A friend just told us she was preggo, she is due the day we would have been.

MVCL7788

I am so happy for her, but also so SO sad.  I'm blaming it partly on my hormone levels.  How long did everyone feel just this sort of overwhelming sad when someone else announced their pregnancy?  Maybe it is mostly because of our shared due date? (Christmas Eve/Day)  I know everyone grieves differently, so the "overwhelming sad" will vary person to person. I want to be supportive of her and give her all the joy I have in my heart.  She does not know about our loss, and I don't want to share it with her because she is the type of kind-hearted person who will then feel like she can't share her joys with us and I don't want her to feel that way.  I just want to be able to spend time with her throughout her pregnancy without feeling sad, and I'm not sure how to go about it at this stage.  It has only been about 3 weeks since our m/c so maybe that's why it feels so raw with her announcement? 

blueskies

I'm so sorry for your loss!  I've had two early miscarriages since November, and the losses are no longer as raw as they had been, but they're still painful to think about.  I imagine it'll feel less raw for you as time goes on, but it very well may continue to be painful for you throughout your friend's pregnancy.  My younger sister is due to have a baby next month, 9 days after I would've been due.  I didn't tell her about our loss either, for the same reason you stated, and I want to be excited for her.  I'm happy that she's happy, and I wish her the best, but even now that I'm pregnant again, it's still painful to see her post pictures of her great big bump or to read her texts about baby movements, etc.  In the first few months of her pregnancy, I could barely stand to look at all of her texts, because they were a frequent reminder of what I'd have been experiencing or how big my baby would've been.  Frankly, I'm glad right now that she lives in another state, because at least I get some distance from it.  Don't be surprised if you feel similarly - it's harder to move on when you have so many reminders of your loss.  I guess I don't have any great advice for you, but I can certainly empathize.  I think it will help that you're obviously thoughtful enough to be considerate of her feelings, but if it does get to be too much for you, you might want to just come out and tell her that, while you're happy for her and want to share in her joy, it is painful for you, so that she understands when you might not be ecstatic when she feels the baby move, etc.