September 2015 Moms

A good day turned bad :(

Well today was soo good, until it sucked. SO and I have his daughter every Friday - Sunday. It unfortunately doesn't work for us to have her during the week because we live more than a hour from where she goes to school, so we both look forward to the weekend soo much. He is a wonderful dad and his little girl pretty much takes me as a second mom. SO's sister has her every day after school, and she plays with our niece who is also five. The weather today was beautiful and my unofficial SIL thought it'd be nice to get out of their small town and head to La Crosse (about 15 minutes from our town) instead, which was handy because bonus-wise it saved us a drive.. Sooo we met up there. The kinda-SIL told little one's mom where she was and such, so nothing should have been an issue. The girls played at the park, and we chatted which was actually awesome (SIL can be hit and miss, but today she was great). We even told little one about her new sibling at the park today! (We got her a shirt that says "big sister," which she had to sound out, because she's just learning to read. Once she was done being confused, she was so excited!) After that we all grabbed some supper at SO's favorite restaurant - a buffet, don't judge me. Then we decided to take the girlies to the movies, because we don't all get to hang out together very much. Well, during this time little one's mother decided to send us all rude, crazy person texts for essentially no reason, and when they went unreplied to (because we were busy and we're not the kind of people who are glued to our phones!) she decided to have her parents start calling us...and then show up at our house! What insanity. They then had the gall to say that we could call her mother right then while they stood right there, so that they could do whatever she decided. My poor SO was so upset that he just went and got sleeping baby and handed her over and told them he was sick of being treated like a weekend babysitter instead of her dad. I have horror story after horror story about her mother (our neice isn't even allowed over to her house anymore because she doesn't care for the kids) and now I'm at work and so upset and so sad for my SO! Sorry for the winded vent, but I'm so angry and upset :(

Re: A good day turned bad :(

  • I'm so sorry you and your SO had such a horrible ending to a wonderful day :( To mention the positive that I gathered 1st - It sounds like the little one had a great day. She may be confused in the AM when she wakes up and isn't with you guys, but other than that it sounds to me like she had a great afternoon and evening with her family. I know that it was rotten for the 2 of you and you definitely don't deserve to deal with that kind of crud. Are there permanent orders through the court for visitation and the schedule? I used to work for a family law attorney and it's sad to say, but until there are permanent orders, she (little one's mom) will most likely continue getting away with her crazy behavior whenever she feels like it. It may be worth it to consider going through the court, they wouldn't be able to get away with that kind of stuff with an order in place. Maybe once things cool down in the morning you guys can attempt to pick the little one up for the rest of her visit? Best of luck and wishing you a better Saturday. XO
  • sorry your day ended badly :( as PP said, I hope you can finish your weekend visit!
  • Loading the player...
  • Thanks @mariessa02 and @beansideirae /: we did have a really nice day, so I'm glad she got that. It's really a shame that courts favor mamas implicitly (I know it's often the right choice, but not always). She just really doesn't get the right care or time at her mother's, which sucks. Unfortunately, there are no set orders. I know SO wants to set it, but I honestly think he's just afraid he'll file and something would go wrong with them (which it of course wouldn't, because there's no reason for it to), and then her mom would be vindictive (afraid of losing child support $$ no doubt), and not let us have her anymore. I know it really sounds like he needs to step up and just do it, I just feel bad because he's just so afraid of anything that could keep him from seeing his daughter :( holding out hope we'll end up with her for the rest of the weekend.
  • As a bit of encouragement, I am in a somewhat similar situation. DH was granted joint custody with his Ex. Our little guy is with us during the school year and sees his mom during the summer and for 1/2 of Christmas break - she lives in TX. We are in CA (which is where the Orders were established) and CA is known for siding with moms, but when dads are clearly doing their part, are doing a good job, and mom is slacking, they do grant dads pretty fair deals. I understand that your SO is afraid of losing time with his daughter, my DH was worried about the same throughout the entire process, but he was in the right and proved himself to the judge. Now we have our son pretty much full time. Our situation is a bit complex, but still, in our case daddy justly received fair custody arrangements. I would start documenting incidents like the one that happened today. Include times, places and who was involved, keep records of the texts - print screen shots, etc. If you guys do end up going to court, it's best to be very prepared with real evidence. I totally feel for you and hope that the situation improves regardless of whether or not you guys take take the legal route. Let us know if you guys are able to finish your weekend visit. Hopefully it'll work out. <3
  • I'm sorry @sugarmagn0lia that your day ended bad and that his ex caused so much trouble. My bro-in-law went through something similar with his ex and their daughter. I always wondered why he didn't take her to court, but I know he feared losing his daughter altogether so chose to keep the peace outside the court. He missed out on a lot because of his choice and had no protection against his exes foolish and controlling behavior, so I still think it's best to take the legal route. But on the bright side, he waited patiently for years and finally when his ex was ready, she decided to share custody with him when his daughter was 10. I hear it does get better, and I'm sure if your SO just tells her he would like to get shared custody through court to avoid "miscommunications" like the one from today, she'll realize that he is right and he has just as much say as she does in their child rights. Good luck to you both. Try to relax and focus on work since there is nothing that can be done about it tonight.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"