Realistic Excitement — The Bump
August 2015 Moms

Realistic Excitement

I just want to preface this by saying, I'm not an overly excitable person by nature, so sometimes my reaction to certain things throws people off.

I always get the question "Are you excited?!", as most pregnant women do, when people get a look at my belly. Of course I am, however my way of expressing that comes off a little lackluster.

I really can't wait for this little one to be here. I just have a more realistic view on all the physical and emotional changes coming my way. I'm not one of those people who are daydreaming all the time about how magical a newborn will be. I know it will be hard and stressful, and slightly sucky until I'm adjusted.

Unfortunately you really can't say, "Sure, I'm excited...for the suck fest to be over" that's frowned upon apparently.

Anyone else getting the "misunderstood" vibe when it comes to your level of excitement for things to come?

Side note: I'm not stressing about having a baby, just being realistic about what this little bundle of miraculous mayhem will bring 8-}
netters625KristinaD217mimigrace12emmiemae08

Re: Realistic Excitement

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  • I had a gal ask me one day and I gave my usual answer, which apparently wasn't up to her standards because she goes "Oh, is it not a good thing". Really? That's an appropriate thing to say to someone? Almost slapped her
    LoboandSuperNinjamimigrace12
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  • Its funny cause once you already have a kid and someone asks you that any response along the lines of "kind of, but I know how hard it was with my first" gets a knowing look and a "you'll all adjust okay" usually. I would almost side-eye anyone expecting their second that was just overly excited and wonder whether they remember the newborn phase or if they just got a miracle baby. I think with my first I always answered something along the lines of "I'm excited but really nervous. I know this is going to be tough". I don't remember ever getting any weird looks.
    KaylaLovesNoah
  • I don't understand the whole magical rainbows and unicorns vision some people get in their heads about newborns. Like on TV, where the new mom is quietly rocking her cooing newborn, and everything is perfect.
    Yes, I'm excited to have a child. But I know I'm going to be up all night, have a screaming baby often, and have no idea what I'm doing. No, I'm not really looking forward to the breakdowns I'll probably have, but I know it'll be worth it in the end. Parenthood reality!
    Saratiff
  • I'm realistic and I know what all it entails- but I still have the rainbows and butterflies because I'm that excited to have my sweet little one! I wasn't sure I was able to get pregnant (just being diabetic and having other factors against me!). I know labor is going to be the most excruciating thing ever but holding my baby will make it all worth it. I guess I've just always been an optimist. Some people are more excited than others it seems- I think that's just a personality difference.
    pabeybabyjlsweetsMiz_LizmommyofX
  • Don't be so hard on yourself that this experience is going to be misery, full of tiredness and hormone rages. Sure those things happen but look at the big picture, your bringing in this beautiful life. So many memories will be shared within your family now brought by this baby. The beginning is exhausting but even getting up with my baby every 2 hours was nothing I dreaded. Maybe I'm in the minority but I loved the late nights of just me and the baby , being able to bond and figure out this new little human. People are generally excited when a new baby is on the way, I don't think it's anything to get annoyed about. Try to live in the moment. Don't go into this thinking it's just going to be a nightmare , it really isn't that bad.

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    kedbachmariafordon
  • pabeybaby said:

    I don't understand the whole magical rainbows and unicorns vision some people get in their heads about newborns. Like on TV, where the new mom is quietly rocking her cooing newborn, and everything is perfect.
    Yes, I'm excited to have a child. But I know I'm going to be up all night, have a screaming baby often, and have no idea what I'm doing. No, I'm not really looking forward to the breakdowns I'll probably have, but I know it'll be worth it in the end. Parenthood reality!

    Just wait.. You may be that woman you see in the commercial rocking her newborn to sleep. You may not realize it now but it is a magical feeling

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



  • I make a nervouse smile a laugh when asked this question, because I don't know how to answer it. I think its a stupid question ofcourse you are excited, and I hate small talk which is what this question is. Luckly I have my husband who is way better at stupid conversations than me so it makes it less awkward and takes over.


    KristinaD217mariafordon
  • I am the same as you. I'm not a very excitable person. But I will say that newborns are pretty amazing. You'll have hard days but honestly (if your baby isn't colicky and crying 24/7) it can be mostly "magical." You will find yourself staring at them while they sleep, when you should be sleeping. I could stare at my baby for hours. Even getting up every three or four hours I didn't mind so much because I got some seriously cute snuggling. To me the newborn stage was the easiest and the most blissful part of the baby's stages. So don't dread it too much. You may love it a lot.

    And you never remember the last time you had to get up with them, the last bottle you give them, the last time they fall asleep in your arms, or the last time you hold them like a baby. So soak it all up, even when it majorly sucks ass! Lol
    mariafordonemmacake08
  • I am the same as you. I'm not a very excitable person. But I will say that newborns are pretty amazing. You'll have hard days but honestly (if your baby isn't colicky and crying 24/7) it can be mostly "magical." You will find yourself staring at them while they sleep, when you should be sleeping. I could stare at my baby for hours. Even getting up every three or four hours I didn't mind so much because I got some seriously cute snuggling. To me the newborn stage was the easiest and the most blissful part of the baby's stages. So don't dread it too much. You may love it a lot.

    And you never remember the last time you had to get up with them, the last bottle you give them, the last time they fall asleep in your arms, or the last time you hold them like a baby. So soak it all up, even when it majorly sucks ass! Lol

    Wow. This is the total opposite of my experience. If my baby was asleep, I would get as far away from her as possible and close my eyes. Never had that 'wanting to stare at baby' thing. The newborn stage was honestly the worst six weeks of my life. Maybe next time will be different?!

    So yeah, a small amount of excitement tempered with a large amount of fear over here... But to be honest no one has asked me if I'm excited anyway... I guess they don't ask STMs that one.

    hclzmm14
  • banfrogbanfrog member
    edited June 2015
  • Haha!  This so fits.  I was asked this morning if I was excited to be this close to delivery.  I looked at the lady and said, "I'm so ready for the puking and crying, the late night feedings, and the wanting to pull my hair out." She looked at me stunned!  I said, "been there, it's so much more rewarding and enjoyable than being this pregnant and miserable" and turned and walked away.  



    Cody Lane - 4/22/2004
    Colten James - 9/9/2005

    Isabella Ann - 7/20/2012
    SURPRISE!!!  Emma Leigh - due 8/27/2015 (c-section date 8/7/2015)

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I get this all the time... "Arnt you excited? I think I'm more excited than you... " no, I'm excited, it just doesn't come out all oozing and mushy over shopping for baby clothes or toys. Yes, the little socks and the tee shirt that says "mamas little man" is cute, but please don't expect me to loose my shit over it. For this very reason I want sure I wanted to have a shower. I just don't know if I can pull off the level of girly enthusiasm that is expected of me in that kind of setting. But I am excited, really.
    hclzmm14pabeybaby
  • I get this all the time... "Arnt you excited? I think I'm more excited than you... " no, I'm excited, it just doesn't come out all oozing and mushy over shopping for baby clothes or toys. Yes, the little socks and the tee shirt that says "mamas little man" is cute, but please don't expect me to loose my shit over it. For this very reason I want sure I wanted to have a shower. I just don't know if I can pull off the level of girly enthusiasm that is expected of me in that kind of setting. But I am excited, really.
    Dude, we are soul sisters. 
    BabyFruit Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • I get this all the time... "Arnt you excited? I think I'm more excited than you... " no, I'm excited, it just doesn't come out all oozing and mushy over shopping for baby clothes or toys. Yes, the little socks and the tee shirt that says "mamas little man" is cute, but please don't expect me to loose my shit over it. For this very reason I want sure I wanted to have a shower. I just don't know if I can pull off the level of girly enthusiasm that is expected of me in that kind of setting. But I am excited, really.

    I didn't have a shower because I don't want to have to worry if my reactions to gifts are enthusiastic or genuine enough. Too stressful for me! I hated every second of my wedding shower and dreaded every minute leading up to it lol
  • I am the same as you. I'm not a very excitable person. But I will say that newborns are pretty amazing. You'll have hard days but honestly (if your baby isn't colicky and crying 24/7) it can be mostly "magical." You will find yourself staring at them while they sleep, when you should be sleeping. I could stare at my baby for hours. Even getting up every three or four hours I didn't mind so much because I got some seriously cute snuggling. To me the newborn stage was the easiest and the most blissful part of the baby's stages. So don't dread it too much. You may love it a lot.

    And you never remember the last time you had to get up with them, the last bottle you give them, the last time they fall asleep in your arms, or the last time you hold them like a baby. So soak it all up, even when it majorly sucks ass! Lol

    Wow. This is the total opposite of my experience. If my baby was asleep, I would get as far away from her as possible and close my eyes. Never had that 'wanting to stare at baby' thing. The newborn stage was honestly the worst six weeks of my life. Maybe next time will be different?!

    So yeah, a small amount of excitement tempered with a large amount of fear over here... But to be honest no one has asked me if I'm excited anyway... I guess they don't ask STMs that one.

    We all like different parts I think. I personally am not that into toddlerhood. I have way more days now where I feel like when I go to the store I could just keep driving forever. You know what I mean? Like obviously I wouldn't but it never hurts to daydream? Haha
    kettlekitten
  • Love your response @Miz_Liz <3 I've never experienced what you have and I'm so sorry you went through that- I can't even imagine. I'm also bewildered at the fact that this is even a post. People LOVE babies and love pregnant women- which is why pretty much every woman stares and smiles (if not approaches to speak to us) while we are pregnant- it is so apparent. I'm so happy with how genuinely excited everyone is about my LO, and although sometimes pregnancy is rough and we all hate it (for moments), it really is amazing.
    Miz_Lizcarleym93jlsweetsmariafordon
  • Miz_Liz said:
    Maybe it is just me, but all of these posts about people getting upset because people are asking them if they are excited or asking if they are having a boy or a girl or how they are feeling or if they know the sex blow my mind. People are just trying to show they care, there are only so many things you can say to a pregnant woman to acknowledge the changes that she and her family are going through. When I went through my miscarriage I had to go for a lot of blood work. The first time I went back for blood work was to confirm that I was in fact losing my baby. The woman who took my blood clearly did not know and she said to me, "You just focus on taking care of yourself and that little one in there!" Slap one. Then after my miscarriage was confirmed I had to keep going back until my numbers reached 0. My lab slip specifically said that it was for a miscarriage. The last time my numbers had been a 5, so I had to go one more time, which was hard enough as it was. When I gave the girl my slip and she said she was surprised that I had to go back but I explained they wanted my numbers back to 0. She then proceeded to go on and on about how she was pregnant but she was 15 weeks so her numbers were like 200,000 and her hormones were all over the place. Then when we went out back she still was going on and on about her pregnancy and told me I could sit in the red chair because it was higher and, "I don't know about you, but my back is already killing me." I looked at her and told her, "Umm, I am here because I lost my baby." You would think that would have shut her up, but instead she went on about how she was glad she was 15 weeks because her risk of miscarriage was drastically reduced. She talked about her pregnancy the ENTIRE time then asked if I thought I lost my baby due to stress at work. Needless to say, I left and cried the entire way home. So for me, I welcome the questions like, "Are you excited?" and "Do you know if it is a boy or a girl?" "Do you have a name picked out?" "How are you feeling?" Because I know I have a baby growing in me who is thriving and healthy. I know that barring any unforeseen issues, I will be taking home a newborn in less than two months. And yes, I am excited - very. Those questions are a lot easier to handle than someone talking to you about their pregnancy and how great it is going when you just lost your baby - trust me.
    well said
    =D>

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    Miz_Liz
  • Miz_Liz said:

    Maybe it is just me, but all of these posts about people getting upset because people are asking them if they are excited or asking if they are having a boy or a girl or how they are feeling or if they know the sex blow my mind. People are just trying to show they care, there are only so many things you can say to a pregnant woman to acknowledge the changes that she and her family are going through. When I went through my miscarriage I had to go for a lot of blood work. The first time I went back for blood work was to confirm that I was in fact losing my baby. The woman who took my blood clearly did not know and she said to me, "You just focus on taking care of yourself and that little one in there!" Slap one. Then after my miscarriage was confirmed I had to keep going back until my numbers reached 0. My lab slip specifically said that it was for a miscarriage. The last time my numbers had been a 5, so I had to go one more time, which was hard enough as it was. When I gave the girl my slip and she said she was surprised that I had to go back but I explained they wanted my numbers back to 0. She then proceeded to go on and on about how she was pregnant but she was 15 weeks so her numbers were like 200,000 and her hormones were all over the place. Then when we went out back she still was going on and on about her pregnancy and told me I could sit in the red chair because it was higher and, "I don't know about you, but my back is already killing me." I looked at her and told her, "Umm, I am here because I lost my baby." You would think that would have shut her up, but instead she went on about how she was glad she was 15 weeks because her risk of miscarriage was drastically reduced. She talked about her pregnancy the ENTIRE time then asked if I thought I lost my baby due to stress at work. Needless to say, I left and cried the entire way home. So for me, I welcome the questions like, "Are you excited?" and "Do you know if it is a boy or a girl?" "Do you have a name picked out?" "How are you feeling?" Because I know I have a baby growing in me who is thriving and healthy. I know that barring any unforeseen issues, I will be taking home a newborn in less than two months. And yes, I am excited - very. Those questions are a lot easier to handle than someone talking to you about their pregnancy and how great it is going when you just lost your baby - trust me.



    THAT lady wins all the Twatwaffle Tuesdays! X(
    Miz_LizEmEeGeepabeybaby
  • @Carleyec93 I totally agree! I thought about calling and reporting her to the office manager and suggesting sensitivity class, but I just couldn't deal with it anymore at the time.



    carleym93
  • @Miz_Liz That's a great way to look at it. I admit that some days I'm dying for someone to start a conversation with me that isn't baby related, but I always know that they're just being nice and probably don't think about the fact that it's all I've talked about all day. And while I truly am excited, I'm just more grouchy about repeating myself than anything else. That being said, when you've experienced loss (which I have not) I can only imagine what a game changer that is when being asked these questions. I literally want to go find that lab tech and strangle her for you, but I'm so glad that you shared that perspective for some of us who may occasionally take the opportunity to talk about our healthy babies for granted.
    Miz_Lizcarleym93KaylaLovesNoahemmacake08
  • I actually am already sad thinking about when the birth and early days are over. It was such a high and nothing has compared to it that since this will probably be my last, this will be the last birth high. I get giddy thinking of it. I'm glad I still can look forward to it. When I let myself daydream about holding her and smelling her I get so excited.
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    KaylaLovesNoahjlsweetskedbach
  • edited June 2015
    @Miz_Liz Thank you for being so open and honest with something so painful. You're obviously a very strong women to be able to article such a devastating story without being bitter or judgemental. I hope I can use that to help me in those aggrevating situations, and to keep this pregnancy in perspective.
    emmacake08jlsweetsMiz_Lizkedbach
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