October 2015 Moms
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one and done?

Ftm here and I'm very set on being one and done. I only want one child for many reasons but i keep getting comments from people about how i shouldn't say that and how i really want a big family. It may just be the hormones but its really making me mad. For how few people actually even know im pregnant I've been hearing this crap too much. Its making me not want to tell anyone else.
Anyone else getting this?
Anyone else planning on being one and done?

Re: one and done?

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    I feel the same way. I am an only child and really enjoyed the dynamic growing up of just me and my parents.

    I have told people my plans, but I haven't (yet!) gotten any rude or inappropriate "oh, you say that now!" comments.
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    My sister is a "one and done" mom and she just tells everyone that their Olivia is all they could ever hope for. Why mess with success?
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    Im one of 3 girls including a twin sister, thats a big factor for me. I wish people would just keep their opinions to themselves.
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    :) if i have a girl her name will be Olivia! Hopefully i will be saying the exact same thing.
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    How many kids you have is your and your partners business!!! Only people involved in creating and raising them should get an opinion. haha. My mom was a one and done, dead set against having anymore after my brother. She had tons of people telling her how horrible, kids need siblings. blah blah and she said the only opinion she gave any thought too was one from a couple who had had only one child and she died as a teenager and they regretted not having others at that point.
    My mom ended up having five of us, I wasn't planned and I guess after two why bother stopping. haha.
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    I too plan on having one and only one. When I share this with others I receive mixed comments. Close friends are supportive it seems those that I am aquintited with have stronger opinions. I let them go on their theories and let it go. After all only you know what you're equipped for.
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    I've gotten sort of a similar comment.  I was talking about how IF we have another child (I'm a FTM) it won't be until this one is in school at least.  My friend was like "oh you're going to wait that long?"  She doesn't even have kids.  A few of my friends who haven't gotten pregnant yet and they are all of the mindset of wanting to pop the kids out one right after the other.  To each his own, I totally respect if that's what you want to do but I don't!  I also can't see how people can afford to in the city we live in (NYC).  I have a two bedroom apt, likely won't be moving for years to a larger space so how could I fit two little kids into a 2 bedroom apt?  Crazy I tell ya!  

    The worst thing is everyone thinks they can just say whatever to you.  SMDH.
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    Yay twins! I would have been happy with twins but i knew the chances were slim since im a twin and they tend to skip generations in my family.
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    Gosh people should really mind their own beeswax! If you want do be one and done, thats completely up to you!
    Me and DH want at least two, but I cant imagine me making a comment like that to another mom. Who cares?! You just do you, and be happy with whatever amount of kids you end up having :) 
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    I've gotten sort of a similar comment.  I was talking about how IF we have another child (I'm a FTM) it won't be until this one is in school at least.  My friend was like "oh you're going to wait that long?"  She doesn't even have kids.  A few of my friends who haven't gotten pregnant yet and they are all of the mindset of wanting to pop the kids out one right after the other.  To each his own, I totally respect if that's what you want to do but I don't!  I also can't see how people can afford to in the city we live in (NYC).  I have a two bedroom apt, likely won't be moving for years to a larger space so how could I fit two little kids into a 2 bedroom apt?  Crazy I tell ya!  


    The worst thing is everyone thinks they can just say whatever to you.  SMDH.
    Exactly!!! It makes me not want to even tell anymore people. I'm afraid for when I'm showing and people start feeling the right to touch me or give me unsolicited advice on how to raise my kid.
    Im already crazy for wanting only one and for using a midwife and going natural ... Who knows what else im doing "wrong" ;)
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    I am an only child and I feel like I missed out. Everyone has a sibling to go to and talk things out with at home. I just had to deal with things on my own. My parents fought A LOT growing up so it made things worse as an only child.
    I'm not looking for sympathy or a pity party, but I don't think some realize what only child kids go through. And you may be thinking oh cousins are like siblings.. No. They aren't.
    At the end of the day most people have that sibling that understands home life because they live it with you. You have a person that knows everything about you, that has your back no matter what. Friends come and go but your siblings and family are forever.
    I'm not trying to be rude or tell anyone their choice is wrong, just giving insight to my only child world.
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    We were totally one and done parents... And then... Oops. So we'll be two and done!? Just ignore people. People are obnoxious.
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    I'm same as @nsaid4u We want 4 :-) but we receive rude comments about how we want 4 as well. Like we're crazy and wont want anymore. We're preg with #2 and #1 just turned 1. I know we'll get comments on having them close as well. Whatever, it's not their life. I had sibling but they were 7, 9, and 10 years older than me and I would have liked to have siblings closer in age. But it comes down to what is right for you and your family!! Nothing wrong with having 1, nothing wrong with having 7!!
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    I think big families are good for some people but i want one and thats it. i do get sick of people contradicting me about it!
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    I used to be one of the "one and done crew"  but I love my sisters so much I had a change of heart.  Especially when I started asking my little lady hey do you want a brother or sister someday ? and she said yes.  & now she's so excited it's so sweet to see!  everyone knows what works for them so to hell with what people say or think.  it's your body your family . :D
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    jem89jem89 member
    I think you know yourself. It's totally up to you and your significant other. I am having baby #3 and I get the opposite negative comments because this is 3 in 3 years. I get "aren't your girls enough?" Or "are you THAT stuck on having a boy?" It is really hard to have kids back to back but it works for our lifestyle right now so that's why and I hate having to explain myself or tell people that I am happy with having all girls, if that is how it happens. Anyway, people will be rude either way and they always have an opinion. You just do what feels right for your family!
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    I've been dealing with crappy morning sickness this whole pregnancy, and at 14 weeks, there's no end in sight! So yes, one and done is looking like a pretty good deal at the moment!!!
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    I am planning on having more babies (I would love four) but husband says 2 - i think we will land at 3 if the first two are the same sex. Anyways I get people telling me all the time that I dont really want that many and it does make you mad. If you want 1 then that is perfectly fine people need to stop taking thier views and putting it on other people, no matter the subject there is nothing worse them someone telling you they know you better then you know yourself!
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    Rikki_5Rikki_5 member
    edited April 2015
    I'd like to give my little one a brother or sister because I am an only child and always wanted a bro or sis.  However, I'm 37 and not sure I want to have another this late in life so I'll probably be one and done. I don't want to be pregnant for 2 years straight and not too keen about having one in my 40s.  :) 
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    nsaid4u said:

    different strokes for different folks I guess. It's everyone's personal choice how many babies they want to have, no choice is right or wrong. I guess I'm the opposite of one and done :-) I am pregnant with baby #4 now and we don't think it will be the last :-) love our big family :-)

    I was going to be a one and done, but met a new partner and he had none so this is baby #2 and he wants another one after this one !
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    @amberrmariee20 ha same thing here! I said no more after my son but my hubby n I were like o well I guess why not lolzz!! N ditto on the more!





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    @amberrmariee20 ha same thing here! I said no more after my son but my hubby n I were like o well I guess why not lolzz!! N ditto on the more!

    At first I was all just one and one only and then they kinda grow on you ! My sister always said she would never have any and she's 33 and none yet ! And my other sister is 32 and is on her 4th ! I guess it depends on the person and their situation (: ! How many do you have now @gabrielafrnqyepez
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    I have a 7 yr old boy my hubby has a 7 yr old girl lolzz and now were preggo! Its funny because after my son I had said no more only if I find a person you know THE person and it happened when hubby n I first met our mb 2nd convo was how many kids wed wanna have w each other cuz we knew we had found THE person!!

    And you @amberrmariee20 ?





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    I have one from a previous relationship ! And my bf is almost 29 with no kids at all, so we planned this one (: ! And we plan to have at least one more afterwards, it's crazy what you'll do for the one you love ! @gabrielafrnqyepez
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    If I based our decision on my our family upbringing, I would be a one and done type of person. I have a sister (8 years older) and I know more about and get along better with the cashier at the grocery store. Hubs has a wonderful relationship with his sister and we hope that our kids can find a middle ground between our extremes. We are definitely done after this baby (#2 for us, 3 with our niece.)
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    I've always wanted two kids, but this pregnancy has been rough so far. I finally got my energy back and finally stopped being nauseous all the time, and I got diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. I told my husband I think I only want one child. There is pressure to have more than one kiddo from some friends and family but I was like my family, my life.
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    I have people trying to tell me I'm going to want another baby after this one (#2) and I'm like nope, we're done and besides with our angel this technically IS #3. My husband is the oldest of 4 and I'm the oldest of 3 but I've never really wanted more than 2.

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    lab85lab85 member
    @rue:D we said the same thing and then found it we were having twins!
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    MamaOwl15 said:

    I have people trying to tell me I'm going to want another baby after this one (#2) and I'm like nope, we're done and besides with our angel this technically IS #3. My husband is the oldest of 4 and I'm the oldest of 3 but I've never really wanted more than 2.

    I had people try and convince me I was having more then 1 and I always said no ! Then I met my one and only and he had none ! So this is now baby #2 and we plan on #3 too (: !
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    For a long time I only wanted 1 child, I felt like we needed one more after my son started to get older. I can't imagine being an only child so I didn't want him to.

    Everyone is different. You do what's best for you and your family.
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    I only want one and I keep getting the same thing. Just because these people have multiple kids doesn't mean they should judge the decisions my husband and I make. It's very irritating. To each his own I guess.
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