waiting game...

adbrading

Is everyone waiting until the first trimester is over to tell everyone that they are expecting? We've already told most of our family and close friends and some close co workers but I want to shout it from the rooftops!! I understand things can happen but I feel so good. I'm not even worrying about a miscarriage. And if something does happen I feel like having the support of everyone to get through it would be great. Anyway. We haven't posted it on social media yet, but even that is killing me lol. I want everyone to know!! What's your view?

lianeadine

I have no problem telling people early, I am a pretty open book. I did however have a previous ectopic so I am waiting until after my scan in Wednesday to tell family. Plus I am sure it won't be long before I have to break the news since this is my second and I have heard you get bigger faster

adbrading

lianeadine said:

I have no problem telling people early, I am a pretty open book. I did however have a previous ectopic so I am waiting until after my scan in Wednesday to tell family. Plus I am sure it won't be long before I have to break the news since this is my second and I have heard you get bigger faster

Good to know. And congratulations to you!! I was going to wait to tell EVERYONE until our midwife appointment next Thursday.

bananers

I had a loss previously and we hadn't told anyone, even parents. That was incredibly lonely to go through. With DS, we told my parents and a few very close friends, and that's it. After experiencing one miscarriage, my view is that I feel most comfortable telling the people whose support I'd want if something were to go wrong. But I don't want to have to "untell" a bunch of people or try to remember who I've told.

OP, I'm glad you're feeling good, but to say you're not even worried about miscarriage is kind of a slap in the face to those who have experienced it. Statistics are one in four. Early pregnancy is precarious. Of course it deserves to be celebrated too, but don't go getting cocky about it just yet.

adbrading

OP, I'm glad you're feeling good, but to say you're not even worried about miscarriage is kind of a slap in the face to those who have experienced it. Statistics are one in four. Early pregnancy is precarious. Of course it deserves to be celebrated too, but don't go getting cocky about it just yet.

Well I certainly wasn't trying to sound cocky. I didn't mean to offend you. I'm not worried about a miscarriage because it's out of my control. I can do everything right and something terrible could still happen. What I meant was I'm not spending my time worrying. I'm going to enjoy every second that I'm given with this baby. I am very sorry you had to go through a devastating loss. I wasn't trying and would never want to make light of that at all.

Jamilla9

I told pretty much everyone as soon as I found out my first two pregnancies but after my second pregnancy ended in a miscarriage I am just being so cautious now. My husband knows. That's it. I just don't want to possibly have to tell everyone again, that we lost a baby. That was so hard and heartbreaking.

andrea0418

The only person who knows is DH.
It took my sister 16 months to get pregnant and she just announced it a few wks ago so I don't want to steal her thunder. Probably sounds stupid but I'm going to let her enjoy being the pregnant one for awhile. She will be excited for me but I know it bothers her that I accidentally get pregnant without trying. They all know we were going to start ttgp later this summer.
Not sure when I'll tell them.

mlkmamma08

I always thought if a miscarriage was going to happen it would no matter if we told everybody or not. This thought has changed for me after my last pregnancy ending in a miscarriage. When I am grieving I tend to hide and deal with it on my own. Having everybody asking me about it was so hard and there wasn't anything they could say or do to take my pain away. I am six weeks pregnant and have decided not to announce until after first trimester. I am not nieve to think everything will be perfect after that but the chances are higher of continuing the pregnancy. Bottom line is it depends on the person and until you end up in miscarriage you may not know what truly is best.

jonesl12

We are waiting till after 12 weeks to tell. We HAVE however told our parents.:) it's hard to not let the cat out of the bag but I know from experience a miscarriage can happen and it's truly better ( in my opinion ) to not have to tell a ton of people about your loss. Just in case ! Do what YOU feel is right.

mollyj931

I'm pretty much an open book and have no problem sharing about my loss and would share if I had another, but I am waiting to tell most people.

We told everyone right away with my first pregnancy that ended in a loss and it was hard when everyone was so sad with me.
The next two we waited until we heard heartbeats. It made it easier to be able to say we were pregnant AND further along to a "safer place".

My dad is a retired obgyn so he already knows the risks with everything so just me being pregnant makes him nervous. I like to go a little easy on him at least getting to 2nd tri if that makes sense.

I think it's up to everyone's own personal preference. I do wish more women knew how common miscarriages were and there was better support. I can't believe the number of friends that have gone through it and been so surprised to learn how many of us out there have had losses. *steps off soapbox*

pjfoxall

I have told my immediate family and some of my close friends and a couple of work friends that i know wont say anything

canatian86

I told my parents on mother's day and my best friend but that's it. We want to wait until the first ultrasound at 8 weeks to tell everyone else. I've never miscarried but we want to be sure there's a healthy baby in there before we announce it to the world

DaphneMoon1

It's a personal decision. There was a thread earlier about timeline of telling people. You may find it interesting to see the different answers.

Earlier this year I had a miscarriage. We had not told anyone we were pregnant. I ended up texting my mom saying "I'm having a miscarriage" because I felt really alone. It helped to have her to talk to, but I was glad I didn't have un-tell a bunch of people. So this time I've only told my mom, because I would obviously tell her if I had another miscarriage.

I get what you're saying that you aren't worried. There is absolutely nothing you can do. I'm not 'worried', but I'm trying really hard not to get too excited yet. Last time I was imagining Christmas with a new baby and their birthdays and what year that puts them to start kindergarten. I think that made me more heart broken. This time I'm just living in the moment and being grateful I'm pregnant today.

thismplsgirl

We told our families right away with our first pregnancy and it ended up being fine. When I got pregnant with our second daughter, my SIL had just had failed IVF so we waiting until 14 weeks to tell anyone. That was tough!
I've had 2 losses since having our girls so I now fully understand the telling/un-telling thing. We are waiting to tell most people, family included, until after our second ultrasound (it will be at 8wks) even though everything looked fine yesterday. There is just so much that can go wrong in these early weeks so other than my BFF and my July '13 Bump FB group, we won't be sharing for another few weeks.

adbrading

Thank you for all of the advice ladies. I will definitley be discussing with my husband when the best time for us will be. I am truly sorry for all of your losses and I hope that we all have very healthy and happy pregnancies.

ChipMonster

We told my parents but only because I have to go back to work early and they would've figured it out. I told some very close friends that I know I'd lean on if anything were to happen. For everyone else, they'll know after our ultrasound at 12 weeks. We waited until then for our first (except for a handful of close friends). For some reason I find it easier to tell them instead of family. I guess it would really break their heart if I did have a miscarriage and I don't want them to have to go through that too.

adcc43

I have told a select few and will probably wait until after my first appointment to tell more people. I won't make an official announcement via Facebook or Instagram until 2nd tri.