Labor Question for STM's

mrstzouganos

Even though I'm only 30 weeks I can't stop thinking that my DH works in NYC which is about 1 1/2 hours away and takes a train every day. The trains run about once an hour off peak, so I'm nervous that it will take him hours to get home and then we have a 40 minute drive in the opposite direction from his job to get to the hospital. It's not like him driving to the city would make the commute shorter since we live on Long Island and I'm due 9/6, Labor Day weekend and the traffic for the Hamptons is so awful! The thought of me driving myself to the hospital scares the hell out of me. I am a FTM and I do know that labor can take hours but I don't want to be by myself waiting at our home in case my labor goes quicker than normal. My mom and sisters work an hour away and if worse comes to worse I can call one them to bring me, but I don't know how I feel about that. My DH keeps asking me when do I tell my job a roundabout date in which I won't be at work, so I'm not sure if that's making me even more nervous. So my questions are:
When do I let him know he needs to head home?
What if my water breaks? Don't I have to go to the hospital right away?
How do I know when we should go to the hospital? I know the 5-1-1 rule but if I'm by myself do I call an ambulance (if I call an ambulance they will not bring me to my hospital they will bring me to the closest one, which isn't a good one) or drive myself?

-sorry this is so long, I'm actually getting scared at this point.

Duckybears

When I entered the last month with DS our OB went over all of that with us. Because you have concerns I'd go ahead and ask at your next appointment. If you are not sure whether or not to go to the hospital, I'd call the OB office and see what they say, but also error on the side of caution.

As far as telling hubby to come home, if you have started to have consistent contractions (not just a Braxton hicks here or there) tell him to come home. You never know how long labor really will be or if you'll have any complications.

For getting to the hospital without hubby, do you have a neighbor or friend close by that is willing to be on standby in case you need a ride?

blondehairblueeyeditalianbaby

I know I would not have been able to drive myself. I live about 3 miles from my hospital but after only 15 min of labor my contractions were 1 min apart. I also know that is not typical for first time labors. I would call your husband at the first signs of labor and also have someone on standby that is closer just incase. I am very nervous about my labor this time. I was lucky to go into labor on a Sunday last time. I worry about being at work (elementary school librarian) this time.

bmolson1

For me, we had lots of warning that I was in labor. I had irregular contractions that increased and decreased in intensity for about 10 hours before things really picked up. Then I labored at home for about three hours and could have stayed home another 2-3. I think you'll be able to get dh home, but it's probably a good idea to have a backup plan just in case.

veronica121679

Try not to worry so much and get yourself in a tailspin. Your appointments at the last month are weekly, you'll know when you're getting close to the big day. I was so worried with my daughter, that I went out on leave at 36 weeks, had to get induced at 41 weeks only to have an emergency c section 2 days into labor. This time it's a scheduled surgery. Point is you never know what is going to happen. Maybe the last week or two before you're due see if your hubby can take paternity leave early or personal/vacation days etc, so you're not alone. Maybe being home together will help the stress.

thinkpink101

With our first, dh worked about 2 hours away, double that if it was rush hour. He was SO nervous to go to work the week before my due date, but I told him he was being silly, because being our first I figured it would take a while for labor to progress... The day after my due date I still felt perfectly fine, I was at work, left for my OB appointment and expected to go back to work after that. Instead I found out I was fully dilated and effaced and they told me I needed to go straight to the hospital. I drive myself home, called a friend to take me to the hospital, and called dh to tell him to try to hurry home. He ended up driving on the shoulder most of the way because traffic was crazy. They didn't break my water until he arrived, but after that it was less than 1.5 hours until our baby arrived. Had the water broken he would have missed the birth...

It's a tough call, you could be two weeks overdue in which case it would be terrible for your dh to waste two weeks of vacation. Can he work from home right before your due date at all?

I would also ask a friend to be your backup driver.

KYmama9286

I wouldn't worry- it's very unusual for first time mom's to have those dramatic fast delivieries you see on tv. This is my 4th, with #1- I was induced so no input there but #2&3 I went natural/unmedicated and I can tell you that you will have plenty of time. I have fast labors (like max of 3-4 hours of active labor and only push a handful of times) even with that in mind I still knew it was time well in advance.

The contractions generally come on slowly and increase in time and intensity. Most des recommend waiting until the 5-1-1 rule but even that is pretty conservative, since I knew I didn't want an epi I waited until they were a lot closer than that before heading in and I still had about 45min-1hr before baby came.

As for the water breaking, only about 10-14% of women have that happen as a first sign of labor so again, unusual and in many cases your water will break but contractions don't start right away. Even if your water breaks and contractions start right away you still don't need to rush to the hospital until things get moving.

It always helps me to play out worst case scenarios- if your labor progresses that quickly that your husband can't make it home and you need a ride to the hospital asap DO NOT attempt to drive yourself, I would have a friend or neighbor who is very close by be on standby just in case or worse comes to worse uber a car to the hospital. It is incredibly unlikely this will happen though.

Other worse case scenario is baby comes so incredibly fast driving to the hospital by car isn't even an option- in this crazy event, trust me, you won't give a crap what hospital that ambulance is taking you to only that you're not delivering your baby at home alone. Again, the chances of this happening are slim to none.

Listen to your body, it gives you signs. Err on the side of caution as far as if you think it could be time and you're close to your due date go ahead and have dh stay home from work or start heading home. Better safe than sorry if this is a concern for you, I'm sure it will be fine!

monicaP

Love the advice of pp. Run through all your worst case and have a plan so you don't need to stress. I was so worried about my December baby that I made a blizzard plan. Once I had a plan in place I didn't worry so much. Then both babies were born on a Sunday when my husband was home and in very nice weather My in laws were even visiting from out of town when I went into labor with DD2, so I didn't have to put into place our babysitter plans. So make the plans and then let the stress go. Baby will come when baby is ready (or gets evicted)