MIL micromanaging baby photos

hrfawcett

I just have to vent. I flew to Michigan for a couple of baby showers this past weekend. My MIL gave me some clothes and a nice blanket she made along with those monthly stickers in the shape of a tie. At the shower she says she is going to "harass" me every month until I send her a picture of her grandson. I just let it go, because it's months away and if she does harass me, I can confront her about it then. THEN when we're talking on the phone a couple days ago she says " I expect you to take a monthly picture of my grandson on the blanket I made with the ties I gave you." And I was basically speechless until I said that "yea I'd planned on taking a photo of him every month", not committing to taking the photos her way.

Am I crazy hormonal or is my MIL insane. I don't need her to art direct photos of my child. I'm a very good photographer and I plan to make him a blanket of my own. If anything I will take photos where I want with stuff I made him. And I really don't need her "harassing" me to take photos of my newborn from states away. My plan is to wait and see what happens. If she does start to harass me or whatever, then DH or I will have to say something. Thoughts?

Miz_Liz

She is probably just excited - since you will be taking photos of him monthly anyway, I don't think it is a big deal to plop him on the blanket she made and snap a photo. Just count yourself lucky that she is states away and you don't have to deal with daily drop-ins....look at taking one photo per month as getting off easy!

hclzmm14

She will probably harass you. Mine texts me "pic today?" If I don't send her a picture every. Single. Day. Like HELLO sometimes she doesn't do anything super special to take a picture of... I just let it go because she lives a thousand miles away, and I know it probably sucks to miss out on her growing up. Babies change so much even weekly, so I can empathize with how much they miss.

And I think you'll love to snap pictures monthly anyway, so any excuse is a good excuse

emmacake08

Sounds like a control issue. She's obviously only thinking from her perspective about what she wants because since she won't be around, she has to rely on you. I agree with the above advice that you'll be taking loads of pictures and it will probably be a non issue. I get pissy about anyone mandating how I do things. Whatever happened to people just waiting and seeing? But again, I think this all comes back to the fact that you'll be with LO all the time and she won't be and so these directives are her way of feeling better about the distance. I wish people communicated better, bossiness in the name of love is not cute on anyone!

hrfawcett

Thanks for the perspective, ladies.

I find myself more sensitive to her bossiness than usual. Couple that with the fact that she keeps saying "our baby" and it throws me for a loop.

Luckily I can blame it on hormones for now

dkizz82

Just appease her. Switch the blanket out and send her a picture. My friends have given me things that ARE NOT my taste and they all want pictures of her in it. If they were nice enough to think of us and buy something I can put her in it and snap a pic.

Miz_Liz

hrfawcett said:

Thanks for the perspective, ladies.

I find myself more sensitive to her bossiness than usual. Couple that with the fact that she keeps saying "our baby" and it throws me for a loop.

Luckily I can blame it on hormones for now

Trust me, I get it. My MIL always called DS, "my baby" when I was pregnant (and after)...pissed me off something fierce!! Now, almost 3 years later, we are FINALLY mending our relationship (there was a LOT more to it than her calling him that). Sometimes it is easier to just shrug it off since she lives far away (which I am very jealous of might I add ). If she keeps getting pushier, you can find polite ways to tell her to knock it off - sometimes even just a sarcastic "joking" response. When my MIL called DS "my baby" one too many times, she said, "And how is my baby?" I said, "He is 31 and poops in the big boy potty all by himself, I am so proud of him!!" I said it in a "joking" way, but I think she took the hint!

jlsweets

I get how you are feeling - especially with your first, that and the added hormones can make you extra sensitive to these types of comments. My MIL bought all these outfits for my first that I personally would never put him in, she kept asking for pics so I sucked it up dressed him in the outfits and took some pictures. At the end of the day everyone's happy and less stress.