Hey Ladies, it's been a while! — The Bump
Adoption

Hey Ladies, it's been a while!

I haven't posted on this board in quite some time, but skimming through some recent posts, I see some familiar faces. I'm not sure how many people are on here who have adopted, but I wanted to get some of your points of view on a situation.
A quick recap for people who haven't seen me on here yet or may have forgotten, I had a very quick adoption being contacted by BM when she was already 8 months pregnant and didn't actually meet her until the hospital.  Six months later, I got the surprise of a lifetime..I was pregnant.  DS came a few weeks early so I have two toddlers, only 14 months apart...

DD's BM was 36, divorced and single at the time, very mature, established, hard-working.  DD was her fourth kid but her oldest two were out of the house and she was not financially prepared for a new baby.  Given her age and situation, I never imagined I'd have to think about her having another baby.

For the first year and a half, we had some e-mails back and forth but I haven't heard from her now in over a year.  I am not friends with her on FB but am able to see her profile picture. I check periodically and noticed a "family photo shoot" with her youngest kid and a new baby.  Someone commented that her kids were beautiful.  She liked the post and didn't "correct" anyone saying something like "thanks, but that's my daughter and my nephew" leading me to believe this is probably her child.

I am assuming she is remarried or in a committed relationship..I just don't think she would have had another child in any other circumstance.  I worry that when DD gets older, she's going to be confused as to why BM had 3 kids she kept, then DD and gave her up for adoption, then another child and kept him.  I am not judging BM but am very curious the circumstances since I do think DD will question it some day.  After some advice from friends, I awkwardly e-mailed her asking about it and she hasn't responded.  I don't think she's going to at this point and I know I have to give her space and respect it.

I'm just curious if anyone else has anything like that..dreading telling DS/DD some day because of how it might affect them....would you just let it be or reach out again at some point?
Thanks!
Married Since 09/2006, TTC Since 09/2010 
DX: Unexplained infertility, DH normal 
3 Femara cycles - Oct, Nov, Dec 2011, all BFNs 
IVF #1, ER 2/15 (5R, 4M, 4F), ET 2/18, Beta 2/29 = BFN :( 
Follistim + IUI on 6/25 = BFN 
Home Study Finalized 8/14/12! Profile Active - 8/17/12! 
Officially Matched 8/29/12, Our perfect angel born 9/25/12! 
Biggest surprise ever, unexpected BFP on 4/12/13! 

 Our Angel through Adoption
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