WWYD?! No one to watch LO while I'm in labor

lelesmom

so we just moved and I don't know anyone here yet. We moved to England and are pretty isolated on base. They have an hourly daycare that is from 7-5 on weekdays but unfortunately labor doesn't stick to a schedule. I really want DH there and in the room but he thinks I'll be okay with our 2 year old in the room... He doesn't quite understand that children tend to get scared when they see mommy in pain or hooked up to machines and the last thing I'm going to want is her in there crying or pitching a fit while I'm going through labor!!! Wtf would you do?! Plus there's always a chance of a C-section so I would be all alone:( I know it sounds selfish but having no family or friends besides my DH and 2 year don't leave me with many options. These last few weeks are closing in on me so I have to figure this out soon!

Thj417

Are you living on base? I'd start going to meet other spouses on base - from what I remember everyone is really helpful especially in a situation like this. Is that an option??

Edit: Or, ask hubs to ask coworkers what they're spouses are doing, invite some people over. Sooner the better. I think the best option is to make a friend, fast.

jesselayne8

Or utilize the daycare a few hours a week the next couple of weeks. Maybe one of the daycare people would be willing to be "on call" for you if you and your child get comfortable with one of them.

Lalala2326

I'd be looking around for a sitter of some sort in the area that you can get LO comfortable with that would be available at whatever hour. You might try giving the daycare a call, explain your situation and ask if they know anyone that might be interested. I don't think I'd worry so much about making friends with anyone who might be willing this late in the game, I'd just be looking for someone that is interested in getting a little extra money for that day/night that comes with excellent references that your LO would be okay with.

Heather&Mikey

NEVER EVER EVER should a young child be in a labor room.

JNOVA2015

I agree that you definitely don't want your child in L&D - it would be terrifying.

If it were me, I'd find a sitter who is willing to be on call for you and stay with your 2 yo for the duration of your labor. Is there an equivalent of care.com for England, or some Mother way to identify a sitter? I'd have the person over a few times before you deliver so your 2 yo gets comfortable with him/her.

xsunshinelady15

Most hospitals have age restrictions I am almost positive they won't allow a 2-yr old to be traumatized by being in the room. Doesn't sound right. I would look for a professionAl sitting service and hire someone with references. There must be options available. Kind of late in the game to research options so you should make this a top priority over all else. Good luck

ChristyM87

Heather&Mikey said:

NEVER EVER EVER should a young child be in a labor room.

Geez you don't need to scream. The OP already said that she doesn't want her daughter there

cosplaymom

Another option is to have DH watch your toddler and you could get a doula to support you during labor.

emmacake08

When I we were stationed in Japan with the marine corps they had a website set up for Military people to put up things for sale like craigslist and babysitting ads. I used to babysit for people through that site and would keep kids over night for parents that were in a bind. Is there an equivalent site over there for you to find a sitter or post an ad? Are you a church goer with someone you could ask there?

bpwife&mama

ChristyM87 said:

Heather&Mikey said:

NEVER EVER EVER should a young child be in a labor room.

Geez you don't need to scream. The OP already said that she doesn't want her daughter there

And what should she ask her two year old to do while she's in labor if no one can watch him??!? Calm down.

ChristyM87

bpwife&mama said:

ChristyM87 said:

Heather&Mikey said:

NEVER EVER EVER should a young child be in a labor room.

Geez you don't need to scream. The OP already said that she doesn't want her daughter there

And what should she ask her two year old to do while she's in labor if no one can watch him??!? Calm down.

I am calm, I am not the one screaming

laurasuzanne2006

My almost four year old is excited to see her brother born. She's been watching birth videos. We also have a doula to help and be with her in case we have an emergency

Miz_Liz

Do either of you have family who are planning an extended stay visit once baby arrives? If so, can you get them to come early and hopefully they will be there when you go into labor?

bpwife&mama

ChristyM87 said:

bpwife&mama said:

ChristyM87 said:

Heather&Mikey said:

NEVER EVER EVER should a young child be in a labor room.

Geez you don't need to scream. The OP already said that she doesn't want her daughter there

And what should she ask her two year old to do while she's in labor if no one can watch him??!? Calm down.

I am calm, I am not the one screaming

Oops quote fail, wasn't meant for you! Sorry!

bhargrave88

I'm in the same boat, except my dd has autism, and I can't just drop her off with family that lives here (I won't even ask them to walk my dog, let alone my child!) and the rest of my family and DHs family live out of town so DD doesn't know them well. DH is planning to keep her with us, unless my BFF is able to watch her. It depends on her work schedule. My BFF knows DD, how to handle her, her schedule, her quirks. She's the only person we really have. If she's not available, we will just have to wait and see. If not, I'm not going to traumatize my daughter by sending her with a random person. Screw that crap & screw what other people think. DH stands behind my head when I give birth anyway so it wouldn't be like she would see anything.
I've told DH I don't care if he has to take her home for awhile (except that we live an hour from the hospital!) but he refuses to leave me. We will see what happens lol. We can't be the only people out there without people available.. I've been agonizing over this since December

amylianne

I think the idea of getting a doula is a great one!! It's enough of a transitional time for your daughter, it would probably be nice for her to be with her dad rather than a stranger. However, in my extremely limited experience, all the ladies on base are very supportive of each other, so you may be able to find a new friend willing to come sleep on your couch if it's the middle of the night.

If it does end up a C-section, there is a chance you'll be on your own for a lot of it anyway. I know that's not super comforting, but I wish someone had told me that ahead of time. For me, they took the baby out and DH went with him to the nursery, so then I was by myself for the shaking, puking, etc. If you know that, you can mentally prepare for it, and maybe it wont be so bad. Or, if you hire a doula, you know she'll be there!

moxykel

Sometimes labour can be fast and furious and even the best made plans don't have time to take effect.
We've had pts come in with rip roaring labour and the significant other being in and out of the room with the kids. When it comes time for the active pushing to happen, we've entertained children with games and coloring at the nursing station while mom is delivering.

I still agree that trying to find a sitter or someone as an emergency back up is the best option, but if you are at the hospital with your toddler you would be the first one in this situation.

Best of Luck!