Mommy Separation Anxiety pleaaaase help — The Bump
Attachment Parenting

Mommy Separation Anxiety pleaaaase help

My baby boy is 5 months old and he's pretty much been with me since the day he was born as his father lives 2 hours away.

I actually haven't been working since he was born and it's time for me to start again but I'm having a real problem looking for day cares and such.
I'm terrified of leaving him for any amount of time . I don't want to miss anything. Like milestones he hits or quirky things that he does. It's makes me cry thinking about having to leave him. During the day.

Also he is exclusively breastfed and recently I've been trying to get him youse a bottle but he refuses. I left the hours for about 2 hours and he didn't eat the entire time even though he was screaming . What if he gets to daycare and they can't feed him ?

Please has anyone else gone through this ? I really can't imagine not being nearby for so long and I'm definitely freaking out .

Re: Mommy Separation Anxiety pleaaaase help

  • Do you have to start working FT again? It's definitely easier to slip back into work if you can start PT and work your way back up (if you need too). Lots of very good mothers send their kids to daycare every day, not because they want to, but because they have too. Your provider doesn't have to tell you about the "firsts" they may experience-- that way, in your mind, those milestones YOU see will be in your mind as their first. Your baby is soon getting to the age where he will start enjoying socializing with other babies. Daycare can be a wonderful and positive experience!
  • The problem is I must go to school during the day while he's at daycare and then I must work at night while he's with my mom . I just think its too much time away from him.

    I never thought about them not telling me about his firsts . ThAt actually makes a lot of sense and helps me feel better .

    And socializing is one of the things I know he probably needs because he isn't very responsive to people other than myself. I'm a bit stingy with my baby lol smh

    Thank you !
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  • If you have never been away from your baby at all, I would probably try practicing by being a way for a few hours, gradually increasing, so it's not just a complete shock to you both when you are suddenly gone all day and night!
  • Is there any way you can go to school after he gets a little older? Babyhood goes sooo fast! I can see why you are freaking out at the thought of being away from him all day. I am sure you will figure something out. Good luck!
  • I'm in the same boat. Me and my husband are doctors doing residency, he is already living on campus and comes to see us , twice a week. I'll be joining back when LO is 5 months old, and will be working full time. Though I'll up down daily , I'll get to see her only by supper each day. It makes me sad but my only other option is to leave my residency mid way which won't do any of us good.
    I'll be leaving baby with DH's mom, and have planned to FaceTime her to interact with baby whenever I get some free time.
    However plus point for people like us is that at least we're getting to see baby each day . Some of my colleagues have to leave their children with grandparents in other cities. ( Daycare is not an option where I live in India)

  • You could try a Breastfeeding bottle with him-we use minbie bottles.

    The separation is very hard but it dies get better. It's nice to know that these people are hopefully very knowledgable about babies and what they need to learn and grow. You could ask to hang out for a few hours there to get a feel for how it is there and how they treat the other children.

    I completely sympathize with you mama! It's tough but your baby will be fine!!
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