Has anyone had to break to ex husband.... — The Bump
August 2015 Moms

Has anyone had to break to ex husband....

your pregnant with another child? I have been divorced for 2 and a half years and remained single but then I met someone and got pregnant. Is there anyone out there that has been in my situation. This is such a stressful time but need to stay calm for the baby's sake. Please God let this storm

Re: Has anyone had to break to ex husband....

  • I wasn't married but I'm a single mom and I had to tell my sons father I was pregnant. He never even responded to me and hasn't said a word about it to me when I've gone to get my son back on his weekends. I was worried as well but there was nothing to be worried about. It's really none of his business and he has no right to say anything to you.
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  • You really don't have to tell him. It's ok if you do. He might respond, might not, not care or be neutral. Your personal life have nothing to do with each other. So I don't see why is there to be nervous about.
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  • Thanks ladies you have a very valid point.
  • My husband is divorced. His ex wife got married/pregnant before we did (but we were together at the time of both events). We got pregnant about 8 weeks after his ex did (it was kind of a happy oopsie). We are very much a blended family so we are very open. But I recongize not everyone is like that. For us it wasn't awkward or weird it would have been more weird if we didn't share the news.
  • I havnt yet.. don't know if I will, I'm sure he suspects it but I just have more things on my mind.
  • Do you have kids with your ex?? I think you should tell him either way, but if you have kids together you should definetly tell him.
  • My ex and I had been divorced for 3yrs before my husband and I got pregnant with our DD.  I did not tell my ex, and once he found out, he made a point to tell my boys (both his) that I was going to forget them and treat my daughter so much better.  I made it my point to NOT do that, and they quickly learned their dad was full of shit. Now that I am pregnant again, he's pulling the same crap, but the boys are ignoring him because they know it's just not true.  He's just jealous because he can't have any more kids as his wife now didn't want kids at all.

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  • My ex, as crazy as he is, simply said congratulations, that is wonderful for you guys.  However he has remarried too and has added to his family too.  I think that helped soften the blow for him.
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  • I didn't "break the news" to my ex husband, but I honestly don't see how my pregnancy in this marriage is any of his business anyway. He and I have a child together, the rest is history. I feel like if there is a situation that could negatively impact our daughter we need to communicate about it, but I certainly do NOT feel like a new baby falls under that category whatsoever. But, that's my opinion so ultimately just do what YOU feel is right for you.
  • I have 2 boys with my ex husband one is adopted and one was though IVF so when he finds out this news he is not only going to be shocked but prolly angry. I'm just hoping he is mature about it and know that no matter what we have kids that still need both parents. He just need to focus on his kids and let me worry about the baby. Thanks ladies for ur input it's really appreciated.
  • So my hubby has a daughter with an ex who he was never married too and she thought they would get married when they accidentally got pregnant. Early on it was hard saying hey we are engaged and hey we are going on our honeymoon at this time can you keep her on our days and can we see her the day we return as it was going to be the longest we have gone without seeing her (we have 50/50 custody). Anyways all of these major life changes like telling her I was pregnant as well were a little awkward but ultimately we told her immediately each time bc these things effect her daughter which gives her a right to know. If it werent for the fact that we all share a child obviously she would never get these privelages, but in my opinion it is her business when she is gaining a family member; she gained me through marriage and a little sister through my pregnancy. She should completely be knowledgeable on these things in her life simply bc it does change things for her daughter even if it is completely positive. Just my opinion coming from my situation..
  • My ex knows because the kids i had with him are super excited and told him. I didn't think it was his business so I wasn't going to say anything but it wasn't a secret either.
  • My husband has two children my two other women(never been married before me) one was a highschool unplanned pregnancy and the next one was unplanned as well, since my husband and I have been together his sons mom has been married twice, and had two children. His daughters mom is engaged to be married and had another child as well. My husband and I have been married for two years and were trying to have what will be my first child. After finally getting pregnant the daughters mom was angry and said we needed to pay more child support if we think we can have another child we need to pay more for her daughter. And as for his son we will now have to go to court because we haven't been able to tell him ourselves yet that we are pregnant (20 weeks) and we still have all his Christmas presents and are unable to see him. In our case the mothers took it extremely unwell.
  • jadetree1080jadetree1080 member
    edited April 2015
    @eknapp02 wow, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not dogging single moms cuz that would be a really rough place to be and I can appreciate all the sacrifices they make for the child, and there are some dumb ass guys out there that never man up to be a father, but gawd. These broads your dealing with sound like they are playing the victim card, "poor me, I only get $1k in child support a month that is never late, and the father demands to be involved with regular visitation every month, and keeps taking me to court to force me to let him see his child. What an ass!" sorry, maybe that got a little personal... I have been dealing with that sh!t for a few year's now too. Everyone always tells me it will get better as the kids get older, but I find it comes more in waves, gets better, then worse, and better again. All you can control are your own actions. Love the kids and hope these women one day grow up.
  • @jadetree1080 they are both GREAT mothers! I can't deny that at all. My husband is also a great father. He isn't ordered to pay half of sports or clothes or anything of that sort but we ALWAYS give money out of pocket as well. We also sent each mother 1,000 dollars extra last Christmas because my husband was in Afghanistan. We still had a Christmas with me but we wanted to make sure they were able to have a great Christmas both places. I used to get along with both of them actually really well. They never even used to communicate with my husband.... His daughters mom and I used to do her birthdays together. And we would pay half and I was invited but he was not... So we always did something at our house as well, but I have even babysat his daughters moms other child by another guy... Multiple times. I try to do what I can to make it easier. But she tried to tell my husband I didn't even know if the baby was his. Which is ABSURD!!!! and he knows that also. It's not even a questionable matter. But I had to block her. I just can't deal with things like that right now.
  • Again wow. I envy how functional your relationship with them was, and I'm sorry your baby news changed that. People are crazy. Hopefully in a few months they have wrapped their heads around the situation and things go back to normal for you.
  • We had to break out to my step daughters mother. She's a bit of a train wreck as it is and is currently working thru a rehab program for drug abuse, so it was frightening, but she was surprisingly gracious as her daughter was so excited to be a big sister.
  • My exhusband confronted me about it a couple of months ago. To make it even more awkward, his new wife is due 2 weeks before me.
  • I told the kids quite early on ... My youngest got into the car when their dad picked them up and first words where "mummy's got something in her tummy and it's the sized of a pea" lol I wudnt have told them if I wanted it kept secret. I didn't mind him knowing but since we are divorced and I've remarried didn't feel I owed him anything. I knew he wud find out!
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