Horrible Anxiety — The Bump
September 2015 Moms

Horrible Anxiety

So I am so excited to meet our little boy sometime in the next 8 weeks, but laying in bed tonight it's like it hit me. For the next 20 years my husband and I will not have the house to ourselves. We will be 45 when he moves out. That's halfway through our lives. Then I start having anxiety about death and it just spirals out of control. I cant get my mind to stop. What if something goes wrong during the birth and I die? What if something happens to baby? What if something we're to ever happen to my husband? Anyone else experience anxiety like this?

Re: Horrible Anxiety

  • Yes.  I have gradually gotten better, but I worry about if something would happen to my husband or me, what would happen to the girls.  If something happened to the baby, what would I tell my toddler etc. etc.
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  • Eeeek, I think this is all pretty normal. And I do have anxiety too. I'm real worried about having adult time, alone time, all that. I'm 32,.I will be 52 when he is hopefully out lol. I've had a blast in my twenties and have big plans for my thirties. Having a child wasn't ever my plan. But here I am. I definitely now have more worries like yours. It's probably instinctual to feel protective of keeping the family unit intact. I just think about how to get through today and that helps fade things into the background a little.
  • I have panic and anxiety disorder so a thought process spiraling wildly out of control like that is pretty much in the realm of normal things my brain does lol. I'm much better about it these days but I've definitely had my moments in this pregnancy. My husband is usually the one to pull me back down to earth from such things but I've learned to talk myself off the ledge at times, too. It usually takes binge watching adorable or hilarious youtube videos of dogs or puppies and a whole lot of forcing positive thoughts to push out the negative.
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    RobsMrs77
  • I have this problem too - I'm actually horrified a lot of the time and it takes a ton of deep breaths and taking my mind off of thigns to stop thinking about it. And lately, I've been having this weird feeling in my chest and stomach like I'm falling, or sinking. I thought it was not getting enough air at first - it's like a mini anxiety attack. I just can't wrap my mind around how our lives will change in just a few weeks - I'm questioning my abilities, my capacity to be a mother (that is such a serious word!) It makes me freak out when I see guys on the street - like that could be my son in 30, 20 years! What will he be like? What will he LIKE? What will he be interested in? Will he repeat my mistakes? Will I be able to give him what he needs? It all goes through my mind over and over, and all at once! 
    I know it's in my head and most likely everything will be okay and I should take it one day at a time - but the moments when all of this comes like a wave at the same time that are a bit overpowering... Hang in there!
    Atlasmom
  • v1wwov1wwo member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    Yup. I had really bad anxiety attacks for about five days because my husband was flying out of the country. And I have a fear of flying that I am working on. But with the hormones I could not stop thinking that the airplane will fall out of the sky and he will die and I will be alone with the baby and I will have to give her and my dog away because I can't be a single mom in NYC and my parent will have to move in to take care if me because I will be so heartbroken and I will really hate his family for taking him away from me and--so I went to my OBGYN and we taked about it. She did give me pills just in case I really could not control my attacks but she recommended taking to him about it and drinking a little bit of beer or wine to relax. So I did that and I made it through a few more days. I even drove him to the airport and I think that is a very big atchivment for me.
    Last night I was getting sad again thinking he has to come back and that means he has to get in the plane. And now my parents are also flying and my mom is REALLY scared of airplanes... Oh boy...
    I am also worried about bringing my little girl in to this world. And a fear of me dressing her appropriately for winter... I don't want her to be cold!
  • I have this problem too - I'm actually horrified a lot of the time and it takes a ton of deep breaths and taking my mind off of thigns to stop thinking about it. And lately, I've been having this weird feeling in my chest and stomach like I'm falling, or sinking. I thought it was not getting enough air at first - it's like a mini anxiety attack. I just can't wrap my mind around how our lives will change in just a few weeks - I'm questioning my abilities, my capacity to be a mother (that is such a serious word!) It makes me freak out when I see guys on the street - like that could be my son in 30, 20 years! What will he be like? What will he LIKE? What will he be interested in? Will he repeat my mistakes? Will I be able to give him what he needs? It all goes through my mind over and over, and all at once! 
    I know it's in my head and most likely everything will be okay and I should take it one day at a time - but the moments when all of this comes like a wave at the same time that are a bit overpowering... Hang in there!
    This is very similar to the things I think about and worry about. Good to see I'm not alone.
    TahoeAugust
  • I think it's natural to worry about someone that will depend on you fulltime for years to come. I went through a stage were I would cry about my son going to college one day and leaving me. My niece is now 21 but I remember when she was born. Time passes so fast! My SO thought I was crazy for worrying about something so far in the future when the baby is not even born yet. But I would cry and get sad.

    Now I worry about being able to give him everything he needs financially. I really don't know how parents with big families do it!

  • I have similar thoughts especially about something happening during child birth to me or the baby. It's terrifying. I try to think positive but I'm prone to anxiety/panic attacks anyway so it's hard sometimes because they are very overwhelming feelings. You're definitely not alone! Hang in there.
  • ANB620ANB620 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its First Answer Photogenic
    Thank you so much everyone. Knowing I'm not alone and ways to cope (yay for funny YouTube videos) has all been so helpful. I really appreciate the support :)
    TahoeAugustRobsMrs77
  • Yes! I'd like to say it gets better the more you have but I am expecting my third and feel the same way at times. I am trying to let go and let God. I had a miscarriage before this baby and worry about his health and mine etc.
    one day at a time.
    Your all
    in my prayers.
  • What you're experiencing is normal. Though your thoughts might be unsettling to you, don't let the fact that you're having them scare you. Having a baby is a huge fu*king deal mentally, physically, and emotionally. Your hormones are completely out of whack, so don't stress yourself out. I've been dealing with this too. I just let the thoughts go througb my head and once they are over, I just give myself a little pep talk. It'll be okay.
    aishachalita
  • I've been focusing my anxiety on my five year old. Wanting to help him through these changes (baby, moving, starting school) as well as possible. He's been our one and only for so long and I don't want to fail him. He's going through normal challenges and struggles for his age, but it's like I take it all too seriously because I feel like I caused it by my choices. Sigh... @momofthree123 I also need to let go and let God...
  • I feel this way too! And I think my husband is starting to also, he asked me tonight what I would do if he died! And what would happen to our girl. Usually he's like why think about it cause you never know what's going to happen, but tonight he actually asked if I'd get married again or stay single forever... Mad me a little sad :(
  • Having kids gives you fears you never had! I went on a big roller coaster last year, something I did hundreds of times before, and all I could think about was "if my bar fails while I'm on this ride my kids will not have a mom anymore". I get anxious while driving on the highway or while my kids are with someone (DH or their grandparents) driving somewhere. I fly about twice per week and don't get nervous, but last time I flew (3 weeks ago) my plane abruptly dropped and began shaking. It wasn't turbulence, something happened. And now I dread getting back on a plane after my DD is born.
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