I am new here and hate that this is where I have ended up but here I am. I had a MMC at 12w3d. I had just found out it was a baby boy and I was so excited. Went in for my 12 week check up and they found no hb. Devastated does not even describe how my husband and I felt. I also have a DD and DS so this was my third pregnancy and I never saw this coming! I am almost three weeks out from my D&C and it has not gotten much easier to handle. I am trying but it is killing me being around pregnant coworkers and my best friend is about to be a grandma. Yes she is ten years older than me. She is soooo exited and would never mean to hurt me but today she was gushing about feeling the baby kicking when she was with her daughter last night. Oh I held the tears in but I had a major breakdown after she left. Why can't I handle this yet?? I feel like I should be able to take this by now but I am still falling to peaces and I never know what is going to set me off. I hate feeling so sad all the time but I just kept thinking about how I could have been feeling my baby by now. Oh how this hurts....so sorry for the long rant.