January 2016 Moms
nickicb7
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Grrrrrrrr MIL Rant
nickicb7
member
so I am not usually one to complain about my MIL. My in-laws are very kind, loving, christian people. And I know today she didn't mean anything negative by her words or actions, but man did she make my blood boil.
We were saying hi to them at church, after service, and she was introducing is to some random strangers. Then she looks at me and says "ohh you're showing!" I immediately got my back up and responded, nope "that's just my fat" the strangers just looked at us and said "oh you're in the family way?" - this after we explicitly told my in-laws not to share with anyone. We have just started telling our friends and have yet to tell them they could share.
Beyond the telling strangers was the fact that I am insanely self conscious about my weight. I've already mentioned on here before that I lost 75lbs 10 years ago and have kept it off. However I have always stayed a little soft in my mid section from all the excess skin. And since becoming pregnant my little pouch above my belly button has become more noticeable from my insides shifting up, but by no means is it an actual bump or proof of pregnancy. I literally said to my husband "we are leaving now" and b-lined it to the car. I was so embarrassed and felt so uncomfortable after. I already feel uncomfortable in all my clothes other than yoga pants. So home to yoga pants I go.
Ugh. I know this isn't the end of the world, but my emotions got the best of me. Thanks for being here to let me rant!
We were saying hi to them at church, after service, and she was introducing is to some random strangers. Then she looks at me and says "ohh you're showing!" I immediately got my back up and responded, nope "that's just my fat" the strangers just looked at us and said "oh you're in the family way?" - this after we explicitly told my in-laws not to share with anyone. We have just started telling our friends and have yet to tell them they could share.
Beyond the telling strangers was the fact that I am insanely self conscious about my weight. I've already mentioned on here before that I lost 75lbs 10 years ago and have kept it off. However I have always stayed a little soft in my mid section from all the excess skin. And since becoming pregnant my little pouch above my belly button has become more noticeable from my insides shifting up, but by no means is it an actual bump or proof of pregnancy. I literally said to my husband "we are leaving now" and b-lined it to the car. I was so embarrassed and felt so uncomfortable after. I already feel uncomfortable in all my clothes other than yoga pants. So home to yoga pants I go.
Ugh. I know this isn't the end of the world, but my emotions got the best of me. Thanks for being here to let me rant!
STM - EDD June 24 '18
DD - January 2016
DD - January 2016
Re: Grrrrrrrr MIL Rant
Maybe have your husband remind MIL that you were not ready for it to be public knowledge, and if you think she'd empathize, have him tell her how her comment made you feel. Sometimes people just don't realize how a seemingly innocent comment can really upset pregnant ladies.
Lean on your husband. He talked to his mom and asked her to maybe not talk about it at every opportunity as we we still anxious about it. Good luck darlin! It's hard when you know intentions are good and you love someone and they do stuff that bugs you.
I even had a coworker (whose wife was pg same time as me) tell me that he thought people only kept the name a secret when it was a weird or bad one. He was trying to get me to tell, but all that comment did was tick me off. [-X
I am so much more anxious about teller my mother than my MIL. My MIL lives on the other side of the world so I imagine it will be more manageable.
I also hear you with body image issues. I've had an eating disorder problem in the past, and even though we're probably all starting to get the beginnings of the bumps from everything shifting around in there, I can't tell you how often DH has to say to me "you're pregnant, your shape is going to change for a bit, it's OKAY" when I get worked up over how I look in certain clothes now. It's hard because I know there's a little spud in there doing its thing, but until it's rounded out and obviously a pregnant shape and not just larger, I just feel self-conscious about it.
I found out later that DH wrote his mom a text asking her to avoid similar comments in the future. Explaining that I am very self con opus about my body. Love him!
DD - January 2016
I'm sorry to hear your MIL is so difficult. I wish you a lot of luck! I don't know how women deal with such controlling MIL's. All the power to you ladies.
DD - January 2016
She also suggested we do a big gender reveal party. She suggested it once to DH and he said no and then suggested it to me through a text a couple of hours later. I also said no. Her response? "Well, we can talk about it later."
I just wish she would back off and let us enjoy OUR baby, OUR pregnancies and respect our choices on what we want and don't want to do.
UGH!!
<br><a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1d7657" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0" /></a>
I feel ya on the body image thing. I went from a size 10 to a size 4 shortly after meeting my DH 7 years ago and have stayed that way with a lot of work. (college fat is real!) Belly is still plump and I'm not exactly thinly built anyways. I'm all of 4 foot 11 inches and stocky with muscle from growing up on a farm and my past jobs working cattle and horses and shoeing horses.
When I first met MIL she told my DH that he did always liked the thick girls. I'm stocky and wrangle 1200 pound horses daily and buck 75 pound hay bales over my head and into a barn loft.
DD - January 2016