This month I will be turning 21. In April my husband and I found out we were pregnant. We had been trying for about 10 months. It was the best Easter present we could have received. Our appointment to hear our baby's heartbeat was May 4th. This was going to be a special day not only because we were going to hear the heartbeat, but also because we had been together for 3 years. About two weeks after we found out I went to the ER for bleeding and discovered I was miscarrying. It was the hardest thing to hear. We mourned the loss of our baby that stopped growing at four weeks. I was told over and over that I was young and we had time to try. It made me angry. Depressed. My husband and I have grown stronger since this experience, but since we started trying again I've had two menstrual cycles. It feels like we won't get pregnant ever. It's hard to be positive when my first baby was torn away. It's just hard to understand why this happened. Some days I need to vent and let people know there's still some sadness. I see it in my husband as well. He tries to be strong because he knows sometimes I can't be. I'm grateful for him. However he doesn't know exactly how I feel. Sometimes I just need someone who knows exactly how I'm feeling. Thank you all for letting me vent to you.
Re: It doesn't seem to get easier...
Warning: SIGGY LC
If your 10 mos TTC was well timed, then you may be in my situation that you have IF and MC. Most folks can relate to one or the other, but experiencing both ... not so much. I know. It meant my journey was 8 yrs. I was young (enough) when we started, but I wasn't when we had success. If you were getting pg in the time a typical 21-yo does (2 months), I might myself say "you're young" but with 10 mos TTC and a loss, my thought is that something is going on - if another 4 mos pass I would go to a dr. If there is a tolerable reason, e.g. one obstructed tube or low sperm count - ok, set your expectations accordingly (it will take time) and try, try again. If there is a reason that requires treatment, e.g. premature ovarian failure, no motile sperm - then you could take action sooner than later. In my case I believe it was the "perfect storm" of minor to moderate factors that made for a severe situation.
Sorry for your hardship and loss.
~S
Unexplained IF/RPL
TTC#1 2003 BFNs, 2004-2009



5 angels above
2010 IVF-PGS-FET#1, DD b. Aug-2011
TTC#2 2012 BFNs, 2013 FET#2, DS b. Nov-2013
TTC#3 2015 BFNs, FET#3
(my 6th and last angel above)
Journey Complete.