FTMs over 30

Vanessa226

I'm a FTM 15w2d and I'm 32. My husband and I waited to have kids. Now that we're expecting, I feel kind of old. Our friends are pretty much done having kids. I've been to prenatal fitness classes and feel like the oldest one there. Anyone else?

NoreJoyce

I'm 32 and 15 wks 1day I feel on the older side as we'll but some if my friends don't even had kids yet and done do

Louisl

I'm FTM and 33. I live in Los Angeles where everyone has Peter Pan syndrome so we actually feel oddly young if that makes you feel better. It really varies depending on where you live, but here barely any of our friends are even married, and we're definitely the first to get pregnant. Most people here have kids mid-late 30's. We have to keep reminding ourselves that most other places in the country we would be considered old. Not here though!

beanie1977

Man, I am really old! I'm 37! I feel very old to be having my first. Plus I'm feeling out of shape! I haven't connected with a lot of other moms yet, but my cousin just had a baby at 35 (it was her 3rd child) and my best friend also just had a baby, and she's 36.  I'm still the oldest though! Haha!

LLynde5

Age is just a number!! I am 33 and it did take way longer then we thought to conceive but I don't feel old. Most of my friends have started there families within the past 3 years. I currently have 7 pregnant girlfriends, all in our 30's. (6 including me with our first). I think it's okay to wait and start a family. I personally wanted my career and the experience to travel first! I have family member that waited and keep having kids well into their 40's:)

satindawl83

I'm with @Louisl, I'm 31 and live in San Diego, and all my friends (who happen to be older) are like "aww..our baby is having a baby!" I'm one of the firsts.

However, I'm from Ohio originally and my Facebook feed has been overrun with my hometown friends having kids since we were 22. It's all relative, I guess.

I never understood the Midwest pressure to get married and have kids so early, which is one of the reasons I left.

jenboston22

I'm 30, and we're right in line with our friends... sooo many pregnancies and births going on!

leah665

I'm 32 and 16w5d. I'm from Texas and compared to my college friends I do feel like I am a little late in having kids. However, I think for me personally I waited just the right amount of time.

abaume

Who cares how old your are. Having a child at the time that is best for you is also best for the child. I am 36 and feel like I will be able to enjoy having a baby much more than I would have at a younger age. We are more financially stable, so we can afford for me to work part time. Also, I feel more mentally ready and happy to make all the sacrifices needed. I live in the Midwest but never cared about the pressure. My life is my own to live it the way that is best for me. Plus most of the people I know who had kids younger didn't plan on it.

Chippercjm

I'm 30 and don't feel that way at all, though most of my friends are on their second. I think it's great bc I hear a lot of moms can compete or judge other mommy friends so I'm grateful to just have this time to figure it out with my husband and find out what works for us instead of dealing with a bunch of others along side us learning too!

Cupcakesandquilts

I was 36 the first time and 38 this time. I'm feeling pretty old. I don't even want to think about how old I'll be when they graduate from high school!

thinkrabbit

I have grey hair that I can't dye. I'll be 40 in two months. Fortunately I feel young so I'm not to weirded out about it. I'm in LA too so this is all normal.. Ha!

Vanessa226

All of you are right, age IS just a number. I totally agree with that. We chose to wait and I'm glad we did. We've worked hard and partied hard We both feel ready to be parents now. However, we live in the Midwest and we're both Hispanic. Most people like us have kids right after high school lol. It was not easy for us to not let the pressure get the best of us.

jham201

I am 31 and a FTM.  I don't feel old at all.  Several of my friends are actually pregnant at the same time or have newborns.  I also have a lot of friends who are not married, or were just married recently, and very career driven at the moment.  I live in NJ...just outside of NYC, and I feel like the 30s is when most people around here start families.

jenboston22

JessicaHam201 said:

I also have a lot of friends who are not married, or were just married recently, and very career driven at the moment.  I live in NJ...just outside of NYC, and I feel like the 30s is when most people around here start families.

I think location and post-high school education make 30+ pregnancy much more typical among our friends than it may have otherwise been. We usually live in or near cities (Boston, etc.) and our friends typically have college degrees (and many also have graduate degrees). By the time of first pregnancy, our friends have typically gone through at least four years of post-high school education, found a partner, and started careers. On the other hand, a lot of the people I knew in high school did start having kids earlier (according to Facebook), especially those who didn't move out of our rural area and/or didn't pursue higher education. So, in general I think education in particular really delays things, but personally I prefer to have had a bit more education and life experience before starting a family... but that's just me

alexazen

31 here and I'm actually the first of my friends to be pregnant. No one else has kids yet. All of my friends are like me--chose to wait to get education, careers, and housing situation in order before starting a family. So I actually feel pretty young to be having kids! Age ain't nothing but a number mama!

handjbyrne

I'm 37 and so excited..,I know plenty of people who had kids young and I don't envy them one bit. I know myself and think I will be a great mother because of it

nsaid4u

Its funny to me because i am 31 and pregnant with our 4th,i had our 1st when i was 21 and felt so young and out of place around the mothers in their 30's. I felt like i was not up to par.

am&n

I had my first one right before I turned 31. I am 35 now, and having my third. In my area a lot of people start around 28 to 32.

mrscookiequeen

I'm 31 almost 32... and I love that it's now that we're having a baby. We dated, got married, traveled a ton, have great careers, bought an awesome house, and have money... now I'm quitting my job to stay home with our baby. I feel 100% ready to take care of my baby.. which I probably wouldn't have wanted to do at 23 or 25. I was still trying to figure out who I was back then.

choyandjill

I'm a FTM at 33. Currently 16w5d. I don't feel old to be a first time mom. But I did feel old when the pregnancy symptoms started. The nausea and the fatigue made me wonder if I'd have fared better if I had been pregnant sooner. That said, I got married at 27 and planned to have babies asap. My PCOS just didn't allow it. That's why 5 years and 1 IVF cycle later, I am pregnant with my first. My husband though, who is 35, feels kinda old for his first baby. He's thinking he'd be 52-53 by the time baby goes to college. He's comparing himself to his dad, who already had 2 working children by that age. But going back to the topic, I completely agree with everyone here, it all depends on our life situations. Some have children early and that's fine, some have it late and that's fine too. I think babies are blessings no matter what age you start having them...

waltersmom83

I'm 32, husband is 41. All our friends have kids...several! We waited bc we just didn't feel the urge. I've talked to other 30 something ftm and I truly think we took our time bc it's the responsible thing to do. Most of my friends are at war with their spouses bc they were young twenty somethings freshly married and started immediately. We change so much in our twenties, and I'm glad I truly feel my husband and I know ourselves and each other before becoming parents. Don't feel odd or weird! Feel confident!

missnoy1

I just turned 33 and we've been trying for so many years and finally conceived this year. We are just grateful and feel bless about our baby miracle. And I believe you're only as old as you feel.

ivdr

Im 32 and 15 wks 2 days with my 1st too! Due 30th October☺

deanna1313

I'm 32 and had my first at 32 and will have this baby at 33. This is the norm in a NJ. It's graduate from high school, go to college, master's degree?, get married and then have children. This is about when time allows.
It really depends on where you're from and expectations. My grandparents think we're old, but oh well! Lol

RainbowMama7

I'm 34 and doctors have been the only one making me feel old when they reference my "advanced maternal age" makes me feel over the hill!

kaya1111

I'm 33 and 17 weeks 4 days along. I didn't feel old until I went to the doctor for the genetic testing. Anyhow, I just found out two of my bridesmaids from my wedding party are also expecting and I am over the moon excited for all of us!!

anorthro

I'm 32 and my husband is 38. This is our first. For many years we both said we didn't want kids. I'm not sure when that changed or what changed it, but that's why we waited so long. Among my peer group, I'm just a little behind everyone else. My closest friends my age have kids that are between 3 months and 2. Most of the moms in my prenatal class range from their mid 20's to early 40's. I live in a pretty progressive town where most people are working professionals and delay having children a little.

mkross123

I am 30 and do not feel old at all! I had some people I know who did have kids younger, but so many others just having them now or who don't even have any yet at my age. I can't picture having had a child younger, I feel my husband and I lived our lives fully in our twenties and grew as individuals and as a couple. I keep thinking about just last summer when we did things like drive down to a Jay-z?Beyonce concert (he was a willing guest) and then road-tripped from New England to Florida with our dog to visit family and play at Disney World like big kids. I am not sure if these two things are correlated, but I have noticed we've had no issues fighting or arguing during the pregnancy and I think it's because we spent 12 years together (collectively dating and then getting married) before trying to bring another human into the mix. I know everyone is different, but I think this is the perfect period of time for us mamas! Plus my mom had me at 29 and I remember when I was growing up LOVING to hear about all of the things her and my father did before they had me. It seemed like a magical and exciting time for them and it probably affected how I approached my twenties.

StephN310

I am 33 and this isn't my first (I had them at 27 & 28) but I live in the Midwest and compared to the other people who grew up here we are old. Thankfully there are lots of "transplants" who are my age or older. I am extremely happy with my timeline. My DH started a successful business, I went to graduate school (I had two kids at that point but had finished my Bachelor's before they came along), we built a home, traveled, partied, communicated, and we are financially stable!! Parenthood can be hard on a marriage. I happy we don't have regrets or financial problems to add to that!

That being said I physically feel much older this pregnancy and do feel our bodies were meant to reproduce in our 20's, but that just doesn't fit the lifestyle of many anymore. I say we proudly celebrate our "advanced maternal age"!!

alinic916

I'm 28 and very few of my friends my age have kids yet. I think it's pretty normal to start having children in your 30s. Not old at all. I keep looking for people at work who are pregnant or have little ones so our baby can have some playmates. Luckily my husbands cousin has a 1 year old so they will grow up together.

Boonhilde

I'm 34 and I have a son who was born when I was 31. I'll be 35 by the time this baby pops out.

I do feel like most people around me started younger. However my entire family married "late" and had kids "late." There are six of us and of the five that are married and have kids, none of us married before we were 28, and only one of us had a kid in our 20's. (My brother was a few weeks shy of the big 30.)

A part of me wishes I started earlier and had lots of kids. But coulda, woulda, shoulda. Oh well!

etobias2005

You're not alone! I'll be 33 next month, 17.5 weeks along. It took longer than we'd like to conceive, but it seems like there are many others in the same boat :-)