Would you be ok w/ your SO going to strip clubs? — The Bump
December 2015 Moms

Would you be ok w/ your SO going to strip clubs?

Marchmellow2Marchmellow2 member
2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers Second Anniversary
edited June 2015 in December 2015 Moms
If it's a bachelor party then that doesn't count. I think we are all at least somewhat ok with them going to a bachelor party. I'm talking about just going to strip clubs whenever he wants or whenever his friends want.

Would you be ok w/ your SO going to strip clubs? 240 votes

Of course, why not?!
21% 51 votes
No, hell no!
69% 166 votes
Special - answer below.
9% 23 votes

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Re: Would you be ok w/ your SO going to strip clubs?

  • I would just end up getting jealous and annoyed. I get annoyed with the attention he gets already >.>
    Marchmellow2Baby3oo
  • I am not knocking down the door begging him to go, but I'm not crying on my knees stopping him.

    1. Look, don't touch.
    2. Prior to us being married, I went to a male strip club for a bachelorette party and he went to a female one for a bachelor party. Neither one of us was particularly bothered.
    3. That was years ago, and while I don't feel tremendously different about it, if I asked him not to he would not go and vice versa.
    4. We probably have no business going anyway. What you wanna see? I got it. HA!
    Marchmellow2lupita99
  • See I can get a bachelor party and I trust him that he won't disrespect me and our marriage but for a guys night or random night out I can't get on board with it. Those that don't care, do you care if he goes out to a bar and had women all over him? Or dancing inappropriately? 
    Marchmellow2nmonty15
  • I answered yes, but under the assumption that its a bachelor party.  The only time my DH has been to a strip club it has been b/c of a bachelor party.  I would probably be pretty pissed if he just started hanging out at them all time time for no reason other than to look at other women.  

    Marchmellow2daylynj
  • Meh i think its natural to look, however, if he was going alone or for more than just a guys night/bachlor party i would have to question it. He finds most of them boring anyways and would rather have beers in his garage with the boys lol...says he likes the challenge of a hormonal pregnant wife bahaha
    erikaalzetMarchmellow2SidneyElizabeth1012Praying41
  • Marchmellow2Marchmellow2 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers Second Anniversary
    edited June 2015
    Lol I changed the description in the poll. Because bachelor parties don't count!!

    *my lol means I'm laughing out loud! Not at anyone! I laugh a lot.

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    rewareamw2133
  • Haha.  Well then @Marchmellow2:  No, hell no!  

    Marchmellow2Baby3oonmonty15
  • My hubby and I have contemplated going together, just for fun. We never have but it's on our bucket list (weird I know), luckily he really doesn't have a desire to go to one these days. He's been to a few in his younger days though. Totally okay!
  • It doesn't really bother me. In fact, it doesn't bother me at all now that I'm pregnant because I'm really digging my pregnant body. I feel so much more confident. I'd be more likely to get up on that pole right now than at my slimmest.

    reware
  • Hell no multiplied by infinity!!! ;)
    We live in a city with nearly 500K people but only 2-3 clubs and they are reportedly gross. Plus, the guy friends I've talked to about them say that without a doubt whenever you go you'll see a stripper you know from high school and it's super awkward :-h
    kleshellelittleSkittle14asc88nmonty15
  • I'm indifferent also. He's gone once or twice for bachelor parties and finds them gross. He's like "Why would I spend money at some chick when I can get myself some clothes or shoes." That's how I feel about gambling lol. I suck at the slots. 
    Due 11.16.17
    Baby Girl 12.9.15
    MC 2.1.15 @ 5 W - Chemical
    MC 4.7.14 @ 21 W - Turners Syndrome

  • I couldn't care less if DH went to a strip club. I've been to numerous strip clubs. So has he. We've even been to them together. 

    I trust my DH completely and know that him going to a strip club does not (and never will) end in cheating. I have no problem with putting dollar bills in g-strings. I have no issue with lap dances. If he were to go into one of the back rooms with a girl? Yeah, I probably wouldn't be okay with that but I have full confidence that it wouldn't happen. 

    All of that being said, strip clubs are not something that either of us would put on our "common things to do" list. He's been a few times, mainly for bachelor parties and for friends/his brother when they were leaving to go into the military. I went once in college with a big group of girls and we've both been a few times in Vegas and to one show in Thailand. It's more of a novelty experience that we're open to if it comes up. I would never tell him he can't go. He would never tell me I couldn't go. But I can guarantee that those experiences are few and far between and if they became a frequent occurrence my opinion might change.
    BostonBaby1yl1m32015rewareamw2133
  • So, with the bachelor party exception... I still don't think I fit into "hell no", but I'm also not "oh yeah sure, why not?" If it's when his friends want to, I think I'm still ok with it, as long as he's honest with me about it.
  • Sorry, but I want to throw a twisted here ladies. How about if DH went to the strip club when it was the six week wait after baby is born? I'm thinking I might change my mind about that one. Not sure though. I trust DH implicitly.
    amw2133
  • To me, it all depends. If he was going 2 or 3 times a week then I'd have a problem with it because we don't have the money to blow at strip clubs ... plus it would look kind of suspicious to me if he was going that often. If he wanted to go every now and then with his group of friends then I'd be all for it. Thankfully, SO has already 'been there done that' so we haven't had to have a conversation about it.
  • My boyfriend goes on the rare occasion with his guy friends but they like to go and laugh at the situation. They are from a small town and there's two strip clubs and all the women are older and not good looking so it's more of a funny thing than a sexual thing.
  • Marchmellow2Marchmellow2 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers Second Anniversary
    edited June 2015

    Sorry, but I want to throw a twisted here ladies. How about if DH went to the strip club when it was the six week wait after baby is born? I'm thinking I might change my mind about that one. Not sure though. I trust DH implicitly.

    Nope. Why would he need to go to a strip club in that 6 week window? So he can get off? I mean serious question, why? What would be the reasoning?

    *edited typo

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    BostonBaby1littleSkittle14asc88
  • Sorry, but I want to throw a twisted here ladies. How about if DH went to the strip club when it was the six week wait after baby is born? I'm thinking I might change my mind about that one. Not sure though. I trust DH implicitly.
    No, but not because it's the six week wait ... more so because it's the "we're bonding as a family." We've talked about and I've expressed that for me those first six weeks are family time ... we may have family outings or get togethers with friends but neither one of us will be doing much general going out during that time. If we hadn't already talked about that and it was okay, I still wouldn't have a problem with it being a strip club. I say that now ... but who knows how I would feel in the actual situation.
    BostonBaby1CMDD
  • I was just thinking that it's a very emotional time. And like @kyleneum13 said, it's a time for bonding.

    @Marchmellow2 I wasn't thinking about it in terms of "getting off," it puts an interesting twist on it though. I for one plan to be giving DH loving in other ways during that time (if the time comes for us.)
    Marchmellow2VesperLoveamw2133
  • Before getting pregnant, I wouldn't have had any issue. Now that I am pregnant, and after pregnancy we will have a baby at home, I don't think a night out at the strip club would be appropriate!
    nmonty15banicholaw34
  • So this is my opinion. I don't see a problem with it if it's an occasional thing, but I also think that any man worth his salt wouldn't WANT to go if he had a lady at home giving him what he wants. My ex went all of the time and it didn't bug me at all, but when he started posting pics of girls giving him lap dances that really pissed me off. However he ended up being gay (after we dated for YEARS) so I think it was a huge cover up type thing. My current man used to go all of the time with friends but now says he has no reason to go and would rather see me naked than a bunch of girls who have the eyes of every other man on them.

    Porn is a different story though, he'll watch port every now and then which didn't used to bother me but now it does lol
  • CMDDCMDD member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    I could not care less. I would be happy to go with DH if he wanted to. He happens to find them to be disgusting places. For me, all I can think of in a strip club is that I want to take some Windex and wipe down the poll! If he did like to go, even if he went without me, my rule would be that he has to wash his own clothes of other women's bodily fluids. However, I would not be okay with him being addicted to strip clubs. Or sleeping with strippers. There's no sex in the Champagne room! @CMDD this is why I think it was incredible that your DH ripped off his scrubs superman-style that were covered in lady juices! * edited to add that sleeping with anybody else would not be acceptable. This includes prostitutes and blowjobs from transgender people in the park.
    LOOOOL posting to mention that what @Bostonbaby1 is referencing here is when DH came home from a night shift having done many CSections and Vag deliveries and his disposable scrubs were filthy! Hahah not from a strip club. I dont think i'd respect a man who went to strip clubs...but thats just me.


    Marchmellow2BostonBaby1amw2133Synnovus
  • CMDDCMDD member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    My boyfriend goes on the rare occasion with his guy friends but they like to go and laugh at the situation. They are from a small town and there's two strip clubs and all the women are older and not good looking so it's more of a funny thing than a sexual thing.
    this comes off very cruel :(


    BostonBaby1SidneyElizabeth1012himmcnewmanmini
  • In my city, it's against ordinance for full nudity. The girls have to wear tassels and g-strings. He didn't go to strip clubs before the ordinance so it's not a concern of mine. Once the ordinance passed, we both wonder what the draw is and are genuinely surprised we haven't seen any close.
    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    nmonty15
  • I would be ok with it, agreeing with most you ladies on the every once and awhile. If it became weekly habits well that would need to be discussed.
    Up here in Canada it's full nude - no tops or bottoms B-)
  • CMDD said:



    My boyfriend goes on the rare occasion with his guy friends but they like to go and laugh at the situation. They are from a small town and there's two strip clubs and all the women are older and not good looking so it's more of a funny thing than a sexual thing.

    this comes off very cruel :(

    Yeah, it makes me feel sad for the dancers that men would go to purposely mock them.

  • jlynne1290jlynne1290 member
    10 Comments Photogenic
    edited June 2015
    They aren't rude to them it's just funny for them. I couldn't believe they were cruel to them women by any means. I know they are friendly to the women and tip them. They just don't see any thing sexual about it.
  • I guess before when I was not as comfortable with myself I would have said "hell no", but I totally don't really care now! Don't get me wrong I would want a heads up and it couldn't be all the time, but every once in a while why not! I personally think that strip clubs are gross, but if it's a thing he wanted to do it with his friends so be it! I will tell him I'm going shopping!
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  • In my city, it's against ordinance for full nudity. The girls have to wear tassels and g-strings. He didn't go to strip clubs before the ordinance so it's not a concern of mine. Once the ordinance passed, we both wonder what the draw is and are genuinely surprised we haven't seen any close.
    Similar to this, in our area there's also no alcohol allowed ... I find that weird. Simply because I can't imagine strib clubs completely sober. I know for a fact that when I've been I definitely need a drink in hand. Granted, I'm sure a lot of the patrons drink before they get there but to not serve alcohol? I guess it's safer for the ladies that way but it still makes it seem really awkward to me. 
    BostonBaby1amw2133
  • Helllllll no. My EX HUSBAND use to go alllllllll the time before moving to Hawaii and was so used to it that he "needed to watch porn" just as often because he was so used to it. (Hawaii doesnt have strip clubs thank god). Any way, there is a reason he is an ex husband. My bf however would not think about it just knowing that it's a Nono to me. If you aren't comfertable there should be no reason for them to go? Strangers vs your supposed love of your life isn't that hard of a call I would imagine.
    nmonty15Synnovus
  • My husband occasionally goes, I don't mind. He's even asked me to come with before and I've gone on a night out with my girlfriends. I see nothing to worry about (and stripclubs in Guam are VERY diff from ones in the states!) these women are working and he is going to just to hang with his friends and fit into what they are wanting to do that evening.
  • I wouldn't say he couldn't go, but I wouldn't encourage it either. The strip clubs in STL (or the 'Eastside'/ East St. Louis in IL) are pretty crusty, so that would be part of my objection (i.e. that he was hanging out in nasty places when he could be hanging out with me). They remind me of casinos, which I'm not fond of either. 

    @knottie07740708 that kind of habit would freak me out too!

    It would gross me out to think my bf is a lech if he went to strip clubs all the time, and I wouldn't have started dating him if that's how I thought of him. Imagining my ex bf (who liked strip clubs) as an older guy and still going icks me out. 


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    Knottie07740708
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