Slightly annoyed - need to vent

mrsdhouse89

today at work I had a coworker make a very sexist comment about another coworker taking a WEEK of paternity leave. I think it's great that we work for a company that offers paternity leave (it's actually longer than a week) and he's able to be there for his wife. Then she made a comment about how long some women take and it's just rediculous when you have a job to do"what happened to six weeks being plenty". Why should their jobs be held for them. At this point I'm almost fuming, I stuck up for my male coworker (she still didn't get it bc she is selfish and only thinks about what benefits her and blames it on her being "old school") and then said well I'm taking 3 months off and she again made the comment about why so much time, well if it was your business it's because it's the closest thing to being a stay at home mom I'll get. Also I get the time paid for so why wouldn't I? What has me so irritated by all this is I know she stayed home as a stay at home mom with both her kids when she had them. Why is she judging me for wanting to take care of my baby? I didn't get to stay home this long with my son so I'm going to this time. She is just frustrating on almost all subjects but this one has me over the top annoyed.

Gingerella8

Opinions are like a$$holes... Everyone has one lol. Your co worker just sounds nasty, try to avoid that kind of negativity of you can!

jefinley1

I so empathize with you. I can't say enough how ridiculous the parental leave is in the US. My husband gets three days paid. He travels, so he's had to fight just to make sure he is local for a little bit around baby's due date. I know other families have it even worse. A lot of it is due to attitudes just like your coworker's affecting the laws and policies here. So instead of going on a super political and cultural diatribe, I'll just recommend you watch John Oliver's segment on paternity leave from Mother's Day weekend. It might at least make you laugh through the frustration, which is what I always find to be the best fix for calming righteous indignation.

leah665

I know it's hard but I'd just ignore her. It's not worth letting people like that get to you.

tate62610

Military gives 10 days paternity leave. I wish it were longer. Especially after a csection, I really needed his help.

LiveNLove44

It sounds like she might be a little jealous even though she doesn't recognize it. I don't know any mother who wouldn't see the value in having that time with their newborn. I know plenty of women who do enjoy going back to work, but not many who run back quickly. I think it's especially challenging with women because we expect them to just "get it" when in reality, I think it's more generational than gender-specific. I had a male coworker explain to me that women in my generation just don't understand what women in his mother's generation did for us to be able to work and have equal treatment and pay...mind you, this comment was prompted by my declining a coaching position for the two seasons when I had just had DD and was starting my master's program and was teaching an overload. He was commenting on the coaching position and me not recognizing what his mother's generation have done for us...while not acknowledging that I was already working more hours in the week than most men in our district (because apparently that matters to him). I don't know many women in that generation who would have been able to BF as long as I did while maintaining a full time job and pursuing their master's degree. The times are a'changing! I felt like I had been transported back a couple decades!!

I hope you take what she said as being part of her life experiences, and your comments were hopefully not totally lost on her! Keep fighting the good fight Let it roll off once you say what you need to say!

kgregson411

I'm taking eight months off and her husband gets the other four months. In Canada we get a year and it can be split however you want to and this is what will work for us. No need to explain to this "old school" lady why you made your decision. Everyone's different, maybe she doesn't know how people afford to take that much time off? But really lady time with you newborn is time with your newborn. I'm gonna take all I can get and be thankful I'm not at work with someone like her!