Scared to miscarry, what brings you comfort?

jkpesina2014

This is technically my husband and my second pregnancy. The first one we didn't know and I miscarried at 7 weeks. The day we found out we were pregnant was the day we found out I miscarried and it was very upsetting. It was only a few months ago and now we are pregnant again and know much earlier but I'm at 4 weeks and having cramping and period like symptoms and I'm scared to miscarry again. I've taken more OTC tests to reassure myself I'm still pregnant but is there anything else you can do? I don't see my doctor til July 8 for my first appointment (10 weeks) and I don't wanna keep buying these tests til then.

NoSugarCoating

Honestly, stop taking the tests. They cannot tell you the viability of your pregnancy. Tests will still show up positive even if you miscarry, until all the HGC is out of your system. 

You are pregnant until you are told otherwise. 

HeatherHi12510

Start taking prenatal vitamins. I use the brand similac..recommend by doctors! And also I know it's easier said then done. But don't stress !!!!!!

chrystalgriffith

Try listening to your body rest keep stress low and try your best to relax .

whit3183

I totally understand your anxiety due to being pregnant after a loss.  First, the good news is that mild cramping and period-like symptoms (bloating, mood swings, headaches, breakouts, etc.) are also totally normal early pregnancy symptoms.  The only reason to be alarmed is if you have bleeding/spotting, and even then, it may be totally fine (but obviously call your doctor asap if you have spotting).  

In terms of what you can do, I would ask to see your doctor earlier than 10 weeks.  From what I've read on here, it seems like doctors are pretty stringent in the UK/Australia when it comes to making you wait until 10-12 weeks, but if you are in the US, I can tell you based on my personal experience and the experience of close friends that it is totally normal for doctors to see someone as early as 6-7 weeks if they've had a prior miscarriage or any type of fertility issues.  It's not that there is anything that can be done, but it's more about reassurance. 

Mamabeagle

I honestly read the "odds of not having a miscarriage" thread, which breaks it down day by day.

groovylocks

Statistics. Those are on your side. And each passing day, those get better and better. Cramping right now is normal. It's good stuff making you cramp.

Melissadmag

You could always get an earlier ultrasound at a 3D ultrasound place if there's one around you. You get to hear the heart beat and see the baby. Stop stressing about it though, I know it's hard but stressing wont prevent it, whatever is meant to be is what will happen. I think you might want to look into the 3D ultrasound thing though since your first appointment is so far out. If you hear the heartbeat then the chance of a MC dramatically decreases. Good luck! 

enigmaticjj

Lurking from 3rd trimester (FTM).  I had a miscarriage the first time I was pregnant before I had a chance to have my first OB appointment.  When I found out I was pregnant again, I worried a lot too.  It was hard to really embrace it because I was afraid I'd lose it again.  I agree with PPs about not taking the at home test anymore because it's not like your HCG levels are going to suddenly go down to 0 if something bad did happen, so it would still test positive for awhile anyway.

Here are a few things that helped me along...

1. Keeping in mind that (for some reason) it's not uncommon for people to have an early miscarriage their first time and isn't an indicator it will happen again
2. I happened to have my yearly pap appointment the day after I took the at home pregnancy test (for my current pregnancy) so the OB went ahead and did a blood test to confirm...I then went back a week later to have them do the blood test again to make sure my HCG levels were rising (that really helped ease my mind a bit because one test on it's own only shows where you're at right now, but you want to see the trend of the levels rising) - maybe see if the doctor office will let you come in to do this by using your prior experience as a reason
3. I also felt a bit better once I reached and passed the point where I miscarried before (it was like a milestone)
4. The next milestone was when we could hear the heartbeat (that's when the risk drops a good amount

evavivalasvegas

When I first found out I was pregnant I was 4-5 weeks pregnant & having period cramps to. Now I am almost 8 weeks pregnant & those pains went away, they said that early pregnancy can almost feel like your period. That when the egg implants you feel cramping and sometimes spotting. I say don't stress, I try not to stress. This is my first pregnancy and I am strong in my faith that everything is going to be ok.  

groovylocks

Another thing you should keep in mind that really helped me between finding out and my first ultrasound?

There is no better place, in fact no other possible place, for a baby to grow. She's literally in a high-attention, critical care ward with the best round-the-clock attention possible. If you're doing all the right things (no smoking, eating right, sleeping well, not taking hard drugs) her changes are very, very good.

Think of it this way. We have been carrying and bearing children since the beginning of mammals. And we've come this far, almost completely without any kind of medical care or knowing anything about prenatal safety. We used to HUNT in our first trimester, for crying out loud  

And yet we're still here. 

jenbstevens

The thing that brought me comfort was knowing that no amount of worrying would impact anything either way so I might as well calm down and enjoy it. I could worry myself to death but that wouldn't save the baby if something bad was meant to happen.

Also, if you miscarried today, the tests would keep showing up positive for a week or two, so there is really no reason for you to continue spending money on them or making yourself crazy with them.

I know it's hard, but sometimes you have to choose to chill instead of giving in to the things that only feed your anxiety, like taking the tests instead of just trying to trust that everything is going to be ok. For this reason I also strongly recommend NOT getting your betas done unless your doctor has ordered them. It only heightened my anxiety every time I was between testes and when I got the draw and waited to hear the number. Everything was fine, but it was a constant source of anxiety for me, and did nothing to make my fears go away even though the numbers were always normal.

bangupjob

Pretty much what everyone else said. Just know you are pregnant now. If something happens there is nothing you can do about it. Just take your vitamins and try to relax.