Terrified of C-Sections

Kitta+1

So I let slip to some friends of mine that I am absolutely terrified of c-sections ... then proceeded to get every birthing horror story told to me that had ever happened in the history of humanity.  So now I'm nightmares-every-night-irrational-fear-level terrified of c-sections.  Anyone else feel scared of that?  My entire prenatal and birth plan literally revolves around doing everything possible to reduce the risk of a c-section and nixing anything that can even remotely be tied to a possible increase in the chance of a c-section.  It's gotten ... unhealthy.  

I am completely low risk, and have no reason to believe I'll need one except for all the stories I hear about perfectly normal pregnancies turning into c-sections last minute ...  I'm sure it's not as common as it sounds?  I thought about calling my nurse and talking to her about it because it's keeping me from sleeping but I'm not really hopeful that there's anything they can do. 

jessilee15

What's your fear of a C section? Frankly mine was no big deal...wouldn't have picked it, but I also wasn't upset that I needed one (mine first kid decided to extend his neck instead of flexing when I was in labor; they tried to turn him with no success)

Kitta+1

Honestly, I'm not completely sure what wigs me out so much about it.  I fear drugs, infection, damage to surrounding organs, adhesions, low APGAR scores (nobody cares about APGAR lol) and some other tidbits.  When I try to think about what's got me scared I can come up with reasons, but none of them really account for wake-up-in-a-cold-sweat terror I feel about it.  

It sounds crazy, and that's why I think it's crossed the line into a truly irrational fear, but I just can't seem to pin down a reason or get over it.

MadBloom

The more you stress and worry about it the worse it'll be. You don't want to be tense and under that sort of anxiety while in labour so remove it from your head. Focus on your goal and don't beat yourself up if it's medically necessary.

I'd rather a scar and a shitty recovery than the worst case scenario of my baby (or myself) not surviving the birth.

MargaretC5

I was similar to you with DS. My whole birth plan focused around what had the lowest risk of a c section. I read a lot about it. I still ended up with a c section, but I knew I had done everything in my power to prevent it. Knowing what the common interventions are and preparing how I wanted to handle those situations if they came up really helped me. I never looked back and said if I had done this differently I could of prevented the c section.
I have a fear of surgery, and surgery awake is more than I can handle. They gave me something during the c section so I was awake but do not remember most of it. I only remember seeing DS for a minute than starting to freak out again. I think most women would want to remember the birth, but honestly if I need another c section I am requesting those drugs again.
I am going to try for a VBAC this time and would love if that is possible, but also am accepting I may need another c section.
There is risk with any surgery, but it is a small risk. Beside the actual surgery itself the c section was really not that bad. DS was perfectly healthy and I had no issues with recovery.

dogsombrero

I know you are frightened but you can't let it get the best of you. I had nearly every intervention in the book (cervadil, foley Cath, pitocin, antibiotics and fluids for strep b, epidural plus a huge 10# 14oz baby) and I did not have a c-section. I would have a frank discussion with your health provider about what situations interventions will be advised in.

I'd also recommend you look into the process of the csection to help you understand the process. In my birth class we watched a non-graphic video on csections that showed how the cut was made and the baby removed. We also got to see and touch forceps and a vacuum. I was not nearly as concerned once I was familiar with them.

kmkrushi

I ended up with a c-section after, despite preterm labor, DD didn't want to leave. It was scary, but in the end it wasn't really anything but cold. My husband wasn't there for a few minutes, but then he was with me for the rest. The anesthesiologist was great and talked me and DH through everything. Try to not worry. For every horror story there are so many more stories that aren't.

hammy_711

If it wasn't for my c-section, I and my son would likely not have made it.  Try to put things in perspective when you start feeling anxious.  You won't have a c-section unless your doctor feels that it is in your best interest.  If that is the case, either you or your baby is in jeopardy.  It wasn't my first choice, but it certainly wasn't that bad either.  I bit longer recovery time and a 3 in scar.  I have a scheduled c-section coming my way this time and I'm happy to know that it's the safer option for me and can be prepared.  

nmwheel1

Try not to stress about that!

I made sure to avoid a c-section at all costs, I was still in triage, only 3cm dilated and my daughter's heartrate was dropping below 80 bpm, we were rushed for a c-section. The entire time not once did I worry about the actual c-section, all I cared about was our baby being okay. It was a silent delivery, she had her first bowel movement in me and swallowed, they wouldn't allow her to breathe until they suctioned all the meconium out, thankfully they did. She failed the first apgar test but the second one she passed with flying colors.

Because the doctors acted quickly she didn't spend any time in Nicu. She was actually discharged before me! We had no issues breastfeeding either! The recovery took time but it honestly wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The c-section saved my daughter's life.

This time I am going for the VBac and I really really hope I don't need another c-section, but if it is medically necessary, I know I'm in good hands and so is my baby.

Try not to stress out about it! You most likely won't need one, and if you do just know that you and your baby are in good hands!

sophieaxx

I was one push away from my c-section (had a dramatic long birth) as they were preparing me for it I tried one more time and thankfully I didn't need one. I really would prefer to go natural but whatever way the midwifes/doctors will re-assure that you and baby are looked after! Just focus on the goal

mamavbs

A csection isn't the end of the world, but I know the fear you're dealing with. My son was breech and couldn't be turned as there was no space and he was pretty damn stuck. So this was discovered at 36 weeks and then I had 3 weeks of panicking about the operation and convincing myself I was probably going to die. Dramatic but it's scary when you don't know what's going to happen.

That being said... I have a lot of midwife friends and they tried to convince me it wasn't a big deal and explained the process. I don't know if it would help everyone, but I watched a video of a csection and just had lengthy talks with my surgeon about the process. It's important to remember that the fact is- csections aren't what they used to be. They're very, very good at them now. I know a planned section is probably very different to an emergency as on the day, mine was very calm and relaxed and I ended up being excited and emotional instead of terrified. The only thing is after care, obviously it takes longer to get back on your feet so it's sensible to make sure you have family or help around for those first few weeks.

Try to keep in your mind that if the birth results in a healthy baby then it's a success and you can only control a certain amount of factors surrounding labour so it's not worth stressing about. I found writing every thing down helped me too, how I felt etc. when I woke up at 2am sweating and panicking about it, I'd write it down so it was out of my mind. You'll be okay :-)

DrMommaDVM

I am a little scared of having a c-section as well. I think it's a totally rational fear. I mean... Having your abdomen cut open while your fully conscious? If that's not a little scary to you, you just don't really understand what's going on. Also I do a fair amount of abdominal surgery (on animals, not people), and the abdomen is kind of a scary place with lots of organs and large vessels and potential complications. I prefer to keep mine closed to the outside world. Of course, if I end up needing a c-section, so be it. I will just put it out of my mind and think of the baby.

Pontot31

I won't lie - I didn't enjoy my CS. After 2 days when we finally decided it was time I sobbed for an hour and a half until the OR was ready for us. So did my husband.
I was mostly terrified of recovery.
The surgery itself wasn't awful. But I never want to do it again.
I was able to do skin to skin with my daughter on the table while they closed me up- which made a huge difference because I was focused only on her.

I am going for a VBAC this time and hope to avoid surgery.

The best thing you can do to avoid one is to stay active during pregnancy, wait as long as you can to get an epidural, if you choose one, avoid an induction and move around during labor. Have support people as well. Look into your doctor and your hospital's CS record as well- that will show you a lot.

helsbels222

They are not so bad. It wasn't my choice to have one but I was in preterm labor and ended up having an emergency c-sec. My son and I wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for the c-sec. Since it was an emergency, there was no time for an epidural so they gave me general anesthesia. I was out for the entire thing. SO didn't even make it into the room in time. After putting on scrubs, he came running down the hallway and heard DS crying already. The entire ordeal was so scary and utter chaos but it was necessary. It literally happened in minutes. My doctor was amazing so I have a teeny, barely noticeable scar. Recover wasn't too bad, just had to take it easy up and down stairs for a few days and for some reason I was not allowed to drive for 10 weeks. Honestly that was the worst pain because I live in an area where you have to drive to get anywhere.
You never know what will happen. Worrying about it now isn't going to do you any good. Just trust your doctor and the hospital staff. They are going to do what's best for you and your baby at that time.

VexyMommy

Do you think it may be a worry about the entire labor and delivery process that you're anxious and worried about and you've just focused it onto c-sections? Possibly talk to your doctor about anti-anxiety medications that are safe to take during pregnancy or try something like chamomile tea which is safe at a 1 - 2 cup a day level to help even things out a little bit. I have an anxiety disorder and I tend to focus on one thing when I feel overwhelmed.

Kitta+1

Thanks guys.  I'm not sure I want to be medicated, but I do think it's time to talk to the doc, it's getting a little out of hand.  

I talked with my fiancee last night about it.  I still can't pinpoint what freaks me out so much.  I tried to pull up videos but my computer is old and cranky and wouldn't load them - though that might be a good thing.  The articles did not help in the least, though.  It seems like the mom gets completely kicked out of the whole process, it sounds like you just lay there staring at a sheet and sometime later they hand you a baby ... maybe if he'd at least let me watch I would feel a little different about it?  I'm not squeamish, I've watched and assisted with surgeries before, though none as major as this, but I do understand it's a different ball game when it's your own body and most docs don't want to allow that.

I do appreciate the kind words, though.  

Pontot31

Kitta+1 said:

Thanks guys.  I'm not sure I want to be medicated, but I do think it's time to talk to the doc, it's getting a little out of hand.  

I talked with my fiancee last night about it.  I still can't pinpoint what freaks me out so much.  I tried to pull up videos but my computer is old and cranky and wouldn't load them - though that might be a good thing.  The articles did not help in the least, though.  It seems like the mom gets completely kicked out of the whole process, it sounds like you just lay there staring at a sheet and sometime later they hand you a baby ... maybe if he'd at least let me watch I would feel a little different about it?  I'm not squeamish, I've watched and assisted with surgeries before, though none as major as this, but I do understand it's a different ball game when it's your own body and most docs don't want to allow that.

I do appreciate the kind words, though.  

Look up natural caesarean. They keep the curtain down and I've even seen moms help bring up the baby up to her chest.
It's become common at a lot of hospitals now and getting more mainstream. You can find YouTube videos.
I would discuss that with your doctor and write out the details in your birth plan.

Lynnbirds4

Honestly, I did not want a c-section either (as I am sure most do not), but when it came time I did require an emergency CS. To be honest, it was not all that bad...as others said, it is good we have the option because my son and me may not have survived otherwise. Also, the surgery lasted maybe 10 minutes?! It's hard to day because there was a lot going on, but it didn't take long. My recovery was very good and 2.5 years later you can't really see my scar anymore! It obviously isn't the ideal birth, but no need to freak yourself out about it either! And FYI, I found out with my first that everyone likes to tell you their horror stories about pregnancy and delivery....who is to say if it was really that bad, but sometimes I feel like they are exaggerating. You hear all these awful stories about labor and after I got my epidural, I napped until I was 10 cm! The one thing I wish I could have told myself during my first pregnancy (and tell my friends now) is don't spend so much time worrying about the delivery. It will all work out and you will be overjoyed with love (and relief!)

dogsombrero

Kitta+1 said:

Thanks guys.  I'm not sure I want to be medicated, but I do think it's time to talk to the doc, it's getting a little out of hand.  

I talked with my fiancee last night about it.  I still can't pinpoint what freaks me out so much.  I tried to pull up videos but my computer is old and cranky and wouldn't load them - though that might be a good thing.  The articles did not help in the least, though.  It seems like the mom gets completely kicked out of the whole process, it sounds like you just lay there staring at a sheet and sometime later they hand you a baby ... maybe if he'd at least let me watch I would feel a little different about it?  I'm not squeamish, I've watched and assisted with surgeries before, though none as major as this, but I do understand it's a different ball game when it's your own body and most docs don't want to allow that.

I do appreciate the kind words, though.  

I've heard of them using a clear sheet or one with a window if requested. Definitely ask you healthcare provider what you would be allowed to choose in the event of a routine csection such as music, drape visibility, skin to skin etc.

staceyandsam

I have had two and both my experiences were great. My first was unplanned and my second was scheduled.  I know how you are feeling though.  When I was pregnant with my first I wanted to avoid that option no matter what.  But when the doctor started to get worried about my LO, I didn't care, I just wanted her out safely.  Yes the healing process is longer and different than a vaginal birth, but it wasn't the end of the world for me.  I know everyone's experiences are different, but try not to be worried, especially not until you really have a reason to be.  I will be having another CS for this LO and have no worries at all.  Also, I have friends who have delivered both ways and actually preferred the CS. Again, all experiences are different but i'm just pointing out that not all CS are bad.  Good Luck and I hope you are able to calm some of your fears before delivery.    

lfoster797

You truly just have to trust that the doctors are pros at this and that God has your back  The doctors are trained in everything possible!  Don't be affraid of them:)