Depression, break downs and friend with about the same EDD

heyyitselliee

(Bit of my story: I had a missed miscarriage at 10 1/2 weeks, discovers at 12 week scan on the Friday 22nd may, had d&c on the following Wednesday)

i thought I was doing okay, but in the past couple of days it's been rough my and my partners anniversary was last Wednesday (I would have been exactly 16 weeks) and I'm struggling even more now. Would I have felt baby move by now? Boy or girl? What would they have been like? I've had a couple panic attacks and break downs in the past two weeks, everyone around me seems to getting pregnant and having healthy babies, one close friend is a week further along Than I would be and is having a healthy baby boy, I'm jealous so so jealous, why wasn't my baby healthy? Why did my babies heart stop beating? I had such severe morning sickness I had to be put on iv fluids, from everyone I've met they've said morning sickness is a positive sign! I'm not coping very well and apologise for venting on here. I'm sleeping all day and when I am awake all I can think is of my little peanut, the thing that bugs me the most is not knowing. Why did their tiny heart stop? Was it a chromosomal thing? Was it just pure incident? Was it something I did? Why? And not knowing whether my little peanut was a little boy or a little girl bugs me too.

How do I cope not knowing why this happened? How do I come to peace with it? Do I ever?

queenklau

I know how You feel. Similar situation, HB stopped at 10w5d, found out at our 11w5d ultrasound. My BFF is also a dec 2015 mom and she is doing great. All we can do is cope day by day. Think that your LO was loved unconditionally and his/her beautiful soul will never be forgotten.
Life is never fair, unfortunately. For me I am trying to be thankful and positive as best as I can. Actually right now I am about to go to my d&c follow up, it has been one week since that. So I am a bit scared.

I send you hugs!

letyourheartbeyourguide

I'm so sorry for your loss. There have been some recent discussions about coping strategies that might be useful. It's so difficult not knowing what exactly happened, but please remember that it's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. Like PP said, try to take it one day at a time and remind yourself frequently that it's not your fault. There will be ups and downs for sure, but it will get easier. In the meantime, be kind to yourself.

heyyitselliee

Seen friend for the first time today and she's already showing and all she could do was hug me (she has had a miscarriage years ago) so I think she felt guilty for having her bump around me, which I made clear I was happy to see, after seeing her I no longer feel jealous just happy someone else can enjoy their pregnancy unlike I could

michellex121

Hi sorry for your loss. It takes time and possible counselling to heal. I had an ectopic pregnancy for my first pregnancy more than a year ago. I would have panic attacks and breakdowns and took about a year to get over the fears and anxiety. I'm pregnant again at 7 week but ultrasound shows an empty sac with no baby, I feel I might have a miscarriage. I feel that I might have better coping mechanisms now. But it still hurts the same. It helps to talk about it though. I don't know if I'll ever have a healthy baby. My best friend is having her second baby and I try to feel happy for her, but secretly I'm also quite jealous. I do feel guilty for feeling jealous because it's not her fault.