Baby Showers for Second Child

Danlo12

I'm just curious... Do people throw showers for moms pregnant with their second? I don't remember ever going to one and I don't really want to have one, but if someone offers, what do I say? Are you supposed to register? I feel funny asking but I really have no idea...

bbiutmcph

Proper etiquette is to decline. A shower is to welcome the mother into motherhood. It appears gift grabby and tacky after that despite what you call it or what people say. Many people won't tell you to your face. If you want to celebrate the baby which is what most people justify there want for a second third or more shower have a Sip and See after the baby is born.

soberrysweet

bbiutmcph said:

Proper etiquette is to decline. A shower is to welcome the mother into motherhood. It appears gift grabby and tacky after that despite what you call it or what people say. Many people won't tell you to your face. If you want to celebrate the baby which is what most people justify there want for a second third or more shower have a Sip and See after the baby is born.

All this here. If you're unsure, it sounds like it's not commonly done in your social circle and will most likely be viewed as a faux pas. If anyone offers, I would politely decline.

danixbanani24

I think it really depends on how far apart your babies are (in years) like if you have a 10 year old now you may need baby stuff again OR if it's a different sex I think it's ok.  But if YOU don't really want one, then just politely decline  

dajeume

danixbanani24 said:

I think it really depends on how far apart your babies are (in years) like if you have a 10 year old now you may need baby stuff again OR if it's a different sex I think it's ok.  But if YOU don't really want one, then just politely decline  

I second this. I had a friend who was born 20years from the other baby she was a oops baby lol. But her mom had not for a baby and what she did have was very old and not safe.
With that being said it will look bad on you it the baby's are just a year or two apart. But it's up to you all in all and what your circle of friends and family think. Good luck.

wifething2013

My sister-in-law is due about a week after me and my mom and i want to have something small for her. It wont be a big shower like with her last baby but we just want to get together with family and celebrate the arrival of a new littke one and give her a few gifts. Nothing major. But if you dont feel confortable having a second babyshower i would say no thank you.

J1D

I've always viewed baby showers as being about the baby. Kind of like a first birthday party I have always thought baby showers were to welcome the new baby. If you are my friend I'm going to get each of your babies a birthday and Christmas gift every year, so of course I'd get a new baby a baby shower gift. This is my opinion and the way I do things. I say do whatever you are comfortable with.

jenn2132

I'll be having a shower even though it's my second child. In our families and in my social circle it's not uncommon to have showers for a second child just usually on a smaller scale than for a first baby. Do what you feel comfortable with. Me personally I wouldn't attend a shower if I thought it was in bad taste or appeared gift grabby so the thought some people would attend but talk about you behind your back baffles me. Also I rather enjoy going to showers and my favorite part is watching the mom open the gifts first baby or not but again that's just me.

gograce

I've always heard that if it's been eight+ years from your first, then it's acceptable to accept a second shower. If it's been less time then eight years, my mom has always said it's tacky.

BbyCastillo

My family always has baby showers even if it's their fourth child...same sex or not. Obviously the crib isn't done or anything big but more clothing shoes and cute gifts one wants to give baby. That's just our tradition, if something is asked for like a new stroller because they've had the same one for the past years then the parents or grandparents either give it but I've never seen big gifts be given after like the second child...unless they are different sex or there is a big gap in between the 1st child and the one coming soon.

J1D

gograce said:

I've always heard that if it's been eight+ years from your first, then it's acceptable to accept a second shower. If it's been less time then eight years, my mom has always said it's tacky.

Just asking out of genuine curiosity- what do you personally think though? I feel like a lot of us follow what our parents or friends say but what do you personally think? Like if your best friend or a new friend that you've made is having her first child since you've know her, would you want to have a party? Cause that's happened to me were someone I knew already had a child but this was their first pregnancy since I'd know them and instantly think yay, new baby! Let's have a party!!!

CaitLewis15

I had no intention of having a shower, wouldn't have thought to ask (my daughter is 8). But I realized quickly that I would risk offending friends and family if we didn't. I've discussed this with a couple of my closest friends, who want to share hostess duties, and voiced my opinion. It got overruled. I'm having a big shower in August

gograce

@J1D honestly, I'm not into second baby showers unless they're far apart. The only second baby showers I've been invited to/heard of, the siblings were between ten and fourteen years apart.
If your friends want to have a party for a second baby, that's cool though. If it were me, I'd be more comfortable with a cookout or crawfish boil and have a get together with a baby theme. If you're into the crafty stuff, provide white onesies and burp clothes and bibs and let guests decorate them.
People are going to buy gifts for new babies. That's just the way it is, friends and family members can't help but be excited. Baby will get new things, but (to me at least) the idea of a shower is to shower the mother-to-be in all the essentials she's going to need.
I probably wouldn't turn down an invite to a second baby shower if they were less than the "eight years" apart because I love buying cute little baby things. On that same note, I wouldn't accept one if my sister or best friend offered to throw a baby shower for my second.

texasmomma84

We didn't have a full blown out shower for our second. We had, what my sister called, a "sprinkle." (My sister really wanted to do this for us and it was fun to celebrate the new baby coming!) We did not register for anything. It was all family. Things we did get were mostly diapers and other necessities we were missing (our boys were nearly 4 years apart). It was a lot of fun to celebrate with family.

sarapagan

I have already declined, as my friends have offered. I have a 3.5 year old little boy. They have insisted that they want to throw me a "sprinkle" if the baby is a girl. I haven't heard of this term, but they explained it to me as something the recipient doesn't register for and people basically just buy clothes and small things catered to the opposite sex of the child you already have. So basically not as large scaled as a full on baby shower...a sprinkle! LOL

J1D

@gograce That's cool I've had friends accept the second baby shower offer and friends turn it down. In my opinion it really comes down to personal preference. I personally will go to as many parties as I'm invited to cause I also love buying baby stuff and celebrating babies

jenspeake

My stance is if you have to question if anything is ok or acceptable....then don't do it.  BUT....who also pays attention to the whole don't wear white after labor day anymore??  (And some people say who wears white?)

I threw my sister a surprise sprinkle for her second so she didn't have a choice.  But I kept it to just our small social circle of girlfriends and treated it more like a last hurrah before she has two kids and not able to join us as much for girls nights.  We drank wine (except for her) and ordered in Italian.  And played all of those shower games that are inappropriate to play in front of your grandma.  And didn't say anything about gifts but some people brought them anyway....who can resist buying a baby outfit when you get the chance!

vamomtobe

I was already approached at work about a second shower, and declined...but I may be ignored.  In my case, one of my coworkers had a second son a year ago, and we did not throw him and his wife a second shower. So it seemed kind of rude to me that they would throw one for me.  Kind of awkward, right?  It could be totally appropriate in certain circumstances, though.  It depends!

amberrmariee20

I'm from a very small town and 2nd baby showers are very common, and so it 3rd and 4th baby showers, we also have a lot of benefit dances for sick children, premature children, people who have passed ! It's just things we do around our area to help each other out (; ! My mother and bfs mother are throwing us a baby shower ! It's my bfs first baby ! I already have. 3 almost 4 year old son !

nsaid4u

This is baby #4 for us. I was only given a shower for my first child. Although we usually have a big supper in our home about 3 weeks after baby is born for friends n family to all come meet baby, and ppl often bring gifts (but its not a shower).