I've heard of "sprinkles party" for a second child. My mother is actually talking about throwing another party (not as extravagant) for us. The kids will be only 19 months apart BUT my 1st was a girl and the 2nd is a boy! We have a lot of things that can be reused for him but there are a lot of things we don't have that are geared towards a boy so that is why she is wanting to throw another party. I told her I would love one to help out since we went from a two income family to a one income due to our daughters life threatening disease (Cystic Fibrosis) but I do not want more than 1 and I would prefer it to be smaller and more intimate
Well I am over 40 and this is my second child after having 7 pregnancies - 5 miscarriages (3 before our first live born and 2 before this one) and one living child who is now 4 years old. My first was a girl (4 year old) and this one is a boy.
Different sex and probably my last. Though if it were up to us we'd like another one...
I'm in the northeast and everyone I know here had a sprinkle with their second even if it was a second child of the same gender! I have two girlfriends who both had boys as first horns and then had boys again 2 years later and they both had sprinkles. And another girlfriend who had a daughter and then a boy three years later and she had a second shower! So I'm not nervous about a sprinkle for a second baby who is a different gender four years later!
I also send $50 gift cards to the mommies who are extended family who didn't even invite me to their showers. Why? Because all parents need Help and it's the right thing to do!
My mom threw me a HUGE shower 4 years ago with DD at a beautiful banquet hall. And the whole works... A wishing well, games, gorgeous three tier cake, tons of homemade Italian cookies and desserts, tons of prizes, big shower display and party table. It was amazing and at least 50 women which to me is a lot!
Now 4 years later I'm having a BOY!! and after experiencing 2 miscarriages including one at 12 weeks after a heartbeat right before we got pregnant with this one. We also just lost my father in law unexpectedly in April which was a heart breaker. He would have flipped out to know we were pregnant and then to know it was a boy!
My mom said we should just do a sprinkle so just a small get together. A sit down dinner with dessert at a local Italian ristorante. Just inviting about 20 close family members. So really I wouldn't even be embarrassed if they judged me because we all judge each other anyway lol!
No coworkers or neighbors etc. I don't care if five or fifteen show up. It's just nice and a nice dinner and dessert. I also do not need anything except maybe a new infant car seat that we honestly can't afford right now and of course diapers and wipes!!! We don't need books we have a ton from DD. We don't need clothes I have loads of hand me downs from a girlfriend coming my way and I already bought a ton of newborn and 3-9 month outfits at carters and osh kosh already.
We don't have a nursery to prepare because we only have a small two bedroom home for now and I am a graduate student so we can't afford a bigger home or to build an addition until I actually get a real job in academia when junior is about three years old! So there's nothing to decorate that's kind of a downer but baby will co-sleep with us any way and we have a bassinet and swing and stroller from DD that we can use. Jeepers DD doesn't even use her own room at 4 she still co sleeps with us anyway lol.
Anyway we are doing a sprinkle. If people we invite want to judge. Let them. Wha can we do. We don't have much and we need a little help even if it doesn't look that way on the outside. Nobody knows our financial situation or our ridiculous debt load but it doesn't take a genius to figure out 12+ years of higher education ain't cheap and a call center salary doesn't exactly cut it when you have a mortgage and kids.
I breastfeed so don't need bottles except for one or two and already have a pump from DD. also heard pumps are now covered under affordable care act so will look into a new one possibly with my insurance.
So that's that. My mom said she wanted to put gift cards appreciated on the invite for little things because we are getting all those hand me downs already and don't really need clothes etc.
I found some little rhyming poems to put on there and I'm also doing a diaper raffle too because it's fun! I will make three awesome raffle baskets (including a Lilly Pulitzer basket which I would love to win lol!) I'm a Yankee in the Northeast. Not sure if it tacky or not and don't really care (like a true yank I guess lol).
We'll make tons of goodies and cookies for giving to guests to take home as well and have a nice cake too. It's just a dinner with dessert for two hours so it won't be torture for anyone and it's a chance to get together.
I reworded and customized the invite to say let's celebrate the new arrival instead of "celebrate mommy" because I really don't need to be celebrated and besides it took two to make this little guy and it's the little guy who needs the diapers and other little things.
I'm the oldest and the first to have both the first kid and the first to have baby #2 so I guess I kind of set the precedent. If I was having another girl I would still do a small sprinkle too but request no gifts.
Here's a link to the website I found with little poems for any occasion.
Our invite says: Target or Amazon, BabiesRUs, Please don't feel obligated to make a big fuss! Any gift card appreciated by parents to be, so they will be ready for what baby boy needs.
I don't know. I hope it doesn't seem grabby or tacky. but what can you do. As an older mum this is most likely my last kid. I had a late start in life but it was worth the wait!!! And if we are blessed to have a third.... well we've got it covered with both genders already so we're good!
Should still celebrate baby though! I think most women will appreciate the opportunity to get together for a nice dinner to chat and catch up! And if they don't well pooh on them!
I am having a boy this time and my daughter is going to be 5. I have a completely different set of friends than I did 5 years ago. My friends came to me and asked me if they could throw me a shower. Several of my friends are not married, a little younger and have no kids. My little man has become a big focus for them and they are very excited for us and the fact that they get to be a part of his life. They have also asked that I please make a registry because they aren't really baby savvy and know I got rid of most of my baby stuff. If that makes me "gift grabby" I can live with it. Because really they want to get together, drink wine and celebrate my baby they are growing to love.
I don't understand why someone would choose to have another child if they can't afford it and need a shower in order to make ends meet. JMHO. Also, think about what you're calling your party. A shower is meant to shower the mother-to-be with gifts (and love, of course). A sprinkle is a mini-shower. It's very contradictory and confusing to your guests to call the event a shower or even a sprinkle and then say 'no gifts required.' Also, please STOP specifying what type of gifts you want - it is rude to tell people how to spend their money on you (unless they ask). If people want to buy you something other than a gift card or book or whatever, then they can - it's their money.
Me: 28, DH: 40 Married 9/28/13 DS born 11/12/15 EDD 8/13/18
I don't understand why someone would choose to have another child if they can't afford it and need a shower in order to make ends meet. JMHO. Also, think about what you're calling your party. A shower is meant to shower the mother-to-be with gifts (and love, of course). A sprinkle is a mini-shower. It's very contradictory and confusing to your guests to call the event a shower or even a sprinkle and then say 'no gifts required.' Also, please STOP specifying what type of gifts you want - it is rude to tell people how to spend their money on you (unless they ask). If people want to buy you something other than a gift card or book or whatever, then they can - it's their money.
Well I am over 40 and this is my second child after having 7 pregnancies - 5 miscarriages (3 before our first live born and 2 before this one) and one living child who is now 4 years old. My first was a girl (4 year old) and this one is a boy.
Different sex and probably my last. Though if it were up to us we'd like another one...
I'm in the northeast and everyone I know here had a sprinkle with their second even if it was a second child of the same gender! I have two girlfriends who both had boys as first horns and then had boys again 2 years later and they both had sprinkles. And another girlfriend who had a daughter and then a boy three years later and she had a second shower! So I'm not nervous about a sprinkle for a second baby who is a different gender four years later!
I also send $50 gift cards to the mommies who are extended family who didn't even invite me to their showers. Why? Because all parents need Help and it's the right thing to do!
My mom threw me a HUGE shower 4 years ago with DD at a beautiful banquet hall. And the whole works... A wishing well, games, gorgeous three tier cake, tons of homemade Italian cookies and desserts, tons of prizes, big shower display and party table. It was amazing and at least 50 women which to me is a lot!
Now 4 years later I'm having a BOY!! and after experiencing 2 miscarriages including one at 12 weeks after a heartbeat right before we got pregnant with this one. We also just lost my father in law unexpectedly in April which was a heart breaker. He would have flipped out to know we were pregnant and then to know it was a boy!
My mom said we should just do a sprinkle so just a small get together. A sit down dinner with dessert at a local Italian ristorante. Just inviting about 20 close family members. So really I wouldn't even be embarrassed if they judged me because we all judge each other anyway lol!
No coworkers or neighbors etc. I don't care if five or fifteen show up. It's just nice and a nice dinner and dessert. I also do not need anything except maybe a new infant car seat that we honestly can't afford right now and of course diapers and wipes!!! We don't need books we have a ton from DD. We don't need clothes I have loads of hand me downs from a girlfriend coming my way and I already bought a ton of newborn and 3-9 month outfits at carters and osh kosh already.
We don't have a nursery to prepare because we only have a small two bedroom home for now and I am a graduate student so we can't afford a bigger home or to build an addition until I actually get a real job in academia when junior is about three years old! So there's nothing to decorate that's kind of a downer but baby will co-sleep with us any way and we have a bassinet and swing and stroller from DD that we can use. Jeepers DD doesn't even use her own room at 4 she still co sleeps with us anyway lol.
Anyway we are doing a sprinkle. If people we invite want to judge. Let them. Wha can we do. We don't have much and we need a little help even if it doesn't look that way on the outside. Nobody knows our financial situation or our ridiculous debt load but it doesn't take a genius to figure out 12+ years of higher education ain't cheap and a call center salary doesn't exactly cut it when you have a mortgage and kids.
I breastfeed so don't need bottles except for one or two and already have a pump from DD. also heard pumps are now covered under affordable care act so will look into a new one possibly with my insurance.
So that's that. My mom said she wanted to put gift cards appreciated on the invite for little things because we are getting all those hand me downs already and don't really need clothes etc.
I found some little rhyming poems to put on there and I'm also doing a diaper raffle too because it's fun! I will make three awesome raffle baskets (including a Lilly Pulitzer basket which I would love to win lol!) I'm a Yankee in the Northeast. Not sure if it tacky or not and don't really care (like a true yank I guess lol).
We'll make tons of goodies and cookies for giving to guests to take home as well and have a nice cake too. It's just a dinner with dessert for two hours so it won't be torture for anyone and it's a chance to get together.
I reworded and customized the invite to say let's celebrate the new arrival instead of "celebrate mommy" because I really don't need to be celebrated and besides it took two to make this little guy and it's the little guy who needs the diapers and other little things.
I'm the oldest and the first to have both the first kid and the first to have baby #2 so I guess I kind of set the precedent. If I was having another girl I would still do a small sprinkle too but request no gifts.
Here's a link to the website I found with little poems for any occasion.
Our invite says: Target or Amazon, BabiesRUs, Please don't feel obligated to make a big fuss! Any gift card appreciated by parents to be, so they will be ready for what baby boy needs.
I don't know. I hope it doesn't seem grabby or tacky. but what can you do. As an older mum this is most likely my last kid. I had a late start in life but it was worth the wait!!! And if we are blessed to have a third.... well we've got it covered with both genders already so we're good!
Should still celebrate baby though! I think most women will appreciate the opportunity to get together for a nice dinner to chat and catch up! And if they don't well pooh on them!
To answer your question... yes everything you have said comes off as gift grabby (extremely so). If you have to have a shower in order to get by then you can't afford to have children yet. You choose to procreate, it is beyond entitled to expect others to help provide for them, and then to dictate how people spend their money on you is beyond astounding to me. I get significant student loan debt, between my DH and I we have more than our fair share, that doesn't mean everyone else needs to finance my child. You choose to go to school for 12 years, and have children on a limited income. It still makes your attitude and invitation tacky.
My youngest child will be 12 by the time this baby is born. This is also my husband's first child. I didn't have a shower for either or my other children. His family says I don't get a choice on this shower. I was instructed to simply show up. My husband is the baby of his family, so this is a big deal for them. I guess it is what it is. A shower.
Well I am over 40 and this is my second child after having 7 pregnancies - 5 miscarriages (3 before our first live born and 2 before this one) and one living child who is now 4 years old. My first was a girl (4 year old) and this one is a boy.
Different sex and probably my last. Though if it were up to us we'd like another one...
I'm in the northeast and everyone I know here had a sprinkle with their second even if it was a second child of the same gender! I have two girlfriends who both had boys as first horns and then had boys again 2 years later and they both had sprinkles. And another girlfriend who had a daughter and then a boy three years later and she had a second shower! So I'm not nervous about a sprinkle for a second baby who is a different gender four years later!
I also send $50 gift cards to the mommies who are extended family who didn't even invite me to their showers. Why? Because all parents need Help and it's the right thing to do!
My mom threw me a HUGE shower 4 years ago with DD at a beautiful banquet hall. And the whole works... A wishing well, games, gorgeous three tier cake, tons of homemade Italian cookies and desserts, tons of prizes, big shower display and party table. It was amazing and at least 50 women which to me is a lot!
Now 4 years later I'm having a BOY!! and after experiencing 2 miscarriages including one at 12 weeks after a heartbeat right before we got pregnant with this one. We also just lost my father in law unexpectedly in April which was a heart breaker. He would have flipped out to know we were pregnant and then to know it was a boy!
My mom said we should just do a sprinkle so just a small get together. A sit down dinner with dessert at a local Italian ristorante. Just inviting about 20 close family members. So really I wouldn't even be embarrassed if they judged me because we all judge each other anyway lol!
No coworkers or neighbors etc. I don't care if five or fifteen show up. It's just nice and a nice dinner and dessert. I also do not need anything except maybe a new infant car seat that we honestly can't afford right now and of course diapers and wipes!!! We don't need books we have a ton from DD. We don't need clothes I have loads of hand me downs from a girlfriend coming my way and I already bought a ton of newborn and 3-9 month outfits at carters and osh kosh already.
We don't have a nursery to prepare because we only have a small two bedroom home for now and I am a graduate student so we can't afford a bigger home or to build an addition until I actually get a real job in academia when junior is about three years old! So there's nothing to decorate that's kind of a downer but baby will co-sleep with us any way and we have a bassinet and swing and stroller from DD that we can use. Jeepers DD doesn't even use her own room at 4 she still co sleeps with us anyway lol.
Anyway we are doing a sprinkle. If people we invite want to judge. Let them. Wha can we do. We don't have much and we need a little help even if it doesn't look that way on the outside. Nobody knows our financial situation or our ridiculous debt load but it doesn't take a genius to figure out 12+ years of higher education ain't cheap and a call center salary doesn't exactly cut it when you have a mortgage and kids.
I breastfeed so don't need bottles except for one or two and already have a pump from DD. also heard pumps are now covered under affordable care act so will look into a new one possibly with my insurance.
So that's that. My mom said she wanted to put gift cards appreciated on the invite for little things because we are getting all those hand me downs already and don't really need clothes etc.
I found some little rhyming poems to put on there and I'm also doing a diaper raffle too because it's fun! I will make three awesome raffle baskets (including a Lilly Pulitzer basket which I would love to win lol!) I'm a Yankee in the Northeast. Not sure if it tacky or not and don't really care (like a true yank I guess lol).
We'll make tons of goodies and cookies for giving to guests to take home as well and have a nice cake too. It's just a dinner with dessert for two hours so it won't be torture for anyone and it's a chance to get together.
I reworded and customized the invite to say let's celebrate the new arrival instead of "celebrate mommy" because I really don't need to be celebrated and besides it took two to make this little guy and it's the little guy who needs the diapers and other little things.
I'm the oldest and the first to have both the first kid and the first to have baby #2 so I guess I kind of set the precedent. If I was having another girl I would still do a small sprinkle too but request no gifts.
Here's a link to the website I found with little poems for any occasion.
Our invite says: Target or Amazon, BabiesRUs, Please don't feel obligated to make a big fuss! Any gift card appreciated by parents to be, so they will be ready for what baby boy needs.
I don't know. I hope it doesn't seem grabby or tacky. but what can you do. As an older mum this is most likely my last kid. I had a late start in life but it was worth the wait!!! And if we are blessed to have a third.... well we've got it covered with both genders already so we're good!
Should still celebrate baby though! I think most women will appreciate the opportunity to get together for a nice dinner to chat and catch up! And if they don't well pooh on them!
To answer your question... yes everything you have said comes off as gift grabby (extremely so). If you have to have a shower in order to get by then you can't afford to have children yet. You choose to procreate, it is beyond entitled to expect others to help provide for them, and then to dictate how people spend their money on you is beyond astounding to me. I get significant student loan debt, between my DH and I we have more than our fair share, that doesn't mean everyone else needs to finance my child. You choose to go to school for 12 years, and have children on a limited income. It still makes your attitude and invitation tacky.
I agree that people shouldn't have children until they are financially stable; however, like she said she is over 40 and already has had a rough time trying for kids throughout the years. I think she is an exception considering she shouldn't wait much longer. If someone told me I shouldn't have another child simply because money is tight, and I knew this was my last chance, I wouldn't listen. A persons financial situation can always improve but she may only have one shot left for another child...
Well I am over 40 and this is my second child after having 7 pregnancies - 5 miscarriages (3 before our first live born and 2 before this one) and one living child who is now 4 years old. My first was a girl (4 year old) and this one is a boy.
Different sex and probably my last. Though if it were up to us we'd like another one...
I'm in the northeast and everyone I know here had a sprinkle with their second even if it was a second child of the same gender! I have two girlfriends who both had boys as first horns and then had boys again 2 years later and they both had sprinkles. And another girlfriend who had a daughter and then a boy three years later and she had a second shower! So I'm not nervous about a sprinkle for a second baby who is a different gender four years later!
I also send $50 gift cards to the mommies who are extended family who didn't even invite me to their showers. Why? Because all parents need Help and it's the right thing to do!
My mom threw me a HUGE shower 4 years ago with DD at a beautiful banquet hall. And the whole works... A wishing well, games, gorgeous three tier cake, tons of homemade Italian cookies and desserts, tons of prizes, big shower display and party table. It was amazing and at least 50 women which to me is a lot!
Now 4 years later I'm having a BOY!! and after experiencing 2 miscarriages including one at 12 weeks after a heartbeat right before we got pregnant with this one. We also just lost my father in law unexpectedly in April which was a heart breaker. He would have flipped out to know we were pregnant and then to know it was a boy!
My mom said we should just do a sprinkle so just a small get together. A sit down dinner with dessert at a local Italian ristorante. Just inviting about 20 close family members. So really I wouldn't even be embarrassed if they judged me because we all judge each other anyway lol!
No coworkers or neighbors etc. I don't care if five or fifteen show up. It's just nice and a nice dinner and dessert. I also do not need anything except maybe a new infant car seat that we honestly can't afford right now and of course diapers and wipes!!! We don't need books we have a ton from DD. We don't need clothes I have loads of hand me downs from a girlfriend coming my way and I already bought a ton of newborn and 3-9 month outfits at carters and osh kosh already.
We don't have a nursery to prepare because we only have a small two bedroom home for now and I am a graduate student so we can't afford a bigger home or to build an addition until I actually get a real job in academia when junior is about three years old! So there's nothing to decorate that's kind of a downer but baby will co-sleep with us any way and we have a bassinet and swing and stroller from DD that we can use. Jeepers DD doesn't even use her own room at 4 she still co sleeps with us anyway lol.
Anyway we are doing a sprinkle. If people we invite want to judge. Let them. Wha can we do. We don't have much and we need a little help even if it doesn't look that way on the outside. Nobody knows our financial situation or our ridiculous debt load but it doesn't take a genius to figure out 12+ years of higher education ain't cheap and a call center salary doesn't exactly cut it when you have a mortgage and kids.
I breastfeed so don't need bottles except for one or two and already have a pump from DD. also heard pumps are now covered under affordable care act so will look into a new one possibly with my insurance.
So that's that. My mom said she wanted to put gift cards appreciated on the invite for little things because we are getting all those hand me downs already and don't really need clothes etc.
I found some little rhyming poems to put on there and I'm also doing a diaper raffle too because it's fun! I will make three awesome raffle baskets (including a Lilly Pulitzer basket which I would love to win lol!) I'm a Yankee in the Northeast. Not sure if it tacky or not and don't really care (like a true yank I guess lol).
We'll make tons of goodies and cookies for giving to guests to take home as well and have a nice cake too. It's just a dinner with dessert for two hours so it won't be torture for anyone and it's a chance to get together.
I reworded and customized the invite to say let's celebrate the new arrival instead of "celebrate mommy" because I really don't need to be celebrated and besides it took two to make this little guy and it's the little guy who needs the diapers and other little things.
I'm the oldest and the first to have both the first kid and the first to have baby #2 so I guess I kind of set the precedent. If I was having another girl I would still do a small sprinkle too but request no gifts.
Here's a link to the website I found with little poems for any occasion.
Our invite says: Target or Amazon, BabiesRUs, Please don't feel obligated to make a big fuss! Any gift card appreciated by parents to be, so they will be ready for what baby boy needs.
I don't know. I hope it doesn't seem grabby or tacky. but what can you do. As an older mum this is most likely my last kid. I had a late start in life but it was worth the wait!!! And if we are blessed to have a third.... well we've got it covered with both genders already so we're good!
Should still celebrate baby though! I think most women will appreciate the opportunity to get together for a nice dinner to chat and catch up! And if they don't well pooh on them!
To answer your question... yes everything you have said comes off as gift grabby (extremely so). If you have to have a shower in order to get by then you can't afford to have children yet. You choose to procreate, it is beyond entitled to expect others to help provide for them, and then to dictate how people spend their money on you is beyond astounding to me. I get significant student loan debt, between my DH and I we have more than our fair share, that doesn't mean everyone else needs to finance my child. You choose to go to school for 12 years, and have children on a limited income. It still makes your attitude and invitation tacky.
I agree that people shouldn't have children until they are financially stable; however, like she said she is over 40 and already has had a rough time trying for kids throughout the years. I think she is an exception considering she shouldn't wait much longer. If someone told me I shouldn't have another child simply because money is tight, and I knew this was my last chance, I wouldn't listen. A persons financial situation can always improve but she may only have one shot left for another child...
That still doesn't make it anyone else's responsibility to pay/provide for the child. If money is tight but you choose to have a child, then you are still responsible to make your finances work to provide for the child. That's the commitment you make when you decide to procreate.
Well I am over 40 and this is my second child after having 7 pregnancies - 5 miscarriages (3 before our first live born and 2 before this one) and one living child who is now 4 years old. My first was a girl (4 year old) and this one is a boy.
Different sex and probably my last. Though if it were up to us we'd like another one...
I'm in the northeast and everyone I know here had a sprinkle with their second even if it was a second child of the same gender! I have two girlfriends who both had boys as first horns and then had boys again 2 years later and they both had sprinkles. And another girlfriend who had a daughter and then a boy three years later and she had a second shower! So I'm not nervous about a sprinkle for a second baby who is a different gender four years later!
I also send $50 gift cards to the mommies who are extended family who didn't even invite me to their showers. Why? Because all parents need Help and it's the right thing to do!
My mom threw me a HUGE shower 4 years ago with DD at a beautiful banquet hall. And the whole works... A wishing well, games, gorgeous three tier cake, tons of homemade Italian cookies and desserts, tons of prizes, big shower display and party table. It was amazing and at least 50 women which to me is a lot!
Now 4 years later I'm having a BOY!! and after experiencing 2 miscarriages including one at 12 weeks after a heartbeat right before we got pregnant with this one. We also just lost my father in law unexpectedly in April which was a heart breaker. He would have flipped out to know we were pregnant and then to know it was a boy!
My mom said we should just do a sprinkle so just a small get together. A sit down dinner with dessert at a local Italian ristorante. Just inviting about 20 close family members. So really I wouldn't even be embarrassed if they judged me because we all judge each other anyway lol!
No coworkers or neighbors etc. I don't care if five or fifteen show up. It's just nice and a nice dinner and dessert. I also do not need anything except maybe a new infant car seat that we honestly can't afford right now and of course diapers and wipes!!! We don't need books we have a ton from DD. We don't need clothes I have loads of hand me downs from a girlfriend coming my way and I already bought a ton of newborn and 3-9 month outfits at carters and osh kosh already.
We don't have a nursery to prepare because we only have a small two bedroom home for now and I am a graduate student so we can't afford a bigger home or to build an addition until I actually get a real job in academia when junior is about three years old! So there's nothing to decorate that's kind of a downer but baby will co-sleep with us any way and we have a bassinet and swing and stroller from DD that we can use. Jeepers DD doesn't even use her own room at 4 she still co sleeps with us anyway lol.
Anyway we are doing a sprinkle. If people we invite want to judge. Let them. Wha can we do. We don't have much and we need a little help even if it doesn't look that way on the outside. Nobody knows our financial situation or our ridiculous debt load but it doesn't take a genius to figure out 12+ years of higher education ain't cheap and a call center salary doesn't exactly cut it when you have a mortgage and kids.
I breastfeed so don't need bottles except for one or two and already have a pump from DD. also heard pumps are now covered under affordable care act so will look into a new one possibly with my insurance.
So that's that. My mom said she wanted to put gift cards appreciated on the invite for little things because we are getting all those hand me downs already and don't really need clothes etc.
I found some little rhyming poems to put on there and I'm also doing a diaper raffle too because it's fun! I will make three awesome raffle baskets (including a Lilly Pulitzer basket which I would love to win lol!) I'm a Yankee in the Northeast. Not sure if it tacky or not and don't really care (like a true yank I guess lol).
We'll make tons of goodies and cookies for giving to guests to take home as well and have a nice cake too. It's just a dinner with dessert for two hours so it won't be torture for anyone and it's a chance to get together.
I reworded and customized the invite to say let's celebrate the new arrival instead of "celebrate mommy" because I really don't need to be celebrated and besides it took two to make this little guy and it's the little guy who needs the diapers and other little things.
I'm the oldest and the first to have both the first kid and the first to have baby #2 so I guess I kind of set the precedent. If I was having another girl I would still do a small sprinkle too but request no gifts.
Here's a link to the website I found with little poems for any occasion.
Our invite says: Target or Amazon, BabiesRUs, Please don't feel obligated to make a big fuss! Any gift card appreciated by parents to be, so they will be ready for what baby boy needs.
I don't know. I hope it doesn't seem grabby or tacky. but what can you do. As an older mum this is most likely my last kid. I had a late start in life but it was worth the wait!!! And if we are blessed to have a third.... well we've got it covered with both genders already so we're good!
Should still celebrate baby though! I think most women will appreciate the opportunity to get together for a nice dinner to chat and catch up! And if they don't well pooh on them!
Tl;dr
If you can't afford an infant car seat or essentials it seems a little ridiculous to host a sit down dinner at a restaurant. And asking for gift cards in your invite is incredibly rude, gift grabby and tacky.
Well I am over 40 and this is my second child after having 7 pregnancies - 5 miscarriages (3 before our first live born and 2 before this one) and one living child who is now 4 years old. My first was a girl (4 year old) and this one is a boy.
Different sex and probably my last. Though if it were up to us we'd like another one...
I'm in the northeast and everyone I know here had a sprinkle with their second even if it was a second child of the same gender! I have two girlfriends who both had boys as first horns and then had boys again 2 years later and they both had sprinkles. And another girlfriend who had a daughter and then a boy three years later and she had a second shower! So I'm not nervous about a sprinkle for a second baby who is a different gender four years later!
I also send $50 gift cards to the mommies who are extended family who didn't even invite me to their showers. Why? Because all parents need Help and it's the right thing to do!
My mom threw me a HUGE shower 4 years ago with DD at a beautiful banquet hall. And the whole works... A wishing well, games, gorgeous three tier cake, tons of homemade Italian cookies and desserts, tons of prizes, big shower display and party table. It was amazing and at least 50 women which to me is a lot!
Now 4 years later I'm having a BOY!! and after experiencing 2 miscarriages including one at 12 weeks after a heartbeat right before we got pregnant with this one. We also just lost my father in law unexpectedly in April which was a heart breaker. He would have flipped out to know we were pregnant and then to know it was a boy!
My mom said we should just do a sprinkle so just a small get together. A sit down dinner with dessert at a local Italian ristorante. Just inviting about 20 close family members. So really I wouldn't even be embarrassed if they judged me because we all judge each other anyway lol!
No coworkers or neighbors etc. I don't care if five or fifteen show up. It's just nice and a nice dinner and dessert. I also do not need anything except maybe a new infant car seat that we honestly can't afford right now and of course diapers and wipes!!! We don't need books we have a ton from DD. We don't need clothes I have loads of hand me downs from a girlfriend coming my way and I already bought a ton of newborn and 3-9 month outfits at carters and osh kosh already.
We don't have a nursery to prepare because we only have a small two bedroom home for now and I am a graduate student so we can't afford a bigger home or to build an addition until I actually get a real job in academia when junior is about three years old! So there's nothing to decorate that's kind of a downer but baby will co-sleep with us any way and we have a bassinet and swing and stroller from DD that we can use. Jeepers DD doesn't even use her own room at 4 she still co sleeps with us anyway lol.
Anyway we are doing a sprinkle. If people we invite want to judge. Let them. Wha can we do. We don't have much and we need a little help even if it doesn't look that way on the outside. Nobody knows our financial situation or our ridiculous debt load but it doesn't take a genius to figure out 12+ years of higher education ain't cheap and a call center salary doesn't exactly cut it when you have a mortgage and kids.
I breastfeed so don't need bottles except for one or two and already have a pump from DD. also heard pumps are now covered under affordable care act so will look into a new one possibly with my insurance.
So that's that. My mom said she wanted to put gift cards appreciated on the invite for little things because we are getting all those hand me downs already and don't really need clothes etc.
I found some little rhyming poems to put on there and I'm also doing a diaper raffle too because it's fun! I will make three awesome raffle baskets (including a Lilly Pulitzer basket which I would love to win lol!) I'm a Yankee in the Northeast. Not sure if it tacky or not and don't really care (like a true yank I guess lol).
We'll make tons of goodies and cookies for giving to guests to take home as well and have a nice cake too. It's just a dinner with dessert for two hours so it won't be torture for anyone and it's a chance to get together.
I reworded and customized the invite to say let's celebrate the new arrival instead of "celebrate mommy" because I really don't need to be celebrated and besides it took two to make this little guy and it's the little guy who needs the diapers and other little things.
I'm the oldest and the first to have both the first kid and the first to have baby #2 so I guess I kind of set the precedent. If I was having another girl I would still do a small sprinkle too but request no gifts.
Here's a link to the website I found with little poems for any occasion.
Our invite says: Target or Amazon, BabiesRUs, Please don't feel obligated to make a big fuss! Any gift card appreciated by parents to be, so they will be ready for what baby boy needs.
I don't know. I hope it doesn't seem grabby or tacky. but what can you do. As an older mum this is most likely my last kid. I had a late start in life but it was worth the wait!!! And if we are blessed to have a third.... well we've got it covered with both genders already so we're good!
Should still celebrate baby though! I think most women will appreciate the opportunity to get together for a nice dinner to chat and catch up! And if they don't well pooh on them!
To answer your question... yes everything you have said comes off as gift grabby (extremely so). If you have to have a shower in order to get by then you can't afford to have children yet. You choose to procreate, it is beyond entitled to expect others to help provide for them, and then to dictate how people spend their money on you is beyond astounding to me. I get significant student loan debt, between my DH and I we have more than our fair share, that doesn't mean everyone else needs to finance my child. You choose to go to school for 12 years, and have children on a limited income. It still makes your attitude and invitation tacky.
I agree that people shouldn't have children until they are financially stable; however, like she said she is over 40 and already has had a rough time trying for kids throughout the years. I think she is an exception considering she shouldn't wait much longer. If someone told me I shouldn't have another child simply because money is tight, and I knew this was my last chance, I wouldn't listen. A persons financial situation can always improve but she may only have one shot left for another child...
----------------------- She also said she will have 12+ years if higher education. At some point you have to have priorities. Either have kids earlier, put money away in anticipation, or make other sacrafices. Just because she choose to pursuse 12 years of education does not make others in her life responsible for financing her children. In addition she already has 1 child who is younge, what is the need for another shower? Again it is no one's fault if her things are not sex nuteral, or if she no longer has the baby stuff (and frankly who cares if a girl has a blue stroller)
Well I am over 40 and this is my second child after having 7 pregnancies - 5 miscarriages (3 before our first live born and 2 before this one) and one living child who is now 4 years old. My first was a girl (4 year old) and this one is a boy.
Different sex and probably my last. Though if it were up to us we'd like another one...
I'm in the northeast and everyone I know here had a sprinkle with their second even if it was a second child of the same gender! I have two girlfriends who both had boys as first horns and then had boys again 2 years later and they both had sprinkles. And another girlfriend who had a daughter and then a boy three years later and she had a second shower! So I'm not nervous about a sprinkle for a second baby who is a different gender four years later!
I also send $50 gift cards to the mommies who are extended family who didn't even invite me to their showers. Why? Because all parents need Help and it's the right thing to do!
My mom threw me a HUGE shower 4 years ago with DD at a beautiful banquet hall. And the whole works... A wishing well, games, gorgeous three tier cake, tons of homemade Italian cookies and desserts, tons of prizes, big shower display and party table. It was amazing and at least 50 women which to me is a lot!
Now 4 years later I'm having a BOY!! and after experiencing 2 miscarriages including one at 12 weeks after a heartbeat right before we got pregnant with this one. We also just lost my father in law unexpectedly in April which was a heart breaker. He would have flipped out to know we were pregnant and then to know it was a boy!
My mom said we should just do a sprinkle so just a small get together. A sit down dinner with dessert at a local Italian ristorante. Just inviting about 20 close family members. So really I wouldn't even be embarrassed if they judged me because we all judge each other anyway lol!
No coworkers or neighbors etc. I don't care if five or fifteen show up. It's just nice and a nice dinner and dessert. I also do not need anything except maybe a new infant car seat that we honestly can't afford right now and of course diapers and wipes!!! We don't need books we have a ton from DD. We don't need clothes I have loads of hand me downs from a girlfriend coming my way and I already bought a ton of newborn and 3-9 month outfits at carters and osh kosh already.
We don't have a nursery to prepare because we only have a small two bedroom home for now and I am a graduate student so we can't afford a bigger home or to build an addition until I actually get a real job in academia when junior is about three years old! So there's nothing to decorate that's kind of a downer but baby will co-sleep with us any way and we have a bassinet and swing and stroller from DD that we can use. Jeepers DD doesn't even use her own room at 4 she still co sleeps with us anyway lol.
Anyway we are doing a sprinkle. If people we invite want to judge. Let them. Wha can we do. We don't have much and we need a little help even if it doesn't look that way on the outside. Nobody knows our financial situation or our ridiculous debt load but it doesn't take a genius to figure out 12+ years of higher education ain't cheap and a call center salary doesn't exactly cut it when you have a mortgage and kids.
I breastfeed so don't need bottles except for one or two and already have a pump from DD. also heard pumps are now covered under affordable care act so will look into a new one possibly with my insurance.
So that's that. My mom said she wanted to put gift cards appreciated on the invite for little things because we are getting all those hand me downs already and don't really need clothes etc.
I found some little rhyming poems to put on there and I'm also doing a diaper raffle too because it's fun! I will make three awesome raffle baskets (including a Lilly Pulitzer basket which I would love to win lol!) I'm a Yankee in the Northeast. Not sure if it tacky or not and don't really care (like a true yank I guess lol).
We'll make tons of goodies and cookies for giving to guests to take home as well and have a nice cake too. It's just a dinner with dessert for two hours so it won't be torture for anyone and it's a chance to get together.
I reworded and customized the invite to say let's celebrate the new arrival instead of "celebrate mommy" because I really don't need to be celebrated and besides it took two to make this little guy and it's the little guy who needs the diapers and other little things.
I'm the oldest and the first to have both the first kid and the first to have baby #2 so I guess I kind of set the precedent. If I was having another girl I would still do a small sprinkle too but request no gifts.
Here's a link to the website I found with little poems for any occasion.
Our invite says: Target or Amazon, BabiesRUs, Please don't feel obligated to make a big fuss! Any gift card appreciated by parents to be, so they will be ready for what baby boy needs.
I don't know. I hope it doesn't seem grabby or tacky. but what can you do. As an older mum this is most likely my last kid. I had a late start in life but it was worth the wait!!! And if we are blessed to have a third.... well we've got it covered with both genders already so we're good!
Should still celebrate baby though! I think most women will appreciate the opportunity to get together for a nice dinner to chat and catch up! And if they don't well pooh on them!
Tl;dr
If you can't afford an infant car seat or essentials it seems a little ridiculous to host a sit down dinner at a restaurant. And asking for gift cards in your invite is incredibly rude, gift grabby and tacky.
Also, I'm honestly a bit confused on how in the same post you say you can't afford a car seat but you send $50 gift cards to extended family members who are expecting. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like your issue isn't necessarily the income you have, but how you manage it. You're making raffle baskets including a Lilly Pulitzer one which isn't cheap, having a shower at what sounds like a relatively fancy restaurant which isn't cheap.
I personally have no issue with showers for moms (even if it's not their first) who are struggling to make ends meet. I'm happy to help someone out in need. However, if they aren't prioritizing cutting expenses to provide as much for their children as possible, that's when it really rubs me wrong.
Well I am over 40 and this is my second child after having 7 pregnancies - 5 miscarriages (3 before our first live born and 2 before this one) and one living child who is now 4 years old. My first was a girl (4 year old) and this one is a boy.
Different sex and probably my last. Though if it were up to us we'd like another one...
I'm in the northeast and everyone I know here had a sprinkle with their second even if it was a second child of the same gender! I have two girlfriends who both had boys as first horns and then had boys again 2 years later and they both had sprinkles. And another girlfriend who had a daughter and then a boy three years later and she had a second shower! So I'm not nervous about a sprinkle for a second baby who is a different gender four years later!
I also send $50 gift cards to the mommies who are extended family who didn't even invite me to their showers. Why? Because all parents need Help and it's the right thing to do!
My mom threw me a HUGE shower 4 years ago with DD at a beautiful banquet hall. And the whole works... A wishing well, games, gorgeous three tier cake, tons of homemade Italian cookies and desserts, tons of prizes, big shower display and party table. It was amazing and at least 50 women which to me is a lot!
Now 4 years later I'm having a BOY!! and after experiencing 2 miscarriages including one at 12 weeks after a heartbeat right before we got pregnant with this one. We also just lost my father in law unexpectedly in April which was a heart breaker. He would have flipped out to know we were pregnant and then to know it was a boy!
My mom said we should just do a sprinkle so just a small get together. A sit down dinner with dessert at a local Italian ristorante. Just inviting about 20 close family members. So really I wouldn't even be embarrassed if they judged me because we all judge each other anyway lol!
No coworkers or neighbors etc. I don't care if five or fifteen show up. It's just nice and a nice dinner and dessert. I also do not need anything except maybe a new infant car seat that we honestly can't afford right now and of course diapers and wipes!!! We don't need books we have a ton from DD. We don't need clothes I have loads of hand me downs from a girlfriend coming my way and I already bought a ton of newborn and 3-9 month outfits at carters and osh kosh already.
We don't have a nursery to prepare because we only have a small two bedroom home for now and I am a graduate student so we can't afford a bigger home or to build an addition until I actually get a real job in academia when junior is about three years old! So there's nothing to decorate that's kind of a downer but baby will co-sleep with us any way and we have a bassinet and swing and stroller from DD that we can use. Jeepers DD doesn't even use her own room at 4 she still co sleeps with us anyway lol.
Anyway we are doing a sprinkle. If people we invite want to judge. Let them. Wha can we do. We don't have much and we need a little help even if it doesn't look that way on the outside. Nobody knows our financial situation or our ridiculous debt load but it doesn't take a genius to figure out 12+ years of higher education ain't cheap and a call center salary doesn't exactly cut it when you have a mortgage and kids.
I breastfeed so don't need bottles except for one or two and already have a pump from DD. also heard pumps are now covered under affordable care act so will look into a new one possibly with my insurance.
So that's that. My mom said she wanted to put gift cards appreciated on the invite for little things because we are getting all those hand me downs already and don't really need clothes etc.
I found some little rhyming poems to put on there and I'm also doing a diaper raffle too because it's fun! I will make three awesome raffle baskets (including a Lilly Pulitzer basket which I would love to win lol!) I'm a Yankee in the Northeast. Not sure if it tacky or not and don't really care (like a true yank I guess lol).
We'll make tons of goodies and cookies for giving to guests to take home as well and have a nice cake too. It's just a dinner with dessert for two hours so it won't be torture for anyone and it's a chance to get together.
I reworded and customized the invite to say let's celebrate the new arrival instead of "celebrate mommy" because I really don't need to be celebrated and besides it took two to make this little guy and it's the little guy who needs the diapers and other little things.
I'm the oldest and the first to have both the first kid and the first to have baby #2 so I guess I kind of set the precedent. If I was having another girl I would still do a small sprinkle too but request no gifts.
Here's a link to the website I found with little poems for any occasion.
Our invite says: Target or Amazon, BabiesRUs, Please don't feel obligated to make a big fuss! Any gift card appreciated by parents to be, so they will be ready for what baby boy needs.
I don't know. I hope it doesn't seem grabby or tacky. but what can you do. As an older mum this is most likely my last kid. I had a late start in life but it was worth the wait!!! And if we are blessed to have a third.... well we've got it covered with both genders already so we're good!
Should still celebrate baby though! I think most women will appreciate the opportunity to get together for a nice dinner to chat and catch up! And if they don't well pooh on them!
Tl;dr
If you can't afford an infant car seat or essentials it seems a little ridiculous to host a sit down dinner at a restaurant. And asking for gift cards in your invite is incredibly rude, gift grabby and tacky.
Also, I'm honestly a bit confused on how in the same post you say you can't afford a car seat but you send $50 gift cards to extended family members who are expecting. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like your issue isn't necessarily the income you have, but how you manage it. You're making raffle baskets including a Lilly Pulitzer one which isn't cheap, having a shower at what sounds like a relatively fancy restaurant which isn't cheap.
I personally have no issue with showers for moms (even if it's not their first) who are struggling to make ends meet. I'm happy to help someone out in need. However, if they aren't prioritizing cutting expenses to provide as much for their children as possible, that's when it really rubs me wrong.
Let me just say my husband got a nice car seat at babies r us clearance for $35.. It was usually a $130 car seat.. It's a graco click connect and my mom got a stroller that was a floor model they were selling for $65 that is also graco click connect... It said the original price was like $200 something..(I dont remember off the top of my head I just remember it being a good deal) If you look at clearance sections you can find great deals ANYWHERE you just have to look.. So saying you can't afford a car seat is getting to me.. If you can afford to go get gift cards for people but can't take the time to look for something important for your child there is something wrong there... It may not be the exact car seat you want but for a good price I wouldn't be too picky...
Edit because it posted half of my post before I was ready!!
Why do people keep saying that they are having a second shower because the new baby is a different sex? Is there a rule somewhere that if your second child is a different sex that your family and friends are required to buy you shit?
Why do people keep saying that they are having a second shower because the new baby is a different sex? Is there a rule somewhere that if your second child is a different sex that your family and friends are required to buy you shit?
Because that along with the "my first was x years apart" justifies it to themselves that shaking their friends and family down for more stuff is totes okay. Cuz every baby deserves to be celebrated y'all so give me all the presents.
While I totally agree with you ladies I am still shook up at the " if you aren't finacially stable don't have kids". Are we still on this? Why is it that only the rich elite should get to procreate while the rest of us are shunned on. I am by no means rich but my husband and I made it by. He lost his job in June. Should I have been expected to abort my baby now that I can no longer afford it? I get that continuing to procreate when it is obvious that you can't take care of the ones you've got is reckless but don't lump all us in the same category. I am fully aware of the financial burden that having kids creates and I don't ask anyone for handouts. I love my children and would do anything for them. Just because I can't afford to take them to Disneyland at a moments notice does not make me a bad parent.
While I totally agree with you ladies I am still shook up at the " if you aren't finacially stable don't have kids". Are we still on this? Why is it that only the rich elite should get to procreate while the rest of us are shunned on. I am by no means rich but my husband and I made it by. He lost his job in June. Should I have been expected to abort my baby now that I can no longer afford it? I get that continuing to procreate when it is obvious that you can't take care of the ones you've got is reckless but don't lump all us in the same category. I am fully aware of the financial burden that having kids creates and I don't ask anyone for handouts. I love my children and would do anything for them. Just because I can't afford to take them to Disneyland at a moments notice does not make me a bad parent.
No one is saying you Have to be rich or dont procreate. There's a huge difference between not affording Disneyland and not affording a car seat. Please tell me you recognize that.
While I totally agree with you ladies I am still shook up at the " if you aren't finacially stable don't have kids". Are we still on this? Why is it that only the rich elite should get to procreate while the rest of us are shunned on. I am by no means rich but my husband and I made it by. He lost his job in June. Should I have been expected to abort my baby now that I can no longer afford it? I get that continuing to procreate when it is obvious that you can't take care of the ones you've got is reckless but don't lump all us in the same category. I am fully aware of the financial burden that having kids creates and I don't ask anyone for handouts. I love my children and would do anything for them. Just because I can't afford to take them to Disneyland at a moments notice does not make me a bad parent.
No one is saying you Have to be rich or dont procreate. There's a huge difference between not affording Disneyland and not affording a car seat. Please tell me you recognize that.
Yes yes I do. It's just that I am tired of hearing people put down those who don't have much money. Now I don't think its a good idea to have kids if you can't afford the necessities, but I will have to admit sometimes shit happens and we end up with an unexpected "present". Right now I'm struggling really hard with making ends meet and with this affecting my marriage and causing massive depression I guess the last thing I want to hear is " then you shouldn't have gotten pregnant". I'm pretty much taking it personally if that makes sense. Thankfully I have all the big stuff from my last 2 so I don't have to worry about making any big purchases.
While I totally agree with you ladies I am still shook up at the " if you aren't finacially stable don't have kids". Are we still on this? Why is it that only the rich elite should get to procreate while the rest of us are shunned on. I am by no means rich but my husband and I made it by. He lost his job in June. Should I have been expected to abort my baby now that I can no longer afford it? I get that continuing to procreate when it is obvious that you can't take care of the ones you've got is reckless but don't lump all us in the same category. I am fully aware of the financial burden that having kids creates and I don't ask anyone for handouts. I love my children and would do anything for them. Just because I can't afford to take them to Disneyland at a moments notice does not make me a bad parent.
No one is saying you Have to be rich or dont procreate. There's a huge difference between not affording Disneyland and not affording a car seat. Please tell me you recognize that.
Yes yes I do. It's just that I am tired of hearing people put down those who don't have much money. Now I don't think its a good idea to have kids if you can't afford the necessities, but I will have to admit sometimes shit happens and we end up with an unexpected "present". Right now I'm struggling really hard with making ends meet and with this affecting my marriage and causing massive depression I guess the last thing I want to hear is " then you shouldn't have gotten pregnant". I'm pretty much taking it personally if that makes sense. Thankfully I have all the big stuff from my last 2 so I don't have to worry about making any big purchases.
I truly am sorry for what you are going through. I can't imagine how difficult that must be. However these posts aren't directed towards you and your situation is obviously much different. Please try not to take it personally.
This thread went from bad to worse. Nothing makes my blood boil more than an entitled person expecting others to buy her stuff to support her family after there was already a "huge shower" for #1 followed by a personal decision to continue having more kids despite an inability to buy so much as the basic needs. My aunt wanted more than one child, but knew she couldn't afford to do so. My cousin is an only child as result, but was well supported by my aunt as result of her mature decision. I would love a dozen kids, but I can't afford that obviously and I know my financial limits.
While I totally agree with you ladies I am still shook up at the " if you aren't finacially stable don't have kids". Are we still on this? Why is it that only the rich elite should get to procreate while the rest of us are shunned on. I am by no means rich but my husband and I made it by. He lost his job in June. Should I have been expected to abort my baby now that I can no longer afford it? I get that continuing to procreate when it is obvious that you can't take care of the ones you've got is reckless but don't lump all us in the same category. I am fully aware of the financial burden that having kids creates and I don't ask anyone for handouts. I love my children and would do anything for them. Just because I can't afford to take them to Disneyland at a moments notice does not make me a bad parent.
No one is saying you Have to be rich or dont procreate. There's a huge difference between not affording Disneyland and not affording a car seat. Please tell me you recognize that.
Yes yes I do. It's just that I am tired of hearing people put down those who don't have much money. Now I don't think its a good idea to have kids if you can't afford the necessities, but I will have to admit sometimes shit happens and we end up with an unexpected "present". Right now I'm struggling really hard with making ends meet and with this affecting my marriage and causing massive depression I guess the last thing I want to hear is " then you shouldn't have gotten pregnant". I'm pretty much taking it personally if that makes sense. Thankfully I have all the big stuff from my last 2 so I don't have to worry about making any big purchases.
I truly am sorry for what you are going through. I can't imagine how difficult that must be. However these posts aren't directed towards you and your situation is obviously much different. Please try not to take it personally.
I hope things start to look up for you soon.
I know I know. Sigh I guess I'm just feeling the pressure of trying to make this all work out. Honestly this is about the only sore spot I have. I really do love this site and all the awesome ladies but being someone stuck in poverty sucks, and whenever someone bashes ( not necessarily here just in general) people who don't have a lot of money I get my back up. It's all cool though.
While I totally agree with you ladies I am still shook up at the " if you aren't finacially stable don't have kids". Are we still on this? Why is it that only the rich elite should get to procreate while the rest of us are shunned on. I am by no means rich but my husband and I made it by. He lost his job in June. Should I have been expected to abort my baby now that I can no longer afford it? I get that continuing to procreate when it is obvious that you can't take care of the ones you've got is reckless but don't lump all us in the same category. I am fully aware of the financial burden that having kids creates and I don't ask anyone for handouts. I love my children and would do anything for them. Just because I can't afford to take them to Disneyland at a moments notice does not make me a bad parent.
You are kind of going off the deep end here. There is a difference between knowing you can't afford basics, but choosing to have additional children with the expectation that people will finance your children through multiple showers. Versus loosing a stable source of income. Which is the point multiple posters made. NO ONE said or implied that only "the rich elite" are allowed to haven children. I am not really sure about others but I would measure my parenting on the ability to raise a smart, caring, contributing member of society, not the number of times they go to Disney before their 18th birthday. Your twisting my words and others into something completely unrelated.
While I totally agree with you ladies I am still shook up at the " if you aren't finacially stable don't have kids". Are we still on this? Why is it that only the rich elite should get to procreate while the rest of us are shunned on. I am by no means rich but my husband and I made it by. He lost his job in June. Should I have been expected to abort my baby now that I can no longer afford it? I get that continuing to procreate when it is obvious that you can't take care of the ones you've got is reckless but don't lump all us in the same category. I am fully aware of the financial burden that having kids creates and I don't ask anyone for handouts. I love my children and would do anything for them. Just because I can't afford to take them to Disneyland at a moments notice does not make me a bad parent.
You are kind of going off the deep end here. There is a difference between knowing you can't afford basics, but choosing to have additional children with the expectation that people will finance your children through multiple showers. Versus loosing a stable source of income. Which is the point multiple posters made. NO ONE said or implied that only "the rich elite" are allowed to haven children. I am not really sure about others but I would measure my parenting on the ability to raise a smart, caring, contributing member of society, not the number of times they go to Disney before their 18th birthday. Your twisting my words and others into something completely unrelated.
Um . . . Did you read the convo I was having with @DylansCandyBar? Cause the whole situation has pretty much been diffused. I'm not a person to get too upset about most things.
@ash413 I am sorry I flew off the handle btw. I just took it too personally and quite honestly the comment I made is causing me crazy anxiety. I really really don't like to rock the boat or even make slightly angry comments online. Anyway I know what you're saying and sorry I got upset.
Re: Baby shower for second baby
Whaaaaa? I can't.
Also, please STOP specifying what type of gifts you want - it is rude to tell people how to spend their money on you (unless they ask). If people want to buy you something other than a gift card or book or whatever, then they can - it's their money.
Married 9/28/13
DS born 11/12/15
EDD 8/13/18
If you have to have a shower in order to get by then you can't afford to have children yet. You choose to procreate, it is beyond entitled to expect others to help provide for them, and then to dictate how people spend their money on you is beyond astounding to me.
I get significant student loan debt, between my DH and I we have more than our fair share, that doesn't mean everyone else needs to finance my child.
You choose to go to school for 12 years, and have children on a limited income. It still makes your attitude and invitation tacky.
I agree that people shouldn't have children until they are financially stable; however, like she said she is over 40 and already has had a rough time trying for kids throughout the years. I think she is an exception considering she shouldn't wait much longer. If someone told me I shouldn't have another child simply because money is tight, and I knew this was my last chance, I wouldn't listen. A persons financial situation can always improve but she may only have one shot left for another child...
If you can't afford an infant car seat or essentials it seems a little ridiculous to host a sit down dinner at a restaurant. And asking for gift cards in your invite is incredibly rude, gift grabby and tacky.
She also said she will have 12+ years if higher education. At some point you have to have priorities. Either have kids earlier, put money away in anticipation, or make other sacrafices. Just because she choose to pursuse 12 years of education does not make others in her life responsible for financing her children. In addition she already has 1 child who is younge, what is the need for another shower? Again it is no one's fault if her things are not sex nuteral, or if she no longer has the baby stuff (and frankly who cares if a girl has a blue stroller)
End of the day your child=your responsibility
I personally have no issue with showers for moms (even if it's not their first) who are struggling to make ends meet. I'm happy to help someone out in need. However, if they aren't prioritizing cutting expenses to provide as much for their children as possible, that's when it really rubs me wrong.
Let me just say my husband got a nice car seat at babies r us clearance for $35.. It was usually a $130 car seat.. It's a graco click connect and my mom got a stroller that was a floor model they were selling for $65 that is also graco click connect... It said the original price was like $200 something..(I dont remember off the top of my head I just remember it being a good deal) If you look at clearance sections you can find great deals ANYWHERE you just have to look.. So saying you can't afford a car seat is getting to me.. If you can afford to go get gift cards for people but can't take the time to look for something important for your child there is something wrong there... It may not be the exact car seat you want but for a good price I wouldn't be too picky...
Edit because it posted half of my post before I was ready!!
Cuz every baby deserves to be celebrated y'all so give me all the presents.
I hope things start to look up for you soon.
NO ONE said or implied that only "the rich elite" are allowed to haven children. I am not really sure about others but I would measure my parenting on the ability to raise a smart, caring, contributing member of society, not the number of times they go to Disney before their 18th birthday. Your twisting my words and others into something completely unrelated.