What if no one offers to host our baby shower?

samathorn

so, FTM here and both my husband and I have lost our moms recently. I don't have any aunts or sisters, and our combined family is pretty small. We are 17 weeks now and no one has mentioned anything about a baby shower. Is this normal? I'm not upset but I would like to know if I'm supposed to suggest it to someone or if husband and I should host it ourselves if no one comes forward? It just seems rude to me to self-host, so we probably wouldn't do that. What are your thoughts, experiences, and opinions? Thanks in advance!!

kclg10

If no one offers, then you don't have one. It's still early though. You have plenty of time for someone to offer.

prairiedreams

Still early to count yourself out of a shower. Don't forget friends, co workers or club/church groups might get together.
I don't think you should host it yourself.

Miz_Liz

First, I am sorry about both of your moms. Do you have close friends that may be planning one? Sometimes people do them as a complete surprise, but typically they would need to know where you are registered and such so that they can include that information with the invite. You could always have a conversation similar to this post with whomever your closest GF is - simply say that you are sad that your mom isn't here to share in the moment with you and you know she would have wanted to throw a shower for you and you aren't sure if any of your other relatives will think to throw one. You definitely deserve one if this is your first, you are just in a tough spot; however as PP mentioned, you do have plenty of time for someone to offer, most showers tend to be after the 30 week mark.

samathorn

Thank you all for your awesome suggestions and reassurance. It's so hard being pregnant without their presence and guidance in our lives. We've suffered so much and this little boy is the greatest ray of light in both our lives.

I love the idea of a "meet the baby" BBQ and it's definitely something I can picture us doing. Like you said, there's still lots of time but even if it doesn't happen, we will be fine. A healthy baby is what we want more than any material item we could ever receive. It's the girly part of myself I guess... I think we all fantasize about it a little maybe?

carleym93

I don't think its fair that you shouldn't get the experience of a baby shower because of your situation. They're especially important as FTM's. If there really is nobody that will offer, I don't see any reason why you can't host your own.

amk013

You deserve a shower. Host your own! I have no problem with that at all.

kelseyrayay

I agree with other posters! It's not fair for you to not have one. If no one does it than host your own and maybe get a friend or someone to help you. You should have a shower!

Starynightsky24

Typically it's considered gift grabby to host your own shower. I would never do this.

I do think that a meet the baby party is okay if you don't mention anything about gifts.

I hope someone will give you the gift of a shower though!

lynp3

I like the idea of the BBQ when your little one arrives, I've never had a baby shower and this is baby 3&4

2ndtimemomy

I never had baby Shower for the same reasons no family around or friends .

puccagirl77

Do you have a close friend you could mention it to? If on of my friends told me that no one was throwing her a shower I would be ON IT!

Snooches07

I do think its important for you to have a shower! It's exciting and fun and something you should get! Can your husband throw around the idea to a girlfriend of yours? Or maybe host a couples shower? Those are pretty popular right now I feel and like they don't seem very gift seeking...

I do like the idea of a meet the baby BBQ afterwards but with a newborn that's a lot to do without any help.

Usually coworkers always have one at work for you so don't count that out.

taylorharber1108

I have friends that are hosting their own babyshower. I don't see what's wrong with hosting your own. I do hope that someone steps up and throws you one!

WDDCH

It's 2015. If you want to throw a shower then go for it. Maybe decide by week 26 if anyone hasn't stepped up.

I lost my mom when pregnant with my first. I am so so sorry for your losses.

mommaKCS

I didn't think anyone would throw me one, either. I lost my mom, and my only sister is across the country in California. I don't really have any girl friends in this area, either. Oddly enough, my DH's ex - the mother of my step children - asked him yesterday if she could throw me one. Shocking.

Anyway, I love the idea of a meet the baby BBQ if nobody offers!!

Seed0824

I agree you could do a baby welcoming or if you're finding out the sex, you could do a gender reveal party.

jbrenn16

LOVE the idea of a meet the baby BBQ!

mommamel93

My husband and I are doing our own baby shower were not depending on no one. Cause now in days people don't want to spend a dime on something that's just for a few hours. So we are doing it ourselves we have hired a event planner though to help us out

Jones071507

My family hasn't said anything yet either, but my girl friends are throwing me one maybe see if your best friend wouldn't mind putting one together?

sailorgal

I didn't get a shower for my first...honestly it's not a big deal. You will still get all the love and support from people you know. And it's still really early so don't count it out yet!

MrsClark7514

We are not doing a baby shower, my personal opinion is it seems like a collection party. My DH and I are getting our stuff a little at a time and it really has not been that expensive. I have found some great sales.

JemHolo2015

I would never host my own shower and would side eye the shit out of anyone who did. I'm honestly surprised at how many people have suggested that!!

I agree that you should casually mention it to a close girlfriend. My family isn't throwing my shower, a friend of mine is doing it. If no one throws you one, a sip and see is the way to go. A bbq would be perfect for that!