Ugh...mother problems

melody27

My mother has been getting on my last nerve lately. When she doesn't get her way, she won't talk to me and makes plans without discussing it with me. We made a baby registry, but she ignored it completely and got us random stuff that we don't need and/or won't use. When I asked her about taking something back we wouldn't use she got offended and upset and tried to guilt trip me to keep it, but that seems like a huge waste of money. When I tried to tell her it would be much better spent going towards things we need (like the mattress or crib) she just wanted to tell me she didn't have the money to help out. Also, I'm due August 17 and she has to report for work on August 19...so we mentioned to her that it might be easier for her to fly out to visit (coming cross country) for thanksgiving instead of now when we're not sure when baby will even show up...but now she's upset I would even mention that and hasn't spoken to me about it since. Usually when this happens she just makes her plans to do what she wants and doesn't tell us what's going on until the last minute, but I really hope this isn't the case this time as well. I'm so annoyed with the guilt tripping she puts me through!!

classychik85

I completely understand ...mother's and mother in laws suck right now they mean well but they know how to get to us.....I found that the best way to deal with my mother is just give in to little things and make your own plans and don't discuss them with her....for example my mother is up my ass right now wanting to make sure she is in the room with me (not happening) so I let her do things here and there or get her opinions about things to get her involved and so far it's working...I'm also due august 17th but look on the bright side at least she doesn't live close

MouseMama817

This sucks, I'm sorry. If it were me I would keep 1 or 2 gifts that she'd me able to see when she was over and I'd exchange the rest. You don't have to discuss that with the gift giver, just write a nice thank you card and then do what works best for you.
As far as her visit, I completely agree it's unwise to schedule a cross country, 2 day visit based on the due date since they're often wrong. If she insists in coming and is going to make a big deal, let her come. She can only be upset with herself if it's a wasted trip.

cosplaymom

Explain to her "due date" is just an average, not a terminal date. You have a more than 50% chance of naturally having the baby after that date., not before.

Miz_Liz

Obviously I do not know you or your mom and the history between the two of you. I also do not know what the gifts were that she bought that you want to return; however I will say that it does sound like you rained on her parade a lot during your conversation with her. She may have been very excited about what she bought you and then you told her you did not want or like it and wanted to return it (and it sounds like basically told her it was a waste of money and where you would rather she spend her money). Then you told her she should wait until her grandchild is 3 months old to come and see him/her. If I were your mother, I would be mad at you too. Most grandparents who have the ability want to see their grandchild when they are brand new, tiny, squishy, cuddly, cute (not that they won't be all of these things at 3 months, but it is different). They want to be able to bond too and share in that excitement, after all, you are HER baby and this is HER baby's baby. If she wants to spend a lot of money on a last minute plane ticket once baby comes, why not let her? If you don't want her staying with you because of issues I don't know about, why not just suggest a hotel to her? Again, I don't know the whole history, but based on your post, I think you may owe your mom an apology, not the other way around.

toccoaparker

^^^this.