September 2015 Moms
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Sex Reveal

eah325eah325 member
edited April 2015 in September 2015 Moms
I just read a lengthy post on a mom's disappointment on the sex of her child. There were people who posted about how they couldn't understand it and others called them out for being negative on her post. There was a suggestion of starting a new post so as not to "attack" her post... That is what I'm doing. This is in no way meant to diminish the feelings of that poster or anyone else who has felt disappointed by the sex of their baby. I'm just expressing my own feelings on this.

A little about me... I'm 32 years old. In high school, I was diagnosed with severe endometriosis. I had three surgeries within the span of four weeks to deal with it. I missed a semester of my junior year, prom and many other activities to fight the pain and growing cysts and fibroids ravaging my body. The summer before my senior year, I went in for surgery #4. When I woke up from that surgery, my parents stood by my bedside and my father tearfully told me they had to remove my right ovary and Fallopian tube because things were far worse than they expected. I've had 11 more surgeries since.

I endured all of the pain and agony of keeping my reproductive system in tact in the hopes that some day I "might" be able to have a child. But I spent 15 years knowing the chances of it happening would be slight and accepting that might be the case.

I was reluctant to date or become serious with anyone for half of my twenties for fear I would fail them by not being able to produce a child.

I was so incredibly fortunate to have met an incredible man who loves me regardless of what happens.

When my husband and I conceived, the miracle was overwhelming to comprehend. My parents were shocked into silence because they also didn't believe it was possible.

And I spend every single day worried that I will lose this baby because of my health problems.

So all of that being said... No, I really don't understand how anyone can feel upset about the sex of her healthy baby. To me, having a healthy baby is the best and most important dream one can have. But I understand that maybe you can't understand the fear and worry that I've experienced. And I haven't experienced the loss of a child, so I cannot relate to that. We've all walked different paths in life to get to the place where we stand today.

But I posted this long post to share a different perspective to those who have grown disappointed over the sex of their baby. I want you to know what it's like to not know if you'll ever have one and then to spend every day worrying about making it another day because you're high risk.

None of this meant to shame you for your feelings... They're your feelings. But I hope you'll consider mine and the many women like me.

Re: Sex Reveal

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    You are a very strong woman & I commend you. I can not imagine how being told your chances are very slim to none of having a baby would feel like. That would break any woman's heart & leave them devastated. So I congratulate you on your pregnancy it must be the best feeling for you & your partner.

    Ok so let me just talk you through what I put on that specific thread about the lady devastated by the sex of her child. In no way shape or form was I attacking OP I was giving my honest opinion on it. I do understand the felling of being sad but not to the point of being devastated. I know after she wrote the original post she then commented saying that maybe being disappointed was a too strong a word to use. Great she said that. I feel no one was being mean or negative they were just giving a response to her post. Now if someone doesn't want to hear difference of opinions then the easy answer to that is don't post. Just like when people say if you don't like the post don't look or comment. Not one person has the same views on a specific topic & I'm tired of people saying your mean, stop being negative to people who do not agree with what the majority say. The OP has a right to express her feelings I get that but at the same time prepare yourself for all kinds of responses. Not everyone sugar coats they will say it how they feel it..
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    eah325eah325 member
    edited April 2015
    @Sweetpea192 thank you for your kind words.

    I didn't take anything that you or the other posters said as negative or wrong. I could very much relate to how you were feeling. I just decided to start a new post instead of adding my thoughts to that one.

    I agree that there is something wrong when someone shares a different opinion and is automatically deemed to be negative etc.

    My point is that we all have had to different journeys to motherhood, and while I cannot fathom the concept of being disappointed by the sex of my baby, that's her right to feel that way. But you and I and many others have a valid right to feel the way we do as well.

    I have my anatomy scan next week and while we will find out the sex, it will be seeing that the baby is healthy and ok that will matter most to me.
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    Sweetpea192Sweetpea192 member
    edited April 2015
    I hear what your saying. I couldn't agree more that each of us have taken a different journey to motherhood I'm respectful of that. But when I see a post that I'm not so happy about & that anyone else is also not so happy about they should be able to comment how they wish as long as they are not violating TOU, which no one did on that post. Just seems if you have a difference of opinion then you are branded as "mean" or "negative" it's seems ok for those that are calling these people mean or negative to say those comments but it's not ok for those that get branded to answer honestly & open without being penalised.

    P.s hope all goes well with your anatomy scan. I had mine on Wednesday & it was lovely to see my little buttercup again & to know she is doing very well :)
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    This post made me cry!!! I'm so sorry you have had to go through all of this but congratulations on finally conceiving. Good luck!!! I will pray for you and your beautiful little miracle.
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    @Brittanyy110313 thank you for your thoughtful posts and kind words. I appreciate it greatly!
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