2nd baby, no shower, feeling semi-sad — The Bump
June 2015 Moms

2nd baby, no shower, feeling semi-sad

Ok, so I am totally blessed.. I have a great 20 month-old boy and due with another boy in a few weeks.. We moved to a new state just about a year ago so I have a few "new" friends (here) but just feeling like this LO is getting the shaft bc there's no shower for him... Haven't complained about this to anyone finally "sharing" out loud to you all.. Anyone else not having one of these cool Sprinkle showers? I'm almost 35 weeks so I'm sure there's no chance of a "surprise". I mean, I really do have a lot of the things this little guy will need and we were overly spoiled with our 1st bc we waited so long to have a kid, but there are a few things that would be great to have new. Part of me feels like a brat, for sure, but I'm preggo and overtired.. Just want the same love for #2... I will give him that love (don't get me wrong!!) just feeling a teeny bit sad bc big Bro had three showers (friends, work, and larger family/friends!) and this boy isn't having one.... sigh....

Re: 2nd baby, no shower, feeling semi-sad

  • I'm currently pregnant with my 6th, and I just had my first baby shower a few weeks ago. I feel like my other kiddos got the shaft because they did not have showers or anything of the sort. Not that they know, but I do!

    Hang in there, maybe you will get a surprise one :)
  • You're sweet. Thank you for that perspective!! I already feel guilty for writing about this…
  • Have a meet and greet after he is born with your new friends and family. I'm sure because it is your second child and they are close in age people didn't think about needing a shower. However I am positive you will still receive tons of gifts once he is born.
  • I feel the exact same way as you, you're not being bratty at all! I think everybody has a different opinion on this, whether a shower for a second baby is appropriate, whether you should plan a shower for yourself, whether it's for the baby or the mom. I am due with my second daughter and wasn't gonna have a shower. I was ok with it, cause we have everything we need, but I definitely started feeling bummed about it. I want the second baby to have the same celebration with friends and family. But there was no way I was gonna plan a baby shower for myself. So I planned to host a Sip N See 3-4 weeks after baby is born. I'm still probably gonna do that, but my friend actually just told me that she wants to host a tiny baby shower for just our small circle of friends through our workplace...it'll be small, about 10 people, but that made me feel way better. It's about the acknowledgment of making another human! I also know of several friends that have planned showers for themselves to celebrate second babies. I just wanted to validate your feelings and tell you to go for whatever you want! 
  • In my circle showers are for FTMs doesn't matter if it's a different sex, big age gap, or twins.  So yeah, baby shower part in baby book was left blank for my second and now third.  Not a big deal!
  • This is my second one 5 years apart and different gender never considered a second baby shower. However, I did have random people I would have never expected give me gifts like my daughters prek teacher and recieved 5 big boxes of diapers which I'm so greatful for I feel blessed enough and feel my son is a big enough gift to me. I am far from my family so when I get a chance with my lo to go 1300 miles away from home I want to have a meet and greet so my family and close friends can meet him but ask for no gifts just their presence is enough. But it's nothing to get all worked up about j/s.
  • I know someone throwing her own "sprinkle" for her fourth child (third boy)...

  • I would never ever expect a shower for a second child especially so close in age! My mom did throw a joint surprise sprinkle for me and my sister (due 2 days apart) and it was absolutely lovely and a total blessing but a complete an unexpected surprise! It is also not uncommon in my family/ area to have these parties...I in no way expected one but I was really grateful for everyone's love and excitement over our babies (i think my mom was also super excited we are both having babies so close together)
  • I agree that having a baby so close to your last and the sex being the same is probably the reason you aren't having a shower. You should be pretty prepared and people probably assume you don't need one. I do get that bummed feeling though. Like baby #2 isn't as exciting to other people. I'm having a boy 5 years after DD and I no one seems interested. I'm ecstatic! I'm sure it's selfish to feel that way but I can relate to that part.

  • I'm a believer in no shower for the 2nd+ baby and also think it's more for the mom than the baby. However, I hear where you are coming from. It took me a long time to get pregnant as well and then I had a miscarriage. So, when my miracle dd was born, people were crazy excited, generous, etc. This pregnancy is totally anticlimactic, until baby is born of course. Even I treat this time as more of a regular occurrence. I'm sure it's the same for most 2nd+ children.

    The good news for them is that they get away with more bc the 1st one beat us down. I'm a 3rd child. There are barely any baby pictures of me and my mom doesn't remember things when I ask, but I had a pretty easy adolescence since my sisters paved the way. There are pros and cons for the order you were born.
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    Franco Paul born 6/4/15 at 39 weeks.  Mila Francesca born 10/19/13 at 37 weeks.  Both born via C-Section after 6 years of fertility treatments, disappointments and losses. Love them!!

  • Great idea @gilder40 didn't even think of that!
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  • People probably just assume not to throw you one. My sister in law just had her second girl and the older is almost 3. We didn't even think about doing one for her. So that's probably why no one has im assuming. I like the sip and see idea then you can fill the book up with that! Props to you for filling out a 2nd baby book I keep forgetting to fill mine in and I'm having my first lol
  • I totally felt the same way! I never expected a baby shower for this second baby, but a part of me just wanted to party and celebrate and be with my family to share the joy of this new little boy! I'm a little over it now, not the joy and the celebrating but the need to have other people party with me lol, but I still want to buy all the cute newborn stuff. DH thinks I'm silly, but I really think there's something nice about knowing this little guy will have a few new things his big brother didn't, you know? He's his own person and I want him to know that when he looks back at his first years.

    I think emotions are normal and wanting to celebrate a new life is the best reaction a mother can have!
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