Needy Baby ♡ — The Bump
March 2015 Moms

Needy Baby ♡

My son is 3 weeks old and wants to be held all the time. I'm not a supporter of the "cry it out" method so I simply hold and snuggle and comfort him all day; I understand he's still very young and that it is normal for them to want mama and constant closeness. However, I'm not getting any rest during the day and feel over stimulated and frustrated that he can never be put down. He tolerates the swing or bouncy seat for less than 15 minutes, and doesn't seem to care for it for that small bit of time anyway. He seems to like the Moby wrap but I dont feel comfortable sleeping with it on. My caregiver cannot maintain this constant holding when I return to work due to balancing caring for other children as well, and I really need rest and just a few moments here and there where I have my body to myself. Do any of you have advice for helping babies be more comfortable in swing/bouncy and not need constant holding/bouncing/rocking? Again, I know he's very young and that it's normal for them to want closeness and their mama. I'm trying to find a way to balance that with feeling sane and being able to get some sort of rest. Thanks for the support and advice! :)

Re: Needy Baby ♡

  • My first was like this. I wore her all the time in a front carrier so at least I could get some things done. I found "Happiest Baby on the Block" really helpful in explaining why baby is like this. Essentially baby went from being held when in the belly 24/7 to far less holding so they want that constant holding like they had in the belly. It does pass so don't worry too much about when you go back to work. In the mean time try swaddling and white noise to get baby to stay in the swing or bouncy seat for a bit longer. Babies this age are too young for "cry it out" or other sleep training.
  • I'm not much help. My older one was like that. My little one now is too.
    I can only tell you it will pass, I promise !
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  • My daughter is 5 weeks and is the same. It's hard to go to the bathroom, or eat, or anything. Do you have a stroller or carriage? I recently started putting her in the carriage in the house and wheeling her around. It seems to relax her. Sometimes she'll fall asleep, other times she just chills and looks around.
  • While there is a lot of evidence saying that crying it out at this age has no affect on sleep habits, there is also very little reason to not just take a break as long as baby is fed, clean, and you're not in any way neglecting the need for comfort. Yesterday night my LO was so exhausted but would only sleep if I walked her (or rather did a series of rocking dance-like moves that would count as high impact aerobic exercise by some people!) in the Moby wrap. While this is fine during the day, around two hours into the night trying to keep active was just wearing me out and making me as cranky as she was! And she was certainly not hungry or soiled or in pain; she was simply tired but refused to sleep. I finally just had to take a break and since I knew there was really no other way than to swaddle her, turn on the white noise machine, and just listen to her crying, that is what I did. A few minutes later, right when I was about to return to her to pick her up and try again, she stopped crying and slept for five hours straight. So, while this is not my recommended method of doing things and I certainly am not a proponent of sleep training at such a young age, sometimes you need a break, too. And babies cry and that's normal, albeit heart-wrenching. As long as you are providing everything for your LO and not neglecting their needs, there should be no reason to not put the baby down for a few minutes if you need to just take a moment. Good luck and hope this phase passes quickly for you!
  • My baby is 5 weeks old and he recently started doing the same thing. Last night, I had my husband build his swing and I swaddled him and put him in it and he slept for 3 hours. When he woke up, I fed him and changed him and he went back to sleep. I swaddled him again and put him back in the swing and he slept there for about 4 hours. I'm going to try again tonight so my husband and I can actually sleep in our bed at the same time!
  • My 5 week old is the same. I have to hold him all the time. It get frustrating at times. I have a 5 yo and a 14 yo so it's hard having to hold him while taking care of them or the normal household chores. Hope it passes soon, I'm tired!
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