Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

No heartbeat

aleciaj79aleciaj79 member
My first child and supposed to be 9 weeks, but gestational age was 6+3 on ultrasound yesterday without a heartbeat. I know it's early compared to the loss some women experience but I've broken down 3 times in 24 hours. Everything is still inside me, and I'm "waiting" to "miscarry". How do i cope? My husband is upset but very comforting, but all the fears and questions are running wild in my head right now. Should I have a D&C? Or let my body deal with it?

Re: No heartbeat

  • Sorry for your loss. To answer your question, everyone is different. I had a mmc at almost 13 weeks, baby only measured almost 10weeks. To me, it had already been 3 weeks and my body had no indication of starting on its own and the thought of waiting and knowing it was going to happen but not knowing when was unbearable, so I opted for the d&c. My doctor said the risk of scarring causing future complications after one d&c was minimal. However, some ladies feel like they need to naturally mc to accept what is actually happening and get closure. You should research your options, go to your doctor armed with questions, then decide based on what is best for you emotionally.
  • That's great advice, thankyou I will.
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  • So sorry for your loss! Im just coming out of the same experience - at least in a physical sense, emotionally is a whole different proccess. My body was spotting/light bleeding for over a week before we discovered the missed MC and its been another week for it to be over at 12w4d. I took medicine to help it along, Im sure that is an option for you so check with your doctor. Honestly I didn't accept any medical intervention until I saw on the sono for myself that baby had no HB. Passing the baby at home was another part of the closure proccess for me. Everyone is different, it takes some thought but do what you think you are okay with. Don't feel awkward about your emotions - it dosn't matter how far along you are, if we want a baby and lose it, it's a loss and it's okay to be devastated. I have 3 kids and a lot to be thankful for but I still have moments every day where I can't breathe and burst into tears. Will be praying that whatever you decide to do things go smoothly for you! Xox
  • Hi @aleciaj79, I am sorry to hear about your loss. I understand that waiting can be difficult. We had a mmc at 11W5d baby was measuring 10W5d, it was also very heartbreaking and a shock (after a successful 6W1d appt where we heard the strong HB). I opted for the d&c, I wanted to get it over with, but I did ask the surgeon to show me the baby in the ultrasound one more time to confirm. I was strapped and ready for the surgery, but they allowed me to stay awake during his last ultrasound, then they put me under. It was scary for me but I knew I wanted to triple check. I think it was part of the grieving process (denial). As PPs said it is a personal journey and you have to decide what is the best fit for you to heal physically and most importantly emotionally, ask your doctor for all the available options and you can decide what is right for you and your family. I send you hugs!
    ******TW******Siggy warning
    BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
    BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks; 
    BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016 

       Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


  • Thank you, I will definitely ask my obgyn for the medication option and what it entails
  • I truly thank you all for your kind words and knowledge in going through this before. I am sorry for all of your losses as well as I can now honestly understand what women go through when this happens. Hugs to you all and thank you again
  • I also had a MMC at 11 wks, baby measured 9 weeks no heartbeat. No spotting or anything so I went for the D&C since it could take many weeks for your body to figure out what's happening. I couldn't imagine waiting and was very scared of the pain and actually seeing the fetus
  • I got cut off! I'm sorry for your loss and good luck with whatever you choose.
  • I opted for a d&c after I lost my pregnancy at 6 w2d. I started bleeding before work one day. I knew I was loosing it as it was too much bleeding to be from my SCH. I work in an ob/gyn office. Had an ultrasound and there it was still floating in there with no heartbeat. I did not want to wait it out being that the blood loss was so extreme already so about 5 hours later I had it done. I'm glad I did because 2 weeks later I feel 100% normal emotionally and physically because the bleeding has stopped. I can try again sooner now too and that's a bonus. Seems like the women that want to do it on their own will sometimes come back in the office and need a d&c after waiting a few weeks anyway. Plus I didn't wanna pass the sac or clots. I didn't want to see the POC.
  • So sorry for your loss. :( I had a MMC last mth at 10 weeks (baby was measuring 8 weeks with no heartbeat). Since I wasn't bleeding or showing any signs of passing on my own I opted for the D&C. I have never been put to sleep so was really nervous about it but it wasn't bad at all. I had the D&C 18 days ago and felt fine physically the same day (emotionally it was kind of like a roller coaster ride for the next week or so bc of my hormones and dealing w the loss). I am still having a little spotting here and there but I'm glad I had the procedure bc it gave me closure. I too requested another ultrasound just for my peace of mind and it did help. I'll be praying for peace and comfort for you and wish you the best in whatever you decide to do (to have the D&C or to pass naturally).
  • I am so sorry!!! I am in the waiting right now too as mine was a miscarry. It's hard to start truly grieving because the baby and other matter is still in me.
    I have surrounded myself with friends and family and Gods love and am refusing to let myself be isolated or dwell on fearful thoughts. I am consciously fighting to choose peace every moment while still breaking down in tears sometimes.
    It is such a crazy experience isn't it? I pray peace over your heart and mind in Jesus' name.
    I hope that you will feel peace in the midst of the shock, pain, and deep hurt. Bless you.
  • I am asking the same question though. Have my midwife wait out a natural route with me or D&C.
    Thanks for this thread it's helpful to read.
  • D&C was absolutely the right route for me yesterday due to excessive bleeding. I had another back in 2003 because even with meds, I had retained some POC that got infected and I had too-slowly dropping HCG. I too did not want to deal with seeing the fetus either. But there's something to be said about being comfortable at home if it's safe and possible. If I hadn't started hemorrhaging yesterday and my viability check this week had no heartbeat, I think I'd still opt for the D&C... I've already spotted/lightly bled for a month, I was very much over that. My end game is a take home baby and I don't want to delay that further. Not that I didn't want this baby, but no heart beat equalled gone to me. That's all I really needed in terms of closure. Other women need more and that's perfectly ok to want to go through the whole process naturally. I think whatever you think will be best for you. Only you can say.
  • I am so, so sorry for your loss.  I've had 2 miscarriages and had a D&C with both. I was sedated for the D&Cs, so they were quick and painless. With my second miscarriage, I bled heavily for about 4 days before they confirmed the lack of a heartbeat, and when they told me that the ultrasound showed I would bleed quite a bit more, getting a D&C was an easy decision.  I really think getting a D&C is the way to go, but everyone is different. 
  • Thankyou I am doing better each day, still very upset but just remaining as positive as possible.
  • I'm having my second blood HCG level taken tomorrow to determine how much the hormone has dropped then I will book in for a D&C as I know it can take many weeks for the body to clear itself, and I know I won't feel any closure until that happens
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