Best Friend getting married right after due date. — The Bump
August 2015 Moms

Best Friend getting married right after due date.

So my best friend gets engaged yesterday and already decided to get married September 12. My Due Date is August 30th. Normally that wouldn't scare me except that she lives/is getting married in Eugene,OR. I live in Albuquerque,NM. Her date is non negotiable because of school/traveling plans for them.
Is it dumb for me to even tell her that I am gonna try? Or realistically should I tell her I won't be there?
I'm so torn. If it was ANYONE else I wouldn't even think about being a superhero, but this is my best friend of all time. I'm feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

Re: Best Friend getting married right after due date.

  • :( I'm sorry. That can be hard. I don't have much advice, I just wanted to tell you that I live in Albuquerque also :)
    keelybutler
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  • I can see both ways, you'd try to go for a really good friend. But if she was also a good friend, she'd understand how hard it is to make it after possibly giving birth and trying to travel with a newborn. Maybe you can do the bridal shower, bachorlette party, but tentative to the wedding?
    DS1 - 8-10-2015 LO2 - EDD 4-30-2017
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    Gooblinkeelybutlerjenandbrett
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  • That's very tough. I think it would be hard to leave a newborn, and I definitely wouldn't travel with one. However, it is possible. I'd wait till closer to time to make firm plans. So sorry! That would break my heart to be in your situation!
    keelybutler
  • My due date was 8-8-08 with my second son and my little sister insisted that be her wedding date even though I was 17weeks when they decided. I hady son 8-12-08 but did not attend her wedding I was soo miserable and crampy and FAT. I feel for you though:( I would say I would try but in reality depending on when baby comes you probably won't be up to it. :/ I felt amazing after my first but got moving to fast afterwards and ended up on bed rest for 3 weeks. And I wouldn't recommend traveling with a newborn... Germ filled airplanes and airports make my skin crawl. Everyone is different but there is a lot that happens after you give birth and some recoveries are great and some not so much. Take care of you and baby first!
    mrsannieMiz_Lizcarleym93keelybutler
  • My best friend is getting married shortly after my due date and asked me to be in the wedding. I said yes but then really started stressing about it. She sat me down a few weeks later and asked if I was really sure I wanted to do it. I took the out when given to me and feel much more relaxed about it now. I'll be attending the wedding but my mom will be staying in the attached hotel room with my older lo and I'll bring the baby back and forth as needed. I don't have to travel far. If I were you I would just opt out now rather than spend the next 5 months stressing over it.


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    keelybutler
  • We had a similar situation with our first. I really wanted to try. Truthfully, it was going to he a nightmare because they are up through the night every 4 hours, they have to eat every 3, and it takes 20-to minutes to feed them, so We would have been tired And missed a lot of the action. Our deciding factor was the pediatrician. She said absolutely not. Maybe ask whoever you are choosing as your pediatrician? It made everything easy for us because it wasn't really our decision at that point and we could just blame the Dr.
    keelybutler
  • Oh my! This is me to! I'm due aug 19th and my bestie is getting married sept 6. I am the MOH and am slightly freaking out as well. I told her I was pregnant on the day she told me they were getting married. She was going to have it in Vegas but decided to keep it local in Edmonton Alberta so I can come as she "couldn't get married without her bestie there". Now I feel an overwhelming obligation to go as the destination was changed to accommodate me..... I have no advice, just a good luck!
    keelybutler
  • My best friend is getting married in California and I'm in ohio, although the baby will be two mos by her wedding date so we are going to do it. We are
    Buying flights with travel insurance just in case, because it's hard to make a commitment like that not knowing what the situation will be. I can't say I would be comfortable flying with a two week old, especially not knowing the state your body will be in. I agree with an earlier poster about participating in the other pre-wedding festivities and then maybe having someone skype you in. Good luck with your decision!
    keelybutler
  • My in-laws decided they just HAD to get married two days after they KNEW my labor was being induced because "they wanted their new grandbaby to be part of the wedding". With much hesitation I checked out the hospital early, took my brand new baby out into the world which I wasn't yet prepared for, was scolded for being overly protective as family members tried passing her back and forth like some kind of object, and was forced to stand in for a ridiculous amount of wedding photos, in a dress, after being freshly stitched up post partem. At one point I actually had blood running down my leg. I was STUPID. I'm just telling you now it's okay to say NO! Looking back I wish I had, considering I am now divorced and want no part of that family. Your situation is different, it's your best friend. You'll have a bit more recovery time, just do what feels right when that time comes. If you feel up to it, go for it. If not, DON'T!
    Gooblinkeelybutler
  • I would tell her you'll try but be realistic about it with both yourself and her. Baby might not have arrived, baby might only be a few days old OR maybe baby comes 2 weeks early and you're feeling up for it. But bottom line is you can't decide now and it will have to be a play it by ear situation!
    keelybutler
  • My in-laws decided they just HAD to get married two days after they KNEW my labor was being induced because "they wanted their new grandbaby to be part of the wedding". With much hesitation I checked out the hospital early, took my brand new baby out into the world which I wasn't yet prepared for, was scolded for being overly protective as family members tried passing her back and forth like some kind of object, and was forced to stand in for a ridiculous amount of wedding photos, in a dress, after being freshly stitched up post partem. At one point I actually had blood running down my leg. I was STUPID. I'm just telling you now it's okay to say NO! Looking back I wish I had, considering I am now divorced and want no part of that family. Your situation is different, it's your best friend. You'll have a bit more recovery time, just do what feels right when that time comes. If you feel up to it, go for it. If not, DON'T!




    Wow! Just wow!! You are a trooper, there would have been blood dripping down someone's leg if my in laws tried this, but it sure as hell wouldn't be mine!! I think I would have killed my DH if my in laws ever tried to pull this shit and he did not put his foot down and say no way, no how, not happening - enjoy your wedding, we won't be there. Just wow.



  • I totally feel for all of you ladies going through this - especially being asked to be IN the wedding. I hope they are giving you flexibility with dress choices or at least one that is COMPLETELY flowy and guaranteed to fit no matter what. I think if I were in this situation (easier for me to say since I am not), I would tell my friend that I will definitely do everything in my power to be there for their special day, but I can't predict what the future brings as far as what day baby actually arrives, how I will be feeling, etc.. I would explain that I would hate for them to pay for a meal for me and DH in the off chance we can't make it and ask if they can check with the venue of there is any flexibility given your situation with the final numbers for meals. If you show that you truly do care and you are in a tough spot, a true friend should be completely understanding of that. After all, even if you do go, I highly doubt you will be doing shots with her or the "life of the party". Hope it all works out for all of you!



    keelybutler
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