So frustrated!! — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

So frustrated!!

Before getting pregnant my fiance and I always got along, typical fighting amd though I feel like everything he does makes me mad. He can simply walk into the house from work and I will just be annoyed already for no reason. Idk what to do because I know it's just my hormones going crazy and I feel it putting stress kn us and he just doesn't understand. I try to explain it but he doesn't get it and then he says things he knows make me upset. Any advice?

Re: So frustrated!!

  • If it is really bad, I would suggest counseling. While I have always said I would never do it myself, I have had some friends who went with their spouse and it did help turn things around for them. I would say go sooner rather than later, the longer you wait the more resentment and anger can build. I normally wouldn't give that advice but now that I am pregnant, I know I would do anything I could to make a good, stable and loving home for my kiddo.

    Sometimes it just plain helps to have a mediator with a fresh perspective who is impartial.

    If this is just a recent development, try and work it out between you and give it some time.

    Best wishes.
  • Hang in there, it'll get better and eventually phase out..

    Try and do something for yourself to ease your mind. Go for a walk, do some yoga...?

    Help him understand what you're going through, read through articles or blogs together. Give him a peace of mind it's not always going to be like this.
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  • I have been with my husband for 12 years and he still does things that I have probably told him hundreds of times make me upset. Sometimes, with men, they just forget and you have to remind them over and over and over. Maybe he's not doing/ saying things to upset you on purpose. He might just be clueless. Your SO isn't perfect. Try to give him the benefit of the doubt. Believe me, I know (I think we all do) how crazy all the hormone changes can make you feel and act. Communication is so important here. Try to explain it to him when you aren't feeling emotional. Apologize if you know you are being out of line. Tell him that you value his support and you know that he is just doing the best he can. When you feel the crazy coming on, just keep your mouth shut and address whatever is bothering you later when you are calm. Otherwise, he may feel attacked and clam up. What is that saying? You get more bees with honey than vinegar... or something? I think a lot of men feel powerless and left out in pregnancy. I got my DH this book:
    He likes it because it's a man explaining all aspects of pregnancy, hormones, etc. It's very informative, and helped him feel more included.
    Good luck!

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  • When I've been really annoyed (sometimes/usually for no good reason) and I know it's just me being a pregnant stinker I'll either kindly warn my DH, like please don't talk to me for about 30 minutes or I might yell at you for something that's not your fault, or I just leave the room and go take a long bath. Lately I've been taking a bath or two a day just to have some alone time and not have to look at or speak to anybody. He seems to appreciate the warnings and things have been a lot calmer around here.
  • I tell my husband that I feeling cranky. Sometimes just saying it out loud to him helps me feel better and then we laugh about it.
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