PLEASE HELP! :( I think my boyfriend is... — The Bump
January 2016 Moms

PLEASE HELP! :( I think my boyfriend is...

I think he's breaking up with me or he already did or idk and I'm sooooo scared. He has been acting strange ever since we found out I was pregnant. We've been arguing non stop every single day because he decides to argue over the smallest things. I don't even want to argue back or stress because I'm scared of a miscarriage so I stay calm. He then ignores me for hours or a whole day and I will know nothing about him. I don't want to be a single mother. What do I do? I'm so scared. I didn't have a father and I don't want my baby to not have a father either. Please help with advice please. I suffer from anxiety/ panic attacks and I'm really trying to stay calm but idk how much longer I can.

Re: PLEASE HELP! :( I think my boyfriend is...

  • This guy sounds like bad news. I'm sorry. I completely understand how scared you are. Please know though that if he is treating you badly now, it WON'T improve after your baby arrives, and it could be a dangerous situation for the both of you. I know you don't want your baby to grow up without a father, but it's better to grow up without a father than with one who mistreats ANYONE. My dad didn't treat my mom well and it was a scary situation. You are so much stronger than you know and you have a support system, even if it's just all of us on this forum. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Thank you very much. I'm trying so hard to stay strong.
  • I agree, if he's acting like this now when you just found out, he is certainly not going to change his act when the baby arrives. The best thing for you and YOUR baby is to realize if you want him around or not. If not, get him for child support and do everything you can to be the best of both parents for your little one. Hopefully you will find a man that will love you and your child. You don't have to be treated like this... I'm sorry, I know it's not really what you wanted to hear. :( just remember everything does happen for a reason. Maybe a year or two from now you will be in a totally different scenario and you'll be happy. (: good luck!
  • My advice, talk to him... Tell him that you are going through enough right now and that if he is not ready for this than he has to leave. The most important thing is for you to have as little stress as possible. He may just be extremely nervous about becoming a father and he is not handling it well. But if he truly does care about you and this baby than he will try to change his ways. Good luck to you!
    vidatorr
  • MJandErin said:

    My advice, talk to him... Tell him that you are going through enough right now and that if he is not ready for this than he has to leave. The most important thing is for you to have as little stress as possible. He may just be extremely nervous about becoming a father and he is not handling it well. But if he truly does care about you and this baby than he will try to change his ways. Good luck to you!

    I have talked to him. Thank you.
  • I avoid giving relationship advice at all costs. I will share this with you though. The world is full of wonderful single moms who never wanted to be in that position. All of us FTMs are imagining the ideal worlds that we will create for our children that may never come true, but I have no doubt that each of us will be amazing moms nevertheless.
    My best friend's son never knew his dad. The only dad he's ever known is the one who adopted him. He's just as much his dad as if he had made him.
    vidatorrSparklesCMJandErin
  • I avoid giving relationship advice at all costs. I will share this with you though. The world is full of wonderful single moms who never wanted to be in that position. All of us FTMs are imagining the ideal worlds that we will create for our children that may never come true, but I have no doubt that each of us will be amazing moms nevertheless.
    My best friend's son never knew his dad. The only dad he's ever known is the one who adopted him. He's just as much his dad as if he had made him.

    Yes, I know. My mom is a single mom of 3 daughters and did well. Thanks.
  • It's time to focus on you and the baby. Let him go off and figure his own crap out. It's going to be hard, but that baby is all that matters now. Stressing about him and forcing something that isn't working isn't worth it.
    And maybe giving him some space and not being available to him, may open his eyes to what he'll be missing. Take away his power to determine your future. Don't let your fear of being alone keep you with an undeserving guy, because the right one is out there.

    Find your support system and lean on them when needed. It's all easier said then done, but just keep thinking about the baby and get your strength from that.
    Good luck!
    vidatorrMomona1
  • On another note - have you told your mother yet? She may be the best person to talk to about this since she knows you and your BF the best ( at least better than us). She might have some great advise about the relationship, etc.

    Yes, she talked to him and to me today after she saw how upset I was. She did give advice. Thank you.
    SparklesC
  • It's time to focus on you and the baby. Let him go off and figure his own crap out. It's going to be hard, but that baby is all that matters now. Stressing about him and forcing something that isn't working isn't worth it.
    And maybe giving him some space and not being available to him, may open his eyes to what he'll be missing. Take away his power to determine your future. Don't let your fear of being alone keep you with an undeserving guy, because the right one is out there.

    Find your support system and lean on them when needed. It's all easier said then done, but just keep thinking about the baby and get your strength from that.
    Good luck!

    Yeah I know. I thought about that. For now we worked it out.. But we'll see how long it lasts before he picks up an argument again.. Then I won't bother anymore. Thank you so much for your kind words.
  • Ok glad you guys talked! Guys sometimes have a hard time adjusting to pregnancies. I hope it all works out for you :)
    vidatorr
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