When having "guys night" does your husband stay out all night until the sun comes up? — The Bump
October 2015 Moms

When having "guys night" does your husband stay out all night until the sun comes up?

100 Love Its 10 Comments Photogenic
edited June 2015 in October 2015 Moms

When having "guys night" does your husband stay out all night until the sun comes up? 207 votes

10% 22 votes
20% 42 votes
Hell No!
69% 143 votes

Re: When having "guys night" does your husband stay out all night until the sun comes up?

  • My husband has really bad social anxiety.  He doesn't really go out without me (and I usually have to beg him to go out!) and if he does socialize, it's usually with our mutual friends at our house.  Also, we works super early in the morning.  But...hell no would I be ok with him staying out all night with the guys, at least not without checking in so I know he's safe.  Especially if he were drinking.  He can do what he wants, he's a big boy.  But, it's common courtesy to at least check in!
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  • kmwlkmwl
    100 Love Its 10 Comments Photogenic Name Dropper
    I'm pretty lucky. The drunker my husband gets, the more he misses me and calls me. Even at his bachelor party, he called me every time they changed bars and eventually asked me to come get him because his DD bailed on them. He'd never stay out without letting me know where he was.
  • My DH is known for staying out pretty late when he's having a "guys night." He always calls/texts me to let me know where he is/what he's doing. He normally doesn't stay out til the sun comes up, but has been close to it on a few occasions. As long as he lets me know what he's doing/where he is, I normally don't mind him hanging out with his guy friends til late. They're almost always hanging out at one of the guys houses anyway.
  • It depends. If he is going to visit a friend who lives an hour and a half away. I expect he stay there overnight. I know he'll be drinking and would rather he stay the night and be safe. In general, my husband doesn't really go out without me that much. If he does, he doesn't stay out all night long.
  • He doesn't stay out all night, but if he were with his normal group of friends, I wouldn't mind as long as it were planned. I know all his friends pretty well, and since in 4 months we won't be able to do anything like that, I'd rather he do it before our son arrives.
  • O hell no...that's single guy nonsense!!!! He's got 2 kids and one on the way no no no! Like @amberrmariee20 said he better be in jail or hospital or smtn really happened or we were together doing bad things lolzzz (geez we haven't done that In superrr long! )

  • edited June 2015
    Luckily my boyfriend doesn't drink but if he did and was gone all night he better either be in jail or the hospital. Otherwise he's in for it.

    Haha we were together doing bad things @gabrielafrnqyepez I just laughed so hard at that .
  • My husband doesn't go out often. We're homebodies. Before our relationship got serious, he'd go out with some friends when they came into town once in a while. Lately, he goes to his cousin's apartment (in the same complex as ours) to play video games when his cousin gets off work. Sometimes, I'll go if it's not too late at night. Other times, I'll tell him to go and I fall asleep. He comes home between 1 and 3 depending on how many people are over and how tired he is.
    I wouldn't be cool with him staying out all hours of the night if he was out in the city with a bunch of people without me. That'd be pretty crummy.
    We like to spend our money having a good time together, not separately.

  • Noooo. If he did, he'd come home to the door locked, bolted, and chained. My first husband cheated on me with everything in a skirt. I don't do well with anything my current SO does that reminds me of him, so he's pretty careful about that. 

  • No, but I wouldn't mind if he did-- as long as he called and let me know what was up. I trust him completely and would rather him stay the night somewhere than try to drive impaired. He's such a homebody though, that (prepregnancy, obviously) I was the one likely to stay out all night!
  • BingjBingj
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    My husband very rarely goes out and it's usually over to his friends house, like maybe once a month. The only thing I worry about is drinking and driving. I start to worry if it gets past midnight and usually text him to tell him to stay the night there if he's drunk. But, he always comes home. He really can come home whenever he wants but we do have two other kids with the one on the way. He can't get too crazy, he's gotta wake up and help me.
  • Sometimes. He always let's me know. I'd much rather him stay with a buddy than drive home that late or over the limit. I'd be upset if he had commitments early the next day or that night and he stayed out all night. That's just irresponsible. So far so good, though :)
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  • He's the only one with a nice house out of his group of friends that live here. They usually end up at our house anyway, in the backyard. I've been out with him til daybreak a few times, but he hardly ever does that with his buddies (once last year).
  • Birdee212Birdee212
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited June 2015
    Rarely does he have a typical "guys night" where they bar hop til the wee morning hours. When he does, he calls to ask if I'm comfortable with him crashing on his friend's couch, to which I always say yes. The only place to really go out and party is all the way in Portland so I prefer that he stay with a friend instead of drive the hour back home. Plus, having the bed all to myself for a night is a luxury.

    But if your guy doesn't give you a heads up, you should be rightly upset.

  • Only time my DH has time for a guys night anymore is at his childhood buddies bachelor parties. He doesn't come home because we live 6 hours from there. I would hate for him to think I am pressuring him to drink, and drive. I prefer him home every night, but he is just my best friend, I trust him, he wouldn't want to hurt me, and I hate when he has to leave for work for weeks at a time, but it is part of the job. So maybe out of my experience, I don't see having a guys night to be horrible, but if they are often, or if your partner is taking advantage of the situation, that is not ok. I hope you can work it out. Being pregnant you are already a mommy in my book, daddy's sometimes takes a lot longer to figure out how to be responsible. Talk, give it time, hopefully he will figure out it hurts you two so he will stop doing it. Gl
  • I am all for him going to spend time with his buddies and have a good time but he has been going out and staying out all night at least once a week lately and I am lucky if I even get a date night every week. I feel very alone and I get very nervous when he stays out that late. He tells me I'm being selfish for asking that he schedules guys night earlier so he can be home at a reasonable time. My big reason is because I don't trust most of the people he hangs out with. He doesn't even really trust them that's why he won't just have guys night at our house.
  • same here! DH and I have the same friends, most are in relationships. He's not from here so all of his friends from college moved back to the east coast, so he's really limited on friends. My best friends are my cousin and his boyfriend- my DH will hang out with them if i'm not around. If DH was out and I never heard from him, I'd pull an "Amelie" and think of all the worst things happening on the buses and trains and that he was somehow nvolved. Panic attacks haha

  • Birdee212Birdee212
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited June 2015
    @Kayleeandryan His behavior seems suspicious to me. Do you get the sense that he's stressed about the new baby and just trying to escape more, or do you think something else is going on?

    Edited for clarity: Ok, maybe not "suspicious", but it would definitely upset me, too. From the way you described it, it just sounds like he all of a sudden started going out all the time and gets defensive when you ask him to not stay out so late.

  • He rarley drinks so he has maybe twice and Im ok with it. It's when he thinks we should get it on when he gets home Im not ok with haha.
  • My fiancé works overnight so he doesn't go out at night. Lol. He also spends the majority of his time outside of work with me if I'm around. He doesn't have very many guy friends that he socializes with due to being a workaholic. He works about 70 hours a week on average so he likes to spend his free time with me!

    Occasionally he goes out with friends and if I'm not with him, he texts me the whole time and comes home at a decent hour.
  • My husband works full time and goes to school full time. He goes out once in a blue moon, and when he does, he's back by 1:00 AM.
  • Hell no! Im very proud to say that I married a man that has no interest in getting wasted and/or partying all night long. If he wants to go out drinking, he wants me there with him and we keep it brief :)
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  • My ex did and it was too much drama for me. I feel once you have children your priorities should change. Even I have married friends that go out together all the time and leave their kids with a sitter until morning, even if their kids are sick and I don't agree with that. Yes we all need adult time, but people take it too far.
  • My husband has a poker night with his buddies every so often. It's always at a friends house and he is almost always home by midnight. I don't really set out rules for him on when he should be home or what he should do but we both have an unspoken rule of if you are going to be home after the other one goes to bed, send a text with an approximate time you will be home. I trust all the friends he hangs out with though so I am not too concerned. He distanced himself from the heavy partiers on his own while we were dating. I never told him he needed to but I was happy when he did. 

  • My hubby and I have the same circle of friends. We are not into bar hopping. However, for the gentlemen in our group a "boys night" consists of drinking and playing video games. If it takes place at friends house he will spend the night. Often times well go to a friends place together and I'll leave him there because I want to sleep in my own bed. This will probably change when baby is born, so I'm letting him enjoy life now.
  • Yes it's all ona
    Sudden. He used to talk about how couples should go out together not apart and things so I always thought we were on the same page.
    Hoping it's just him trying to be a "bachalor" before the baby comes. But I don't know. We got in a huge fight because I asked him last night to come home at a decenct time. He knows how it makes me feel. And I'm not a bitchy wife who gives him a
    Bunch of rules or anything. I just wish he would respect that I'm asking for a reason not just to be a bitch
  • pinkj4182 said:

    My husband very rarely goes out. But when he does I don't care when he comes home. He is an adult and can make responsible choices on his own. I'm not his mother, I'm his wife. Everyone needs time for themselves, I garuntee if a man told you to come home by midnight you would shit a brick and stay out til sunrise, just because. I can't stand when woman try to control their man. Women need to remember you can not change a man, with marriage, a baby, with nothing. We are wives/girlfriends, not their moms! If your man isn't responsible, well that's just who he is, until he makes the choice to change. No amount of nagging or complaining will change him, it will just create conflict.

    Yep exactly. I would actually love it if my homebody husband would go out some more or do stuff with his guy friends. He has awesome friends but basically never sees them anymore. It's sad- they're really solid guys.

    And I agree- you can't change a man. What you see is what you get. No sense even in trying.

  • Dirty lurker here! When my SO goes out with friends without me, which is honestly rare, all I ask is that he calls me if he's not coming home. I'd rather him crash at a friend's house than drive home drunk. I'm certainly not going to go get him after 11pm unless he's stranded somewhere in public. Playing the car switching game the next day is the worst!
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  • My husband only really goes out for bachelor parties and the past few years those have been trips to Vegas and the Ozarks. I know they stayed out all night, but since it's so rare I don't mind and as a previous poster said I'm his wife, not his mother and I don't dictate what's an appropriate time to be home. I trust him and his judgment. He takes care of his family and responsibilities so if he wants to let loose and go out with his guys - I'm not going to stop him.
  • My boyfriend mostly hangs out with his cousins and brothers. There's a handful of friends he socialize with but I trust them. It does still irritate me when he stays out super late ( super late to me is 2am). Like another person said, priorities should change once a child is in the picture. I will gladly trade in my party days to spend late nights in with my baby.
  • Hell. No. There is no reason why he cannot call me to come get him. My husband has known since we first got together that sleeping in seperate places is a big no no for me. Unless one of us is out of town, which has only happened a few times in the 6yrs we've been together, then both of our butts better be in the same bed.
  • Thank God my husband doesn't go out much. I don't think I could handle it. when he does he "usually" does well and gets home when supposed to. Except when he's out with his one pesky cousin he came home @ 3 am one time and I was livid. He slept in the guest room for a few days . :-w
  • We've been married 12 years. Completely unacceptable. It wasn't acceptable before having kids (9 years ago) and hasn't been since. I'm 34 and my husband is 44. Maybe we're just old, lol. This sounds absolutely ridiculous to me. We both have social lives. Together and separately. He seems very immature and disrespectful. Hope he starts treating you more fairly.
  • My husband is a musician and has been in rock bands as long as I've known him. I don't know if that counts as "guy's night," but whenever he has a gig, I can count on him being out until 3:00am or later. He's never stayed out until the sun comes up though. He plays out waaaay less since our DD was born 2 years ago, but once a month or so, he still rocks out. I love that he gets to perform and enjoy that creative outlet. I wouldn't change that about him for the world! Him being is bass player is one of the reasons I fell in love with him in the first place.
  • Oh HELL NO! He will go see the avengers or go,watch a hockey game at a friends house. He does Magic the gathering sometimes but he is never home last 11ish. Twice a year he does an overnight trip to see a 49ers game and a Giants game.,
  • My husband rarely goes out. When it's "guys night" I'm actually usually there because I am there dd. Since the beginning of our relationship I've done this for him and it doesn't bother me at all.

    His best friend since high school just got back from Afghanistan 2 weeks ago and he's the only person he goes out with, so it's been almost a year since that. Lol. And in the last 2 weeks we've done drunk arcades and 2 different strip clubs. I'd much rather my husband and his friend call me or take me with then drive drunk or waste money on a cab and leave their car somewhere. Plus, these 2 like to get into trouble so if I'm not there they may end up in jail.
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