TTC After a Loss

Conception Sex....... (venting/rambling)

Is it just me or is conception sex the worst?   Don't get me wrong, I usually love being with my husband in that aspect.  I just  hate the whole "we have to do it right now!" bit.   "I don't care what kind of mood you are in, we have to do it now!"   "I don't care if you are mad (etc) we have to do it now!"  "Okay let's get this over with" 
I hate conception sex or perhaps I should call it TTC sex.  It sucks.   I hate it when people that find out you are trying are all like well at least you get to have a lot of sex. 
Yeah, but I wish I didn't have to.  I wish I were pregnant.  I wish I did not have to schedule sex according to a calendar or chart.  It gets tiring month after month after month.  

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, and I love/enjoy being with him in that way when we aren't in TTC mode.   When we are in TTC mode I absolutely hate it.   It is more of a mental thing really.  It's like let's get this over with.  And in my mind I'm like I hope it is a positive this month although I'm sure based on previous months that it will be negative.   (I'm an eternal pessimist.  Every time I get my hopes up something happens to bring them back down.  My life experiences have made me that way).
I realize I'm probably preaching to the choir.  Bottom line TTC sex sucks!

So the plan was I'd get married by the time I turned 30.  I got married five months before I turned 30.    The other plan was to have a kid or two before I turn 35.  I have one more month to try in order to be able to have a kid by the age of 35.    Thought I was going to achieve that plan a lot earlier, but a MC took that away.

But anyway I just got that book everyone talks about on here.  I can't remember the name of it off the top of my head.  I guess I'd better get some reading in before I turn in for the night.

First Pregnancy
  • BFP: 01/25/2015
  • EDD: 09/28/2015
  • Incomplete MC: 02/28/2015

Second Pregnancy

  • BFP: 09/11/2015
  • EDD: 05/25/2016
Baby Born


Re: Conception Sex....... (venting/rambling)

  • mt1403mt1403 member
    I totally get what you're saying. TTC sex just feels like a chore sometimes. Having to schedule it at the perfect time even when you are not in the mood takes all the fun out of it. Sometimes I know my hubby is probably like when is this craziness going to end. I feel like a complete psychopath sometimes because all I think about is getting pregnant. It's consuming my life and it's hard to think about anything else. Good luck and lots of baby dust your way!
  • @mt1403 please don't use the term baby dust. As a mother who had her stillborn cremated I find that term highly offensive and insensitive.
    Noah Gabriel due:4/21/15 born sleeping 12/22/14

    Hoping for a Rainbow in 2016
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  • mt1403mt1403 member
    I sincerely apologize. I honestly was just trying to be supportive and offer some encouragement. I'm am new to all of this as I suffered a loss as well. Thank you for pointing it out to me. It was a horrible mistake that I will not make again. I feel absolutely terrible. I am truly sorry for your loss. Please accept my sincere apology.
  • I think it is easier said that done, but have you tried not focusing on the "outcome" but rather live in the moment? Enjoy the time with your husband without putting so much pressure on the timeline you have set for yourself. Being relaxed and happy could also help with conception. I know, I also feel some pressure after our loss, but I will try to stay positive and not think too much about the "task at hand". I am not temping, I just plan on keeping track of my cycles and continue to have sex every-other day or so. I'll happen when it happens. Wish you best of luck! Take care.
    ******TW******Siggy warning
    BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
    BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks; 
    BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016 

       Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • I'm sorry for your loss as well these are murky waters that we loss mamas tread. Your comment just caught me off guard at a bad moment but it is def a term that is discouraged here on this particular board. Good luck to you trying for your rainbow.
    Noah Gabriel due:4/21/15 born sleeping 12/22/14

    Hoping for a Rainbow in 2016
  • Agreed. I just had this some talk with my best friend. Literally a baby is all I think about. Everyday all day. I would love to be able to get lost in the arms of my husband and nor think about how much I am praying that this time works and we get 2 pink lines. Praying for you during this time.
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