Pregnant after a Loss

When did you announce?

We are scheduled for our third ultrasound on Tuesday at which time we will be 8w5d. We have one DD that was an uncomplicated pregnancy, followed by a mmc at 9w6d. We had sub par support from family after our loss, mainly from my in laws plus my mom was lucky enough to have 6 uncomplicated pregnancies so she doesn't really understand. I would like to surprise everyone that we are expecting again so soon and in the last week, I have almost slipped twice in conversation. My mom asked when my friend was due and I almost said the week before us, oops! So, we had planned to wait until after 12 weeks to announce, but now I am thinking if we have a good scan on Tuesday we might tell family. They will be 100% excited, my concern is if it happens again, I am sure we will have similar 'support'. If we lose this baby too, we would still tell our parents, I just don't know that telling them we are pregnant now will get us the support I get from people that have walked in our shoes. So, to tell now or wait, risking a slip up, until 12weeks??

Re: When did you announce?

  • We told our parents around 11 weeks and then we really didn't tell anyone else. We figured that people would begin to figure it out as my baby bump grew.
  • MWoodsideMWoodside member
    edited July 2015
    For my rainbow pregnancy we announced at 20 weeks. My loss was at 14 weeks so we waited until after the a/s.

    It is VERY hard for me to hide it so long! My body shows pg super early. With this pg (#4) I'm obviously looking pg at only 7w4d so I've had to get really creative with my work clothing already.

    DD1 born 5/24/10.

    Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.

    DD2 born 5/14/13.

    Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.

    Expecting someone new 4/17/17.
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  • Vets1Vets1 member
    We still haven't & I'm 20 weeks today. I delivered a stillborn at 20w4d last time so wanted to wait till after that point. Parents, my best friend & my boss know but that's about it. I'm not sure how many more floaty tops & dresses I can wear before it's just blatantly obvious!
  • Wow, you ladies have a much better filter than I do! Being that this is all I think and worry about, it is hard not to let it slip. I passed a clot this morning and had light bleeding, so calling OB tomorrow, but MIL and FIL came over today and wanted to go out to dinner. I sounded like a real jerk telling them I didn't feel well when I look perfectly fine. Whatever, eventually they will know why I didn't want to leave my couch.
  • MelJavMelJav member
    I had a loss this past fall. I'm
    Currently pregnant now at 10 wks. I already told everyone who is important. It's pointless to hide it from your close family and friends because if something does happen, they will know anyway and you are going to need the support. Plus, how in the world can u hide it this long??? At 6 weeks I was barfing and bloated and mean. Everyone knew anyway.
  • @MelJav I am very fortunate to have no pregnancy symptoms, I was the same with my DD. The baby we lost, I had some nausea and terrible heartburn, but nothing I couldn't hide. My mom said she always had terrible nausea all day, the entire pregnancy. Sorry you have it that bad, but in 30 weeks, it will all be worth it!
  • We lost our first daughter at 11 weeks. We had told our best friends, but we were waiting to tell our families and coworkers until 12 weeks. I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum and was absolutely miserable. When we lost her, I hated that we had to tell our loved ones with a 1-2 punch that we were pregnant and miscarrying. They couldn't process it fast enough and I needed support. This time, we told our families at 6 weeks at everyone else at 7+3 after our first ultrasound. I feel so much lighter and supported this time.
  • We decided to tell family now, then everyone else....eventually. I have to tell people at work because I work in healthcare and there are certain medicines I can't administer and some patients I can't care for. So, I always feel guilty telling work people first and feel better now that my mom knows before most work people. However, after our bleeding scare, I am on lifting restrictions, so more people will probably find out now. Thanks for your responses!
  • We told our parents and family after my 12 week ultrasound.  I had my first miscarriage at 9.5 weeks (after previously seeing a strong heartbeat), so I didn't really feel comfortable announcing after an earlier ultrasound.  However, I did tell quite a few friends (like 5 or 6 people) about my pregnancy early on at around 6-8 weeks because I needed the moral support after two prior losses.  I know it's probably a bit odd to tell friends before your parents, but my parents had a rough year between my prior losses and some other family issues, so I wanted to shield them from potential bad news as long as possible.
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