They won't tell me the gender!

LovewithXOXO

I am really frustrated today.

When I had my first appointment for my pregnancy, with my GP, she told me to look forward to the approximate 20 week ultrasound because that would be when I could find out the gender. So I waited till finally I had my 19 week scan two weeks ago. The technician did not at any point even mention the topic. Did not ask if we wanted to know, nothing. I figured she would get around to it at some point, as most people usually have an interest, right!? Well to my dismay after the anatomy scan she throws a towl on my stomach to clean up and says she is all done. "What about the gender? Could you tell?" I asked. "Oh, no, I couldn't tell" she replied, almost as though it was an odd question to ask. I don't believe her. I know that they cannot see sometimes, and I can accept that, but I really truly do not think she had any intention of even trying. Disappointed I went home and started thinking about getting a private ultrasound.

The next morning, I got a call from the hospital telling me that they need to me come back to redo some of the measurements. Yay! A second chance! So that is what I did today, well into my 21st week. At the start of the scan the tech asked me if I knew what I was having. I told him no, they could not see last time so hopefully we can see today. So he gets started doing all his measurements and at one point he had a really great view of the butt, legs spread wide! This was it! I thought, any second now, the big reveal! He did some measurements in the area, pelvis, bladder, etc, and moved on. I thought maybe he would get back to it and waited patiently. Finally, I hear, "All done." Towel on stomach, same as before. "Could you see the gender?" "No I could not see" he answers. LIES!!!! He was RIGHT THERE! Everything was exposed! He probably did see. I am almost sure he did.I was watching the whole time but I am no expert. I have seen examples of the "hamburger sign" (girl) and "turtle sign" (boy) and I THOUGHT maybe I saw a hamburger, but I cannot know for sure, LIKE HE SURELY DOES!

So I did some Googling to see if anyone else has had these kinds of issues at this hospital and as it turns out, there is a "guidline" not really a law, but a general rule in Ontario NOT to tell parents their child's gender to avoid selective abortions. WHAT!? Apparently if you get a cool tech, or doctor, they will tell you, but if they have a stick up their ass you are out of luck! I simply cannot believe this. I thought that, if they could see, then everyone had the option to know! My GP certainly did not warn me of this possibility and got me all excited for this scan. Why would she do that if this is a policy!? I have never heard of this in the USA or Canada. Maybe India or China, where gender selection is a big issue, but Ontario!? And you can always get a private scan so if you are someone who really cares enough about the gender to abort based on it, well these people can just go get a private scan anyway! This is just does a disservice to real parents who want to stop calling their child "it" and give it a name and feel more attached to it.

The thing that bothers me most about all this is not so much the policy. It is annoying and wrong, I feel, but the worst thing is the lies and misdirection! They got me so excited, anticipating this news, everyone in my family also waiting and waiting, only to be (probably) lied to, that they "Could not see it". Anyway, the moment I got home I set up an appointment for a private scan just to find out the gender. Should take 10 minutes tops, they said. I don't really want to expose my child to an extra scan, but the thought of waiting for birth to find out who I am carrying makes me feel ill. We live in the future dammit. We should be able to know this stuff!

Okay so this was mostly a rant, but I want to know if anyone has had a similar experience. Thanks.

HaruhiChan

Hmm I'd be worried more why they had you come back again, as the anatomy scan is for health reasons predominantly and the sex is a bonus, baby willing.

Needless to say, I think it's unlucky you got two techs who wouldn't tell you, or really seemed to care, but in all reality, that isn't their job. Another possibility is that perhaps they weren't sure enough to give you a definite answer.

Most big baby gear is neutral anyways. It's clothing that can be more tricky. But, they're just colours.

I hope you have a healthy baby and the second scan got what they needed and they don't find anything alarming.

LovewithXOXO

The scan redo was just because they didn't get some good angles. So far everything is looking just fine. I already spoke to my OB about the scans they did have done last week. They just needed  a redo of a hand, a portion of the spine and a couple other little things.

I am not really worried about baby gear and cloths, I am happy to put a girl in blue and a boy in pink. They are just going to spit up all over it anyway lol. I just want to KNOW!!!!!

LovewithXOXO

smeame14 said:

No one can tell you the gender, that won't be until after baby is born and a lot older to know the gender, but they wouldn't tell you the sex.  Maybe there was reasons why.  Maybe they did not get a good shot, how do you know that they didn't get to tell, maybe their focus was on the main reason of the ultrasound, to get accurate readings for your baby's health.  Maybe they did not get a good shot, If you really wanted to know, why did you not as DURING the ultrasound, and not after?  THere is nothing wrong with team Green.  We LOVED it, and DH LOVED being able to announce that we had a baby girl.  It was one of the most memorable parts of our daughter's life (so far). 

There is something wrong with team green for me. I want to know. If you are okay with waiting then that is fantastic for you. I want to know. I was lead to expect that I would likely be able to know. It seems to me that they were able to see if they tried. But they either did not try, or decided not to tell me. It is frustrating. All will be fine on Thursday when I get my private scan done, so it is no huge tragedy. I have just never heard of anyone having this much trouble finding out. Everyone I have ever known who was pregnant has had the option, and everyone, but one person who decided to wait, did find out.

And I did ask during. The first time she stopped abruptly and before she even got up I mentioned it. I figured it was standard and that she would get to it at some point. Ask if I want to know and then have a look. Did not happen. The second Time, he asked me if I knew yet, and, as I said in my first post, I replied that I did not, but I wanted to know.

LovewithXOXO

It most certainly is annoying and wrong. Practically every pregnant woman in the modern age has had the option to know. Why should that suddenly change? And if it is that way now, maybe doctors should not be telling pregnant women to anticipate the chance to know at a certain time, when they should very well know that it is against the guidelines to let them know? Or is that just a fun and totally un-annoying practical joke? Yeah that's it.

HaruhiChan

Hm. My SIL's friend could not find out at her scan. It does happen, even with today's technology. Sometimes, they just cannot tell, and it actually does not affect the pregnancy's health to know the sex, so they may not feel it's really necessary if they cannot tell for sure.

Plus, there's cases where the scans are WRONG.

And, what if the private scan also cannot tell? It's a chance. All I am saying is to not get your hopes set up so high. I sympathize, I'd have been really bummed in your shoes, but realistically, having the news that my baby is healthy would be the best news given to me.

LovewithXOXO

If they cannot tell then I can live with that. I know that that happens. I just want a fair shot. I want them to TRY! As explained, I feel like they did not try. And I have a suspicion that the second time, they got a clear shot, and could tell, but did not tell me in case I try to murder it, *rolls eyes*. I am more angry about them leading me on the way they did about it than the policy itself. I don't like the policy at all, but since there are ways around it (private scans) fine. But I have friends in the area who had no trouble. The policy did not stop their tech or docs from letting them know. And I have had TWO 20-ish week scans. How likely is it that both times it wast "just impossible" to see, as they want me to believe. They could at least be honest with me and tell me they are following those stupid guidelines.

And if the private scan cannot tell, I get a second, free appointment. If they STILL cannot tell, I will just assume that after four mid pregnancy scans, and no genitals to be found, my child is an alien human hybrid free of genitalia and I will love it just the same, gender it as a Xe, and name it Xenu.

CaliforniaDream87

I get wanting to know. I really do. However, you seem to really be overreacting. As you stated you're getting an elective done so you will have another chance. I guess for me I would just be celebrating my baby is healthy. The AS is always very stressful for me and finding out the sex is just a plus.

GL at your elective!

LovewithXOXO

I have read forums where women have broken down into tears because they could not find out. I am just frustrated, mainly because of the build up and let down, which could have been avoided. But everyone has their own temperament, I guess. One person's sigh of dissapointment is another person's melt down. In my mind though I just needed to vent. And it was great. Would have been nicer if some more people who understand the feelings I am having came around though, instead of a bunch if content green teams telling me I am overreacting. Oh well.

mirizzi&A

This sounds silly, but have you called your MD and asked about the baby's sex? Ultrasound techs are certified to get the images, but they aren't "qualified" to interpret them….. realistically, they're often quite good at interpreting, but it isn't officially covered in their scope of practice. A radiologist reviews all the ultrasound images, and if an adequate image exists, they usually include the sex in the report to your MD. 

I know a few years back, in my home province, they changed the policy on anatomy scans. They had a policy that they wouldn't look for the fetus's sex. This wasn't because of sex-selective abortions, but because it was taking too much time, and there became an access-to-services issue (if each scan takes an extra 5 minutes because you're looking for sex, that's 3 fewer scans that can be done by that tech in a day, with no additional medically-relevant information gained). 

Sex-selective abortions happen here (Canada). The ideology is distasteful (to me), but the same lack-of-a-law that allows every woman to chose whether to carry a pregnancy to term or not, also allows for the practice of post-conception gender selection. It used to be that a panel of "experts" determined whether a woman's reason to end a pregnancy was "adequate", or whether she would be forced to continue a pregnancy she didn't want, because her reasons weren't deemed "acceptable". I see no issue with knowing the sex of a fetus as early as you'd like. What someone chooses to do with that information is then up to them. While I think poorly of a person who terminates an otherwise planned, wanted, and healthy pregnancy on the basis of gender alone, I can't argue with their right to do so under the (lack-of-a) law (Canada). This same (lack-of-a) law protects the rights of 34 million women to chose what they do with their bodies. 

LovewithXOXO

mirizzi&A said:

This sounds silly, but have you called your MD and asked about the baby's sex? Ultrasound techs are certified to get the images, but they aren't "qualified" to interpret them….. realistically, they're often quite good at interpreting, but it isn't officially covered in their scope of practice. A radiologist reviews all the ultrasound images, and if an adequate image exists, they usually include the sex in the report to your MD. 

I know a few years back, in my home province, they changed the policy on anatomy scans. They had a policy that they wouldn't look for the fetus's sex. This wasn't because of sex-selective abortions, but because it was taking too much time, and there became an access-to-services issue (if each scan takes an extra 5 minutes because you're looking for sex, that's 3 fewer scans that can be done by that tech in a day, with no additional medically-relevant information gained). 

Sex-selective abortions happen here (Canada). The ideology is distasteful (to me), but the same lack-of-a-law that allows every woman to chose whether to carry a pregnancy to term or not, also allows for the practice of post-conception gender selection. It used to be that a panel of "experts" determined whether a woman's reason to end a pregnancy was "adequate", or whether she would be forced to continue a pregnancy she didn't want, because her reasons weren't deemed "acceptable". I see no issue with knowing the sex of a fetus as early as you'd like. What someone chooses to do with that information is then up to them. While I think poorly of a person who terminates an otherwise planned, wanted, and healthy pregnancy on the basis of gender alone, I can't argue with their right to do so under the (lack-of-a) law (Canada). This same (lack-of-a) law protects the rights of 34 million women to chose what they do with their bodies. 

I couldn't agree with you more.

About talking to me OB about the sex, well, they said "They could not see." Not, "Your OB will have the results", or anything like that. I am DYING to know, so off to the private clinic I go. I was SO ready to know two weeks ago, and So SOOO Ready to know today. Can not wait any longer. I want Thursday to get here asap! My sister and Mom and Dad and inlaws, Everyone is just dying to know! This is my and my husband's first (though we had a miscarriage a year ago) and it is just really super exciting for everyone in our lives, and we cannot wait to know more about him/ her. We hate calling it "It"! I want to feel like it is a person in there!

And if the real reason is time limits and all that. That would be fine with me too. They should just tell people! We don't do that! takes too long. Go pay for a scan if you want to know. Ok no problem! Instead of making me wait with baited breath only to leave with blue balls lol. I could have found out weeks ago if I knew they were going to play this game.

CaliforniaDream87

LovewithXOXO said:

I have read forums where women have broken down into tears because they could not find out. I am just frustrated, mainly because of the build up and let down, which could have been avoided. But everyone has their own temperament, I guess. One person's sigh of dissapointment is another person's melt down. In my mind though I just needed to vent. And it was great. Would have been nicer if some more people who understand the feelings I am having came around though, instead of a bunch if content green teams telling me I am overreacting. Oh well.

Are you kidding me? I am not team green but I happen to understand the REAL importance of the AS. Yes, in fact you are overreacting. You wanted people to coddle you and it's not going to happen. Your baby is healthy. You didnt get to find out the *sex* no big deal. You scheduled an elective. *eyeroll*

Baby2HG

I'm 18weeks and waiting till next week to get my anatomy scan. This is also my second baby and my first is a girl. She was so hard to tell if it was a boy or girl. We had at least 4 scans since I had placenta pervia and they all said "maybe a girl" and took pictures also and gave them to me for me to decide. It was hard to tell because her private was very puffy, so when she was born I realized how puffy she really was. So, around 20 weeks with her we went to get a 3d ultrasound to find out the sex exclusive. It was a girl.
This time around I'm not holding my breath either. The kid can let himself or not. I seriously don't expect to know next week and if I do. That's a miracle from my kids. If we don't know we'll just get a 3d scan again.

LovewithXOXO

Baby2HG said:

I'm 18weeks and waiting till next week to get my anatomy scan. This is also my second baby and my first is a girl. She was so hard to tell if it was a boy or girl. We had at least 4 scans since I had placenta pervia and they all said "maybe a girl" and took pictures also and gave them to me for me to decide. It was hard to tell because her private was very puffy, so when she was born I realized how puffy she really was. So, around 20 weeks with her we went to get a 3d ultrasound to find out the sex exclusive. It was a girl.
This time around I'm not holding my breath either. The kid can let himself or not. I seriously don't expect to know next week and if I do. That's a miracle from my kids. If we don't know we'll just get a 3d scan again.

Maybe you will get lucky! Hopefully in your case they at least try. I hope you get to know right away!

HaruhiChan

Not team green myself, just realistic. I wanted to know what my husband and I were having. But, if we couldn't find out, then we couldn't find out.

Only one person here actually stated they were team green.

And I do understand and sympathize, it's just that you are getting a little overly frustrated about it, when it's not a huge stress. Take a deep breath lots of women also learn their babies have horrible health problems or malformations at this scan.

I hope you are able to find what sex you are having at your elective scan, I really do. But try not to stress so much about it

LovewithXOXO

I'll clarify once more. I am not this frustrated because I simply could not find out. I am because I was lead to believe that I would at least have the option to try. First by my doctor, then by the ultrasound team themselves. At my 13 week scan they ended the session by saying it is too early to determine the sex, but next time you should be good. Then my 19 week comes around and I am telling you, it was the furthest thing from her mind. She did not even begin to try. If there was a policy in place, as I have since heard there is, they should not have lead me on. They should have mentioned it at some point, as most people are curious about it.

Then today, at the redo, he DOES ask if I want to know. And I do, and, again I am not expert, but at one point he had a perfect chance, and either did not take note, or simply did not tell me. I THINK I saw signs of it being a girl, but I cannot trust my own diagnosis. I have also heard speculation, that, since it is up to the discretion of the tech/doc, to tell a woman if they want to (and most do, at least everyone else I know has been told) most of the time, when they refuse to tell you, it is because it is a girl, and they want to prevent you from killing it. And that is insulting that that may be why they did not tell me today. And if, as I suspect, he did see, and decided not to tell me for whatever reason, the no telling guideline, or maybe they want to doctor to tell me later, they decide to be dishonest and just lie and say they could not see. If they had no intention on ever telling me, they could have told me a long time ago, and I could have taken matters into my own hands earlier and had piece of mind already, instead of being dragged along.

If they tried, and failed to determine the gender, I would be disappointed, but thankful for their attempt and skip away happily to my private screening. I was lead on and lied to. THAT is why I got pissed off at them earlier. It is crap care.

HaruhiChan

*sigh*

I still think you are just painting the situation the colour only you want to see.

He very well may not have been able to tell even though he was in that area. Sometimes, the positioning is difficult to read, sometimes the machine just isn't sensitive enough to get a clear image. The angle your child was sitting at also could affect everything.

I don't think anyone intentionally led you on. I think it was just very poor coincidences, that's all.

LovewithXOXO

HaruhiChan said:

*sigh*

I still think you are just painting the situation the colour only you want to see.

He very well may not have been able to tell even though he was in that area. Sometimes, the positioning is difficult to read, sometimes the machine just isn't sensitive enough to get a clear image. The angle your child was sitting at also could affect everything.

I don't think anyone intentionally led you on. I think it was just very poor coincidences, that's all.

Oh yes it is quite possible that I am wrong and they really could not tell, at least the second time. The first time there was no attempt I am pretty much certain about that, but it might be possible that he simply could not see today. I am obvious suspicious that that is not the case, but I could be wrong. Still, if that is the case, he could have maybe mentioned it. "I'm sorry the angle isnt right I cannot tell you the gender today" that would have been nice, instead of starting the scan by asking if I knew/wanted to know, then keeping his mouth shut until he threw a towel on me and said "All done." Just poor treatment. It is frustrating.

taahira

@LovewithXOXO just a question. I understand a policy of not telling parents early on in pregnancy the sex of the baby. Abortions do happen when the sex of the baby isn't what was desired. However at a 20-21 week scan, isn't that far to late to request an abortion without a good medical reason? It doesn't seem like a policy that would make sense this late in pregnancy.

LovewithXOXO

taahira said:

@LovewithXOXO just a question. I understand a policy of not telling parents early on in pregnancy the sex of the baby. Abortions do happen when the sex of the baby isn't what was desired. However at a 20-21 week scan, isn't that far to late to request an abortion without a good medical reason? It doesn't seem like a policy that would make sense this late in pregnancy.

In Ontario you can have an elective abortion up to 24 weeks.

taahira

LovewithXOXO said:

taahira said:

@LovewithXOXO just a question. I understand a policy of not telling parents early on in pregnancy the sex of the baby. Abortions do happen when the sex of the baby isn't what was desired. However at a 20-21 week scan, isn't that far to late to request an abortion without a good medical reason? It doesn't seem like a policy that would make sense this late in pregnancy.

In Ontario you can have an elective abortion up to 24 weeks.

Wow really! Without a medical reason? That's crazy, there are babies born at 24 weeks that survive.

LovewithXOXO

taahira said:

LovewithXOXO said:

taahira said:

@LovewithXOXO just a question. I understand a policy of not telling parents early on in pregnancy the sex of the baby. Abortions do happen when the sex of the baby isn't what was desired. However at a 20-21 week scan, isn't that far to late to request an abortion without a good medical reason? It doesn't seem like a policy that would make sense this late in pregnancy.

In Ontario you can have an elective abortion up to 24 weeks.

Wow really! Without a medical reason? That's crazy, there are babies born at 24 weeks that survive.

It is crazy. From what I understand, it is hard to find a doctor who will do it, but not impossible. It is an option up to that time and I agree it is nuts because there are babies that survive at that time.

I read a forum post, somewhere else, a while back by a woman who was disgusted with her doctor at the Ottawa Civic hospital because he kept mentioning abortion. She was high risk but did not have any serious complications. Still he kept encouraging her to think about abortion and said that he would do it up to 24 weeks because it was a teaching hospital and it would be educational for the student doctors.

taahira

LovewithXOXO said:

taahira said:

LovewithXOXO said:

taahira said:

@LovewithXOXO just a question. I understand a policy of not telling parents early on in pregnancy the sex of the baby. Abortions do happen when the sex of the baby isn't what was desired. However at a 20-21 week scan, isn't that far to late to request an abortion without a good medical reason? It doesn't seem like a policy that would make sense this late in pregnancy.

In Ontario you can have an elective abortion up to 24 weeks.

Wow really! Without a medical reason? That's crazy, there are babies born at 24 weeks that survive.

It is crazy. From what I understand, it is hard to find a doctor who will do it, but not impossible. It is an option up to that time and I agree it is nuts because there are babies that survive at that time.

I read a forum post, somewhere else, a while back by a woman who was disgusted with her doctor at the Ottawa Civic hospital because he kept mentioning abortion. She was high risk but did not have any serious complications. Still he kept encouraging her to think about abortion and said that he would do it up to 24 weeks because it was a teaching hospital and it would be educational for the student doctors.

That late in pregnancy, I would think you would have to give birth to the baby. It's completely fully formed
It's really sad doctors would offer an abortion that late.

LovewithXOXO

taahira said:

LovewithXOXO said:

taahira said:

LovewithXOXO said:

taahira said:

@LovewithXOXO just a question. I understand a policy of not telling parents early on in pregnancy the sex of the baby. Abortions do happen when the sex of the baby isn't what was desired. However at a 20-21 week scan, isn't that far to late to request an abortion without a good medical reason? It doesn't seem like a policy that would make sense this late in pregnancy.

In Ontario you can have an elective abortion up to 24 weeks.

Wow really! Without a medical reason? That's crazy, there are babies born at 24 weeks that survive.

It is crazy. From what I understand, it is hard to find a doctor who will do it, but not impossible. It is an option up to that time and I agree it is nuts because there are babies that survive at that time.

I read a forum post, somewhere else, a while back by a woman who was disgusted with her doctor at the Ottawa Civic hospital because he kept mentioning abortion. She was high risk but did not have any serious complications. Still he kept encouraging her to think about abortion and said that he would do it up to 24 weeks because it was a teaching hospital and it would be educational for the student doctors.

That late in pregnancy, I would think you would have to give birth to the baby. It's completely fully formed
It's really sad doctors would offer an abortion that late.

 

I'mpretty sure they do the partial birth, then brain suck technique at that stage.

Certainly not something I would ever do! It is ok to tell me the sex, really. I am not going to destroy this precious human because of it, you paranoid bastards. lol

LovewithXOXO

https://news.nationalpost.com/2013/02/05/todays-letters-late-trimester-abortions-are-not-happening-in-canada-without-a-reason/

Apparently there is no real law on how late abortions can be performed here. Only "professional guidelines" A lot like the "Do not tell them the sex" guideline. So if you are crazy enough, and find the right (or wrong) doctor, you can abort as late as 35 weeks... or more.. if you want to. Until the moment it exits your body alive, it is yours to do with what you will. That just blows my mind.

CatsAreShady

I can understand being disappointed but this reaction is a tad extreme. I was not team green for any of my pregnancies because I also wanted to know the sex of my babies. I get that you basically feel that they lied to you. Does it suck? Sure. Should they be better at handling patients? Most definitely. But in the scope of things even though many parents find it exciting, it's not that important to the doctors at all. They are focused on a laundry list of other things and sex definitely fall at the bottom of the list for them.

Moving forward, at least you get to find out anyway. Don't get too worked up.

6kidscount

I Didn't know the sex of my first 2 but that was 17 and almost 16 years ago. I only got one ultrasound at 20 weeks and they couldn't tell. It drove me crazy the whole time I was pregnant and I don't think they had 3d ultrasounds back then or I never heard of it. I'm just glad they do now its really hard not knowing when you want to.

MyCousinVinny

OP, I think you've overlooked the very fact that you have the most fail-safe option to find out what you are having: it's called childbirth.  You'll know for sure when that happens.

I get that you want to know right.now but if it's not in the cards for you, then it's just not.  Did the doctors give you the run around?  Maybe.  Did they lie to you about knowing the sex?  It's possible.  But you won't ever know for sure and to continue harping on it and carrying around these negative feelings is just wasting time on something that's not that important.  Focus on what's really important: you have a healthy baby and you'll find out the sex in just 20-ish more weeks.  Congrats!

PrimRoseMama

We can to go back twice for other measurements for both viable pregnancies. My kids are wiggle worms & getting the necessary measurements was difficult. This also proved true for finding out the sex. We didn't find out with either one until 24/25 weeks because the techs couldn't see.

So it's not uncommon.

I'm not opposed to Team Green. However, I'm not entirely understanding why this particular part of the ultrasound is your hill to die on OP. :-??

PrimRoseMama

OP could you please refrain from flippant mentions of "killing it" & the "brain suck" type language? You are trivializing 2nd trimester loss/abortion. There are those lurking about that have had to terminate in 2nd trimester for various reasons & that can be very disturbing to read that type of language.

I've got thick skin but some not so far out from their ordeal could stumble on this & it could be very hurtful. I'm not trying to be a jerk-- I just did a double take at your casual, seemingly unfeeling language.

Even those that choose abortion in 2nd trimester are not heartless monsters. You never know the details of anyone's journey.

CatsAreShady

Bliss+Berry said:

Pro tip, you need to learn to handle your emotions and practice some patience. You're about to become a parent. Flying off the handle and overreacting when you don't get your way isn't going to serve you well.

I agree.

DottieEmbers

I think ya'll need to give her a break
She was just venting (for good reason), and now you are saying she is impatient and what a bad trait for a parent to have...blah blah blah. I think it is pretty rude to start making those kind of judgments. She didn't come here to be judged. Get off your high horses

CatsAreShady

DottieEmbers said:

I think ya'll need to give her a break
She was just venting (for good reason), and now you are saying she is impatient and what a bad trait for a parent to have...blah blah blah. I think it is pretty rude to start making those kind of judgments. She didn't come here to be judged. Get off your high horses

Let's see, telling her that we understand her frustration even though we think she's taking it a bit far is being too hard on her? Suggesting that OP have more patience is now a bad thing? If you're going to be a WK, at least make sense with it.

maryalice626

Geeze people... she is pregnant. Pregnant women fly off the handle for no reason at all but to you at the time it bothers you. I had a complete melt down the other week over a silly cord that goes to the back of my TV. It happens. When people come on this site they aren't looking for a pitty party.. they are looking to see if anyone else has been though the same things they have. Esp. for first time mothers, here is where you come instead of driving your doctors crazy. 

CatsAreShady

maryalice626 said:

Geeze people... she is pregnant. Pregnant women fly off the handle for no reason at all but to you at the time it bothers you. I had a complete melt down the other week over a silly cord that goes to the back of my TV. It happens. When people come on this site they aren't looking for a pitty party.. they are looking to see if anyone else has been though the same things they have. Esp. for first time mothers, here is where you come instead of driving your doctors crazy. 

I never flew off the handle for no reason so no, I don't relate to that. You say you had a meltdown over a tv cord but that didn't turn into a long angry rant either. And please stop telling us what this site is for. Not everything gets a pass because of pregnancy.

finchfeeder80

maryalice626 said:

Geeze people... she is pregnant. Pregnant women fly off the handle for no reason at all but to you at the time it bothers you. I had a complete melt down the other week over a silly cord that goes to the back of my TV. It happens. When people come on this site they aren't looking for a pitty party.. they are looking to see if anyone else has been though the same things they have. Esp. for first time mothers, here is where you come instead of driving your doctors crazy. 

No. Absolutely not. If there's one thing that drives me crazy it's using the hormones excuse. You may feel a certain way, but we are adults, not two year olds, and are in full command of how we choose to respond to a situation, regardless of how "hormones" may be making you feel. 

I will fully admit that I have had a snippier response or two to my husband but I haven't once flown off the handle at him or anyone else. Because part of being an adult is recognizing that what you are feeling is irrational, taking a breath and not letting a temporary emotion rule you. And if you have a moment and slip (because we're all human, after all), you apologize for yourself and move on. 

allrightmeow

maryalice626 said:

Geeze people... she is pregnant. Pregnant women fly off the handle for no reason at all but to you at the time it bothers you. I had a complete melt down the other week over a silly cord that goes to the back of my TV. It happens. When people come on this site they aren't looking for a pitty party.. they are looking to see if anyone else has been though the same things they have. Esp. for first time mothers, here is where you come instead of driving your doctors crazy. 

LOL.  No.  I blame stupid rom coms for making people think this is normal behavior. 

Seh114

So did you get to go to the elective scan today? I hope you get to find out if it's a girl or a boy soon!