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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
prettypiggy
member
Cosleeping not by choice or safely guilt...
prettypiggy
member
My little one will go down for 3 to 5 hours initially and will sleep contently in his crib. This usually takes a great deal of effort that can last from a hr to two. Our routine consists of feeding lavender lotion and the husband usually giving a last bottle or pacifier while holding. The past 4 to 5 nights my LO has been refusing to sleep after his initial rest. He is wide awake and wants to play. He has been getting up around 3 or 4 and will not go back down. He finally shows some interest in resting early in the morning but not very much and at that pt he is usually woken by the dog or dh leaving for work. I am completely on night duty by myself when he gets up. He generally wants to eat and then play. If I try to walk and rock him he will smile and giggling. He is 7 weeks old. While I nurse he does get sleepy but is wide awake if I try and move him to the crib or bassinet. My husband has been sleeping on couch so he can rest and he doesn't want me to buy a snugglenest as eventually he wants his bed back. I have fallened asleep w him in the bed out of sheer exhaustion several times now. I'm terrified that I could harm him bc we don't have a co sleeping plan and there are blankets and pillows. He is super close to me and I keep my arms around him. He seems to like me breathing on hi,. II generally pick him up in the hopes that I can lay w him until he goes down but this rarely happens. I have thought about the rock and play but I'm afraid my nut of a dog will jump on it and will then need to be crated. I never know when I will get a good nights sleep again. The husband is reluctant to help even on weekends. I know what is happening is not sustainable. Little one also rarely naps consistently or if he does it is a 20 min catnap. In short I doubt he sleeps 12 hrs per day.. Sorry for rambling.
Re: Cosleeping not by choice or safely guilt...
Unfortunately this is all pretty normal so know that you aren't doing anything wrong. Everything with young babies is trial and error so you just have to keep trying different things. My first child slept best swaddled and on a Boppy Newborn Lounger but my second slept like a champ in the RnP.
Also, it's very common for babies to be up for an hour in the night, ready to party. Once they get a little older, MOTN feedings will be much quicker but right now your LO is all turned around. You really just have to power through it. My husband never helped in the MOTN (that was my choice) but he helps plenty of other times and hopefully your husband will help too. You absolutely need help.
Most babies HATE sleeping flat in a crib or a bassinet. Moms always assume their baby will sleep in a bassinet when they are newborns but they quickly find out that most babies don't sleep well that way. Try the RnP and keep your dog away if you are worried.
If you aren't swaddling I would recommend you start. A nice tight swaddle. Most babies sleep so much better when they are swaddled.
Short naps are also common with babies. Hell, my 9 month old still has crappy naps. Once you adjust your expectations and try to go with the flow a little more it might alleviate some of your frustrations. It's hard being a FTM because you don't know what is normal and everything can seem awful.
For naps, try a swing, a vibrating chair, the RnP, anything you can that you think will work. My biggest piece of advice is DO NOT WORRY ABOUT CREATING BAD HABITS. That won't happen right now. Just do what you have to do to survive and worry about the rest later.
I would get a rock n play. It changed my life. LO slept so much better in it. We also have a crazy dog and once he sniffed it a few times, he got over the excitement of it.
Why isn't your H helping out? That would be completely unacceptable in my house.
You absolutely need help and hopefully you can find someone who can help you. Not to be a downer or to frighten you but with my first I didn't ask/demand and my husband didn't help at night either and I suffered terribly from PPD which settled in after a couple months of no sleep and constantly feeding and taking care o everything. Please find some help for your sanity.
On the sleeping topic I bought a used mamaroo "swing" and my LO loves it over the handmade family cradle. If she doesn't sleep in that she sleeps in the bed with me or on my chest while I'm surrounded by pillows on the edge of the bed to create a bumper.
You can't create a bad habit just yet. It is so important for you and for baby to be near each other. It is a safe, comforting feeling for baby and it creates a very strong emotional bond between the two of you.