Help! Am I the crazy one??

belindahampton

My 13 mo and I are visiting family in Portland, Oregon from St. Louis (DH had to stay home because of work).

We're staying at my mom's house (small apartment with my brother). The other night my mom freaked out because she said I "rearranged" her "furniture" without asking and I've also been making high demands like keeping the doors closed (there are 3 doors - 2 bedrooms and a bathroom). My mom's place is cluttered beyond belief and when we arrived I asked if a Lego set full of small pieces could be moved into my brother's room (he's 18 btw and this box has been sitting there for at least 2 years). I also asked if we could keep all the doors closed since it was just me and it'd make for an easier time letting LO roam around. The "furniture" I rearranged were cords within reach and two cat stairs simply turned around so he couldn't climb on them.

After her first freak out, I let her know that I felt these were minor things and I didn't think I needed to ask because I'm her daughter and this is her grandson (she kept saying we are merely guests in her house).

Well LO woke up at 5:30 am (still not time adjusted and has an ear and eye infection that's bothering him). He wanted to take an early nap (8:30) and it was just my mom and I in the living room, all the lights were off still and the tv fairly low. I started rocking him on the couch and as he started falling asleep, my mom laughed unusually loud. Without hesitating I said "shh" - absolutely in a quiet non threatening manner. She freaked! Started saying she could laugh as loud as she wants in her own house, and what do I expect when the new baby comes (pregnant and due in Dec). She insisted that I am disrespecting her in her own house and since we are guests, we must conform to her way of living.

I'm torn!! This is probably the only time we will see her all year and I just can't be here anymore!! Aside from the fact that I'm pregnant and very hormonal, I'm without my husband and my son who has an ear infection, is having a hard time adjusting to this time zone.

I'm in the bedroom with LO who is sleeping now... and I told her we were leaving and going to my in-laws for the rest of the trip.

This is really long. But my husband isn't answering my texts bc he's as work and I don't know what to do.

Amyboxer

As much as I understand that it's "her house and she can do what she wants" I agree with you completely. If she wants to spend time with her grandson she could be more gracious and thoughtful towards his needs. He's a baby for cryin out loud. I would leave too. Sorry you have to deal with that. But you have to think about yourself and your babies first.

BADASBKRCK

Sounds like your mom forgot what it was like to have babies around. The only advice I have is to be the reasonable one...take a deep breath and explain that you want to be able to spend time with her so her grandson can get to know her but babies/toddlers do take a lot of work and adjustments have to be made. If she isn't able to help you with these adjustments then you will have to go stay elsewhere.
I think it is reasonable to have to stay elsewhere if your mom is being difficult. In the future maybe ask your mom if it is alright to do something even if it seems like a small thing. You will always be her little baby and to see you grown up, taking charge and being a mommy, must be a challenge for her

manders803

I try not to make waves ordinarily, but I think that we have to prioritize our children and that their needs come first. Especially when they are this young. If people can't respect that then it's their issue.

ksulli

^^ everything she said.

LolaX2

Your mom is being unreasonable. Yes, it is her house but if she wants you to stay there or visit with baby then it needs to be safe. The only things that you have done/changed were safety concerns. I would go stay with mil too! 

Talltrees82

I'm sorry you are dealing with this! I think it would be best to leave and go to your ILs. I agree that you have to put your baby first, and it sounds like your mom's place is not safe for a little one. She will just have to deal with it. Good luck!