Is how we were told normal?

TheThornBird

We went in for our 12 week appointment and our OB couldn't find a heartbeat with Doppler. They don't have ultrasound, so she sent us downstairs to radiology for that (they were total jerks and wanted to put it off until the next day since it was late afternoon, but that's another story).

After the ultrasound, we waited in a small room with two chairs, a telephone, and a security camera and told to wait for a phone call. Another OB called us on the phone to tell us there was no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks.

Is it normal to be told over the phone in a random creepy waiting room like this? I really didn't care (I could tell right away looking at the ultrasound technician's face and this OB is very clinical anyway) but my SO is pretty upset that we weren't at least told in person. He's been asking friends, who all seem to agree it is pretty effed up.

rachrobertson

That is a horrible way to find out. My MD has an u/s, but had I had to go to the hospital, I would expect a followup with my doctor or that the other doctor come out to speak to me. I am so sorry for your loss. I was almost 13 weeks and baby had stopped growing at almost 10 weeks.

MrsGargoyle

What you describe, sans security camera, is how I always get the results of my u/s. However, never for a loss. That is 100% fucked up. I am so very sorry. I would definitely be filing a written complaint with the doctor who chose the phone to tell you, as well as with the clinic/hospital management. That is NOT how you tell a parent about the death of a child.

jacobsone2

I went to ultrasound school and after each case the tech presents to the radiologist. If there is nothing big going on, then the tech lets the patient leave. If there is something important or life threatening then the radiologist will go in and talk to the patient. They should have come in and talked to you in person. You should call and complain!!

whit3183

Um no, I've had two miscarriages and have always been told as the ultrasound is being performed, either by the sonographer or my doctor.  They are always very good about doing the ultrasound so that I can see the screen and explaining everything that is happening. That is totally messed up, and I'm sorry you hand to go through that experience