Should I miss my own baby shower?

v&druston

My husband's grandfather was placed in hospice 2 days ago. They said he will likely only live another 5 days. His family lives about 9 hours away (pre-pregnancy, without all the bathroom stops). But I'm supposed to be flying to my baby shower next Thursday evening. What do I do if the funeral is next weekend too? I Feel like I need to be there for my DH & his family, but feel bad for missing the shower my friends have been planning, not to mention the waste of the plane ticket.

And my doctor has already said that next weekend is the last weekend he wants me traveling, so I can't reschedule the shower.

asherk

Sorry to hear about your husband's grandfather. We were in that situation around Christmas, and I know the waiting game sucks. Just be aware that it could be more than 5 days...DH's grandfather held on for a full month after they told us to come and say our goodbyes...but former Navy SEALs are stubborn, I suppose. You may wind up not having a conflict at all.

I think you and DH should have a chat about this. Will he need/want you there for emotional support? Or will he be okay with you going to enjoy your shower? A 9+ hour trip is a bit much for a pregnant lady, so I think his family would be understanding if you didn't attend. If you are not going to physically be at your shower, you need to cancel it. Given the circumstances, people will probably understand, but be a little disappointed (which I'm sure you would be, too!). You will also probably be able to get at least a voucher as reimbursement for your plane ticket (if they won't refund it), so that wouldn't be a total loss either.

If it were me personally, I would go to the shower, but make sure that I did a little tribute to DH's grandfather somewhere in there.

jessicayounghouse

That's a tough one. For me, I'd check with Hubby first. If he wants me with him, I'm with him, no questions asked. I might not even go so far as to ask. I'd just do that and cancel the shower. While it's unfortunate to have to miss the shower altogether, your friends will undoubtedly understand. Family comes first here though. Good luck and prayers for you and your husbands family!

kmode13

jessicayounghouse said:

That's a tough one. For me, I'd check with Hubby first. If he wants me with him, I'm with him, no questions asked. I might not even go so far as to ask. I'd just do that and cancel the shower. While it's unfortunate to have to miss the shower altogether, your friends will undoubtedly understand. Family comes first here though. Good luck and prayers for you and your husbands family!

I agree with @jessicayounghouse.  If your DH wants you to go with the Shower, then you have been open either way and made sure you are making the decision together.  If he would prefer you are at the funeral, though it would be a bit disappointing, everyone will completely understand/honor the family commitment.  

I am sorry to hear about your husband's grandfather health and T&P over the next few weeks for your family!

LittleOrangeBaby

I would go with my husband to the funeral.

v&druston

Thanks, ladies. My husband's grandfather passed away yesterday. He is being cremated so they are nor in a rush to have a ceremony. It will likely be in a couple of weeks. Now I just have to see if my Dr will still let me travel after my baby shower. I appreciate your kind words.

jespernoir

Condolences. 

v&druston

Thank you. So now they have changed it again to next Saturday. I think my mil just wanted her son home for mother's day & to be able to constantly being up that I missed the funeral. But that is a whole other topic.