Helping a friend cope

AnnaLynnKingston

Soon after becoming pregnant last year my best friend announced that she too was pregnant and was two weeks behind me. We were ecstatic and spent a glorious nine weeks messaging (we live on opposite sides of the Atlantic) about the wonderful luck and amazing vacations our families would have together.

At her twelve week ultrasound she received horrific news. Her pregnancy had not progressed beyond six weeks. Within a couple weeks her body began the process of ridding itself of the unsuccessful pregnancy.

She is now pregnant again and so anxious and stressed. For those of you that have experienced a miscarriage do you have any advice on how I can help her (calm her, reassure her) etc.

Thank you!
Anna Lynn

rachrobertson

That is a difficult question to answer. Everyone grieves differently and nothing anybody says can take my fear of it happening again away. I also listen more to what people that have experienced a loss have to say vs. Those that can't imagine the pain I have been through. I know people mean well,but personally, nobody but God knows what is in store for me. Therefore, nothing anyone says would give me peace of mind. A guy I work with lost his 16y.o. Son and we were talking the other day. He said people always say 'i cant imagine what that would be like'. His response to that is 'yes, you can imagine what it would be like to lose your child, what you cant imagine is the incredible pain you feel.' That is so true and there really isn't much you can say to give them peace of mind. Sorry for the rambling....however, acknowledging the fact that she has the fear of it happening again is important. I get so annoyed when people act like nothing has happened when it is still very new for me.

jacobsone2

Yes I agree! It is very hard taking advice from someone that hasn't been through it. I don't know if there is anything you can ever say to take her fears away, but you can definitely be there to listen! Let her tell you what she is afraid of and be there for her all the way.

jdubs0891

I know every woman is different but I know one thing for every woman going through a MC is the horrible feeling of loss... Sometimes the only thing you can do is be there for her comfort and re assure her she's loved. I'm going through it and that's the best thing I have right now, is family support.