever. I never dictate-so he knows I'm serious. I'm hoping today to mention that any other weekend, my DH can drive up there and hang out, but I don't have the time and energy to play host!!! I'm miserable by 5pm every night with lightening crotch, back pain, and swollen feet! Sometimes I feel like my DH still doesn't understand how miserable, uncomfortable, anxious I am about everything physically...when I can't nest because my back feels broken and I'm stuck on the couch, I'm left to put lots of stuff off nonstop! Yikes, mini rant out! Lol
    starryblue04J0C0TX
  • @LoveLee85 That's the type of rant going on in my head!

    Although they are good friends, I'm a control freak and don't think they can help with cleaning and organizing that only my husband and I can do. That, and whenever I have guests I feel the need to cook, clean, and entertain as a hostess when I probably should be just taking it easy - so that part of it is my own fault. Since we moved, it will be the first time they visit, so I want to make sure they have a good time. I probably need to chill out with that because when my in laws are visiting after the birth I won't be able to do any of that. I made a huge excel sheet of all the things we need to take care of so my husband can see what I mean about needing our weekends to finish this stuff!

    Here's to a hopefully productive weekend!!!
    LoveLee85
  • @starryblue04 I was thinking the same thing on the friends helping clean and organize.....that would just leave me to boss a girl I don't know around, and not be open to their suggestions. HAHA What a mess. This was the best man in our wedding, so he's a great friend, too....BUT something tells me they wouldn't want or have fun doing baby stuff.

    I host things the same way you do! I never sit still and can't seem to relax, which is exactly why that can't happen at my home right now!

    I have a big list for DH also, but I get anxious every time I look at it because I add things. EEKK!

    GOOD LUCK to you, too! I'll need it this weekend!
    J0C0TX
  • Every weekend in August we have family visiting. Luckily I'll have started maternity leave then. I've warned them I get tired and am just going to make a list of jobs they can do too. But yeah, holy exhausting Batman!
  • I guess I'm the odd one, we're taking the opportunity to see everyone we can now before the baby. We have guests scheduled to stay with us every weekend until my due date plus a couple of dinner parties and my son's birthday party/sleepover

    image


    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I've pretty much blocked out the next few weeks bar a dinner with parents in law to celebrate husbands 40th and an early 6th birthday party at American girl for our oldest (which is SMALL)
    We have enough going on with starting kinder mid August, my job, and a few other things. I finished my hosting up last weekend... Done for the foreseeable future :))
  • My husband's friend is coming in the week before our baby is due. I am not expected to have him at my house, but he does expect my husband to play golf with him for most of one of the days that weekend. Really angers me.
  • Lol, this is divine. My husband's friend from out of state suddenly wants to come say hi as well in a few weeks w his new girlfriend and stay with us. This friend pucks thee worst, most skanky, trashy women. So yeah, I'm going to be a little bit put off by this notion!!!! My husband thinks I'm being mean and difficult. I have no words, lol just no!!!!!
    LoveLee85
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